


Let Me Count the Ways (I Love You)

by KrymshelAngel



Series: Fall For You [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Choi Soobin is very frustrating pls forgive the bb, Choi Yeonjun is cute, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Main Paring-yeonbin, Mentioned BTS members, Mentioned Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Choi Soobin, One sided- Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Pining, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, side taegyu, some curses here and there, the slow burn is real, very cliche
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 72,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24642376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrymshelAngel/pseuds/KrymshelAngel
Summary: Somehow luck had been on Yeonjun’s side since the start of the year. He promised himself that once he meets tall guy again, he won’t be letting him go.Soobin thought he'd never see famous senior, Choi Yeonjun, ever again. But fate always loved playing with him.Crushing on your best friend + Being single was enough, but then add a really cute senior into the mix?It’s gonna be a long year.Continuation to Just One Kiss...
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Series: Fall For You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773643
Comments: 239
Kudos: 515





	1. One Peek

**Author's Note:**

> So as promised, Hi… once again 😅  
> I’m not used to writing full chaptered fics but I’m trying my best! (I usually write cute drabbles...)  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter nevertheless ~
> 
> Thank you for those who read and supported Just One Kiss! I was shocked that Just One Kiss got loads of recognition even though it’s just a random thing that I thought of out of the blue...
> 
> To those who are here to read this and haven’t read Just One Kiss yet, please go read that first. This would make a lot more sense after reading that.

It’s the year’s first _official_ Dance club meeting. Yeonjun was more than ready to show off his skills and get on his usual routines. First club meetings were always overcrowded. A lot of freshmen were curious and wanted to see what the club was all about. 

Last year’s competition got them loads of recognition after all. It’s all thanks to Jimin hyung’s solo which brought something new to the dance stage— it happened to be contemporary dancing. They were all in awe at how graceful he looked and how he owned the stage with his amazing performance. Of course there’s also Hoseok hyung but do we really even have to mention him? It’s basically a known fact that he is this university’s King of Dance.

Even Yeonjun himself got into this university because of him. With dancing as a minor, he immediately auditioned for the dance club and was accepted and recognized by Jung Hoseok himself. It’s a huge honor that’s why he needed to work harder. There’s no way he would let his hyungs and their reputation down.

But these freshmen are starting to annoy him. He had two more questions of ‘when do we get to dance?’ and ‘when do we learn cool stuff?’ away from shouting and asking all newbies to leave the studio. It’s such a disaster and he doesn’t know how to handle this type of shit. His patience was running too thin. Were they like this when they were freshmen? Is this how the year is gonna be without Hobi hyung? He never thought his respect for his hyung could go any higher. 

Finally, Jimin hyung came. But instead of his usual sunshine smile or nagging mother aura, he had this _‘ya’ll better sit the fuck down or I’m kicking you out’_ look. Everyone was quiet and silently waited for instructions. A few minutes of introductions, basic club information and policies, then the first group of dancers performed. It’s the usual yearly dance performance, what the viewers didn’t know is that this performance would gauge everyone’s abilities. A sort of unknown audition. It wasn’t easy to get into the club afterall.

After the performance, Jimin asked everyone to repeat the whole dance. This is where the elimination starts. It basically showed how one person concentrates and how determined they are to be in the club. Of course, no one would get it with just one watch which would also show how creative and talented a newbie is.

Yeonjun knew staying and joining the club wasn’t an easy task. He observed the flailing freshmen—he knew only half of this week’s newbies will show up next week and only a few would be determined enough to stay. There were complaints of not knowing the steps after seeing it only once— that’s where Jimin called on Yeonjun.

Yeonjun, like routine, danced to the same song with a completely different choreography, he just made up on the spot, but was still able to make it look just as good. After a verse, Jimin hyung called on Beomgyu, who created a different rendition of the dance. Lastly Chan was called, who easily repeated the last sequence of the choreography exactly as it was. They all danced to the same song with different choreographies yet all had the same feel to it.

“Did that stop them from dancing?” Jimin challenged, “Coming here means you’re interested, and that means you know how and _want_ to dance, so what’s stopping you from dancing?” 

Each and every single new member tried their best to dance. Yeonjun and the others were observing potential new members while Jimin hyung started to eliminate those who were slacking or more likely uninterested. Others, well, they just gave up on their own.

Jimin called it a day with one last talk to congratulate the remaining new members and to give them the usual schedules. But as officers of the club, it’s his and other members’ duties to make sure the newbies keep coming back. 

Of course, the end of the meeting isn’t really the end for the official members of the club. Music was once again played, Jimin with the rest of the club, did some freestyles for the sake of dancing and having fun. It’s obvious that each and every member loved dancing. 

Just as they were going onto another round of new choreography, a knock was heard from the studio door and a red haired freshmen peeked inside the room.

“Sorry, but the club meeting is already over.” Jimin called out. 

“Hyunie!” Someone shouted from the other side of the studio. The music was stopped and everyone stared at Beomgyu. No wonder Yeonjun thought the red haired guy was familiar.

“No, hyung! That’s my boyfriend.” Beomgyu said, as he came rushing to the door with a huge smile on his face. The red haired guy stepped inside and bowed “I’m sorry sunbae-nim, I would like to excuse Beomgyu hyung for awhile.”

Everyone ‘ohhh’-ed and teased Beomgyu as he stuck his tongue out and unabashedly hugged his boyfriend in front of everyone. Beomgyu really had no shame, just like how he clung to his boyfriend while waiting by the kissing booth.

The kissing booth. Yeonjun couldn’t help but blush every time he remembered how his dumb idea turned out to be one of the most memorable thing that happened in his life. Exaggerating as it may be, but Yeonjun would never forget it. For a regular someone, having a crush would be a momentary thing. But Yeonjun _isn’t_ a regular someone, him having a crush isn’t very common. Tall guy had always been his crush and he couldn’t seem to get him off his mind especially now that _that_ happened. Since Beomgyu knew who tall guy was, he wondered if he should actually ask Beomgyu about him. 

_Just for some information. Nothing else. It’s not like he’s gonna start looking for him—_ just like how he did years ago. _No_ , he convinced himself, he’s just _curious_.

After Beomgyu’s boyfriend fiasco, they went on with their personal business, some continued on practicing new choreography, some were already packing, while some, like Yeonjun and Jimin, continued to stare at Beomgyu and his boyfriend.

“Wah, to be in a relationship…” Jimin sighed, as he sat down on the studio floor and leaned onto the mirror behind him. “Aren’t they cute?”

“You talk as if you don’t have your own boyfriend, hyung.” Yeonjun joined him as he rested and continued staring into space— space, being Beomgyu and his boyfriend. “Boyfriends are overrated.”

“You’re just saying that because you're single and bitter. It’s not good for the soul, Yeonjunnie.”

“You just really know where to hit that bullet and rub it where it hurts the most don’t you, hyung?”

Beomgyu and his boyfriend just continued on talking and being their mushy selves. Until the door had opened once again, and a hand appeared to tap Beomgyu’s boyfriend’s shoulder. This was followed by a familiar face that was stuck on Yeonjun’s head since the school fair.

Yeonjun could feel blood rushing onto his face as he kept staring at the new face that appeared. Unfortunately, said face had once again disappeared as Beomgyu and his boyfriend went out the door.

“That guy looked familiar...” Jimin whispered as he watched Yeonjun get up on his feet and walk towards the door. The younger hesitated for a while and stood there by the door looking dumb. Jimin laughed at the younger, shaking his head as he went on to join the other members. _Youngsters these days._

Just _one peek._ Yeonjun promised himself that he just wanted to know if tall guy was actually outside. Again, He’s just _curious_ , okay? One look is all he needs. Yeonjun slowly opened the door.

“Oh! Yeonjun hyung is here!” Beomgyu said as he saw him through the door and waved Yeonjun over. “Here’s my boyfriend and this is Soobin hyung. You remember him right, hyung? I mean you guys kissed after all.”

Sometimes Yeonjun forgets that Beomgyu doesn’t have any tact at all. He could see Tall guy blushing, and he knew he was too. Yeonjun had no other choice but to come out and join the three.

“Um, sorry, hi”

“Sometimes you just don’t know when to shut up, Beomie.” Red haired guy sarcastically told his boyfriend and thus, the couple started their bicker.

“What?! It’s true!”

“Way to make it all awkward, babe.”

“Why are you being so mean to me right, now?! I’m older, I deserve respect.”

“Sure, baby, whatever you say.”

Yeonjun glanced at Tall guy—Soobin (?), who seemed to be used to all of this. Finally got the name for that handsome face. Yup, Yeonjun’s whipped and he’s not gonna deny it anymore. He interrupted the couple’s bickering to introduce himself.

“Sorry, for interrupting, I was just gonna tell Beomgyu that he could go if he wants to.. I’m Choi Yeonjun, by the way.”

“No, it’s okay, Yeonjun-ssi, we’re the ones who interrupted. I just wanted to see Beomgyu hyung before I go to my next class. Sorry, I haven’t properly introduced myself. I’m Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu’s unfortunate boyfriend.”

“Yah! This is just too mean. I’m gonna cry Hyunnie.” Beomgyu pouted, hitting his boyfriend’s shoulder. Taehyun consoled his boyfriend by hugging him.

“Aigoo, is my baby gonna cry for slight teasing?”

“You’re being mean.”

Disgusted was all Soobin’s face conveyed. They were both judging the younger couple. Yeonjun couldn’t help but find the tall guy cute and giggled, “I guess you suffer with this everyday?” He asked, initiating a conversation with the taller. Soobin faced him and sighed.

“You mean every second, and every minute of my life. The bicker a lot on our group messages too...”

Yeonjun laughed even harder at Soobin’s glum expression. The couple seemed to notice and finally, turned their attention back to the other two.

“Excuse Soobin hyung’s rude attitude, Yeonjun-ssi. He’s single that’s why he’s like that.” This Kang Taehyun-kid, was brutally honest. No wonder he and Beomgyu got along well. 

“No, it’s okay, I’m single, too.” Yeonjun assured, “I get his point a lot.”

“Yeonjun hyung is more bitter than anyone else you’ve met, Hyunnie.” Beomgyu retaliated, “We should hang out with him more often so you could see his unpleasant attitude towards couples.”

“Yah, Choi Beomgyu, you brat!”

They all laughed at their childish behaviors. Taehyun adjusted his backpack and stepped back from his boyfriend with a wave. “I only have a few minutes before my last class, babe. I need to get going, now. It’s nice meeting you Yeonjun-ssi.”

“You too… and Yeonjun hyung is fine. I’m guessing I’m older than you guys..” Yeonjun replied.

“You are, hyung.” Taehyun said, “See you around.” 

He and Soobin then bid them goodbye. Beomgyu gave a quick smooch on his boyfriend’s cheek before letting him go.

“I’ll see you guys later!”

“See ya!” 

Soobin waved one last time and turned to Yeonjun with a small smirk as he nodded the other goodbye.

“Bye to you too,” Yeonjun frowned. It almost melted into a goofy smile, but he resisted in favor of proper composure. Which turns out to be a good thing, because when he turned around, there were a set of eyes grinning back at him, Beomgyu knowing something isn’t a good thing.

“I was just gonna tell Beomgyu that he could go if he wants to..” Beomgyu mockingly murmured and continued on snickering on his own.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Beomgyu shrugged and went back inside the studio. 

“What, nothing? Yah!” Yeonjun chased Beomgyu inside the studio, demanding answers from the younger.

———————————

Yeonjun didn’t know what he was doing at the medical building at 10am when his regular class schedule stated that he didn’t have any classes until 1pm.

He wasn’t even a medical student for crying out loud. He belonged to the Business Department _not_ Medical Sciences. But he just couldn’t help himself, he wanted to check if Beomgyu’s statements were true. Yeonjun isn’t _stalking_ , no.. He just wanted to take _one peek_ , that’s all! He had no intention of meeting him, just wanting to confirm his major...He’s silently making his way through the laboratories of the medical building until he felt something hit him.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Yeonjun said, falling backwards a few steps from the impact.

“No, that was my fau—oh, hey,” It’s tall guy aka Choi Soobin. Of course it is, with his usual nice smile and adorable dimples on his cheeks. It’s either Yeonjun has shitty timing or miraculous coincidences.

“Hey… hi, Soobin? Beomgyu’s friend, right? I never really got your name.” _Lies_. Yeonjun just had a one-on-one interview with Beomgyu once he got a hold of the younger a week before.

“Yeah, Soobin. And you’re, Yeonjun-ssi?” Soobin said more than asks, trying his best to balance a few books he’s holding.

“Yah, I told you guys that you can call me hyung but yeah, that’s me.” Yeonjun beamed, happy that the taller remembered his name. “Beomgyu told me a lot about you. Says you’re some kind of their parent or something.”

“I definitely don’t want that title, I wouldn’t want to have those three as my children.” Soobin laughed and readjusted the books he’s carrying. “But that’s Beomgyu for you—talks a lot about his friends and just never stopped opening his mouth.”

“True that.” Up close, Yeonjun noticed that Soobin is unmistakably attractive without the context of the kissing booth. It’s not that Yeonjun had doubted this, it’s just that he’s painfully reminded. Soobin looked ten times better with a white coat on. _An absolute gift from heaven._ He is also reminded of the fact that he still had a major crush on him and that he possibly looked dumb staring at him right now.

“So what brings you here, Yeonjun _hyung_?” Soobin asked, emphasizing the ‘hyung’ to please the older. “Planning to change your major?”

“Guilty, I just learned that after all these years, I could never really take business seriously.” Yeonjun jokingly shrugged. “Nah, I’m just searching for someone. You?”

“This is actually my building, I was just bringing these manuals for our laboratory classes.”

“Huh, I didn’t think you’d be in Med School.”

“Well, technically, still on pre-med but hopefully would get there. Who are you looking for, anyway? Maybe I could help.”

_I already found who I’m looking for._

Yeonjun needed to snap out of it and think. He can’t just casually say that ‘No it’s okay, it’s you who I’m searching for.’ That’s _cheesy_ , not to mention creepy.

“No, no.. don’t let me bother you.” Yeonjun casually said. Thinking of a way to escape the conversation, he stared at the books Soobin’s holding. “Looks like you’re the one needing help. I could carry some if you want.”

“It’s okay, my class is just by the end of the hall. There’s only like 20 of these, our professors just needed to return the manuals to their owners and we could leave. We could go looking for that someone.”

_Now, what would you do Choi Yeonjun?_

“Sure! I mean if it’s no bother..” He couldn’t help but just agree especially if he’s offering in such a nice manner. He’s so nice, Yeonjun doesn't deserve it.

“Of course, not. We’re somewhat friends so I’ll gladly help. Just, let me hand these out first.” Soobin continued walking towards the laboratory at the end of the hall, gesturing for Yeonjun to follow. 

He felt awkward trailing after the taller guy. This isn’t a part of his plan. All he wanted to do was; Go to the Medical Sciences Building, check if Soobin really had his classes at 9am _and_ if he really is studying medicine, probably stare at him for a bit and leave the building quietly, happy and content for seeing the taller for the day— _Not this_.

“Please wait for me here, hyung.” Soobin said as he opened the door to the laboratory. “I’ll be out in around five minutes or so..”

“Sure, take your time..”

Just as Soobin went inside the room, another class from another room had dismissed and a swarm of students filled the hallway. It was then when someone he knew greeted him.

“Yah! Choi Yeonjun, what are you doing here?” 

Park Jihoon, Yeonjun’s roommate. They’ve been living in the same room for 2 years yet he had forgotten that this annoying bed-neighbor was actually under medical sciences as well.

“Wah, I completely forgot that you’re in medical sciences.”

“That’s because all you had in that head of yours is either dance or being number one. So? How come _you’re_ here?” Jihoon quickly rummaged his backpack to check. “Did I forget my keys?! Am I gonna get sexiled?!”

“No! What the fuck? I’m here with a friend.”

“Hmm..” Jihoon eyed him warily as he brought out his ‘possibly forgotten’ keys “A friend? In this building? How come I never knew?”

“Hyung, we’re done.” Of course, Soobin just decided to appear at such a perfect timing. He noticed Jihoon by his side and greeted Jihoon. “Oh, hi, you must be the person Yeonjun hyung was looking for.”

“Wha-?” confused, Jihoon tried to reply but Yeonjun suddenly painfully grabbed his arm. Soobin just gave Yeonjun a way out of his current dilemma.

“Yes! Jihoon~ I came to tell you that you forgot your keys. Well there it is now!” Soobin might actually be Yeonjun’s lucky charm or something. He’s never been this lucky in his whole life. “He’s Park Jihoon, my roommate, he can be quite forgetful at times. Please excuse us for a minute, Soobin.”

“I did no-” Jihoon struggled as he was harshly pulled by Yeonjun to the sides leaving Soobin for a while.

“ _Please_ , just this once save me from making a fool of myself.”

Jihoon just stared at his begging face, “Fine… okay. BUT you _have_ to tell me what all this is later!”

“Yes, yes, okay?”

“Well there’s that.. _thank you_ , my dearest Yeonjun for being _kind enough to give me my keys_.” Exaggeratedly rattling the key on hand, Jihoon thanked him and both returned to where Soobin was. “It’s nice meeting you..?”

“Choi Soobin”

“Choi Soobin-ssi, good luck with Yeonjun. He’s a handful.” Jihoon placed his keys inside his bag and patted Soobin’s shoulders. “Take good care of him for me.”

“What? Jihoon-ah!” 

Yeonjun tried stopping Jihoon as he waved and left them. He gave one last wink in Yeonjun's direction before walking towards the building’s exit.

“Well, sorry about that. My roommate’s a bit embarrassing.”

“It’s okay, it’s cute. Guess you won’t be needing my help then?”

He saw how Soobin placed his manual inside his bag and tried to fix his things. The younger must’ve rushed his way outside to not keep Yeonjun waiting. Yeonjun felt guilty for bothering the younger with his selfish intentions once again. He must make it up to the Soobin somehow.

“Yeah.. sorry for bothering you.. Oh! I know. Do you still have any classes or plans after this?”

“Hmm this is actually my only class for the day, but since it ended early, I’m planning to have brunch before going to the library to study.”

“Aww, look at you being all responsible. Well, since I’m hungry, why not have brunch together? My treat!”

It’s a perfect opportunity to reciprocate Soobin’s kindness, as well as hang out with him more. It’s a win-win situation. Did Yeonjun already say that luck had been on his side since that kissing booth?

“No need for that, hyung. I could just join you if you want.”

“Nonsense. This rarely happens, might as well grab it, okay? My new dearest dongsaeng?”

“Sure, hyung” Soobin laughed, his cheeks gave off a rosy tint. He must’ve been shy. “If you insist.”

They started to talk more about themselves as they walked to the nearest university cafe. Yeonjun started to learn little things about the taller. None of these were Yeonjun’s plans, but if fate allows him to be with the person he’s infatuated with, why not make the most of the given opportunity?

It’s quite adorable, the way Soobin stuffed so much food on his mouth, his cheeks filled with food yet still had a bread queued up on his other hand. They chose a random cafe to have brunch in. To say that they ordered a lot of stuff would be an understatement. Both sat on a four-seater table and filled said table with food. It was a _feast_.

Yeonjun eats like he’s been starved for days and apparently, Soobin does too with the exception that Soobin ate more slowly compared to him. They both enjoyed munching on their food. Yeonjun felt so comfortable without getting judged by how he eats. How he wished he could eat with Soobin everyday. 

“So how come you were at the kissing booth?” Yeonjun broke the silence as he stared at the fries in the middle of the table, silently thinking if he could eat more.

“It’s really stupid.” Soobin pushed the fries towards him, probably seeing him almost glaring at it.

“You said that back then,” Yeonjun, finally decided to grab onto the fries. “But why, though?”

“It’s a long story…”

“I have time” Yeonjun insisted, eyes wide listening intently to the younger. Soobin sighed and decided to tell Yeonjun everything since they kissed and they’re now friends after all.

“Kai, another one of my dongsaengs, just asked for help,” Soobin shrugged, his cheeks red, avoiding the other’s gaze as Yeonjun’s mouth forms an ‘o’. Soobin continued his story, watching Yeonjun munch on some fries.

“I don’t know what stupid idea went to his head. It’s his first year yet he somehow ended up volunteering for the kissing booth. Then he suddenly came to us _begging_ for support. Beomgyu and Taehyun didn’t want to kiss Kai since, well, they’re in a relationship so _I_ was the only option.”

“I’m guessing you have feelings for Kai?”

“I- well, I’m not so sure.. I mean I always knew I had a soft spot for him.. and Beomgyu thought it was a good idea to help me realize my feelings for Kai. I guess I really wanted to clear it out by kissing him.”

“But then, I came and ruined everything.” Yeonjun pouted. Wow, he felt like such a jerk. “I’m sorry…”

“No, not like that or anything!” Soobin explained, waving his hand aimlessly through the air. “I was, and still am, confused about my feelings for him but I think it would’ve been awkward if we kissed in the booth. Besides, you really were a good kisser, so no regrets.”

The smirk on Soobin’s face had Yeonjun swooning. Honestly, this guy would be the death of him. Yeonjun kept having this warm feeling whenever he had all of Soobin’s attention. He suddenly regretted not looking for him the past years.

“I’m glad,” Yeonjun grinned back, trying to keep his composure. He lifted his legs up off the floor and crossed them on the chair. “I thought I was in the middle of your love story or something.”

Soobin just chuckled as he took a fry and watched Yeonjun stuff down another mouthful of fries.

“I think I should actually thank you,” Soobin said. “For— uh? For being there? For stopping the awkwardness between us? For something. I don’t know, I just feel like I should be thanking you.”

Yeonjun actually takes the few seconds to swallow down his food before speaking.

“For being a great kisser?” he laughed at how judging Soobin’s face looked. “Kidding aside, why thank me? I was just there to kiss you.” 

Yeonjun froze as he realized what just came out from his loud mouth. Thankfully it’s either Soobin didn’t notice, or that he chose to ignore the statement.

“Maybe. At least the experience isn’t as bad as I thought it could’ve been, I guess. But that’s over now, so...” Soobin stood up from his seat. “Would you want some ice cream?”

And Yeonjun looked at him like it’s obvious. “Is that even a question?”

“Okay, what flavor then?”

“Mint choco please.”

“Gross..”

“Hey! Don’t judge if you haven’t tasted it yet!” He glared at the taller. Yeonjun finally found something he didn’t like about Soobin. “Shoo..just go get those ice creams”

The taller laughed at Yeonjun as he went to the counter to get some ice creams. Yeonjun decided to pinch himself while the other was gone. This all might be a dream after all. Things don't usually go this smoothly. But, alas, it’s all happening and true.

Soobin returned to his seat holding two cones of ice cream. He chose chocolate for himself. _How basic._ It’s now one of Yeonjun’s life goals to force Soobin into loving Mint Choco.

“If you don’t have anyone to eat with next time, you should come join our table for lunch, hyung.” Soobin offered as he handed the ice cream to the older. “I had fun today and I’d really want to hang out with you more. There’s only four of us and I think you’ll easily blend in especially if you were able to stand Beomgyu for a year.”

And just like that, Choi Yeonjun was welcomed into Choi Soobin’s world. Yeonjun smiled as he got into his class for that day. 

_This year’s gonna be more exciting than how he thought it would be._


	2. Two Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin learns more about Yeonjun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back with the second chapter! If all goes well... expect an update every week and if I’m inspired, probably have 2 updates per week! This one would be in Soobin’s POV. 
> 
> Odd numbers are Yeonjun’s while even numbers are Soobin’s.

Choi Yeonjun was everywhere. By everywhere, Soobin meant _everywhere_. Ever since the kiss on that kissing booth, he had been seeing the famous senior around campus since his first day of classes. At first, he thought he was just seeing things but he couldn’t be mistaken.

He was walking silently towards his building when this guy, in black jeans, plain white shirt and black bucket hat came rushing past him. He only caught a glimpse of his face but Soobin was sure that it was Choi Yeonjun. 

Even before meeting at the booth, Soobin thought he’d seen him somewhere. Beomgyu mentioned once that Yeonjun was a third year Business major. Their buildings were far from the other yet somehow Soobin thought that the older was really familiar. Then again, Choi Yeonjun _is_ famous. He probably saw him in some university events, probably even in parties—even if he rarely attended any of them.

So even if the older was meters away from him, Soobin couldn’t be mistaken. It’s weird how he kept on seeing the older. Just the other day when he was walking around the dorms with Hueningkai, he caught a glimpse of the older again. Kai said that he’s probably just imagining things because he couldn’t get over the fact that _they kissed_ but it wasn’t _that_ at all.

Soobin decided to ignore the fact that he kept seeing the famous senior. Cause seeing him around didn’t mean he would even come across him or meet him ever again, right? _Wrong_.

_Of course he’s wrong_. Fate had always hated Soobin. When he received a message from Taehyun a few hours later, asking for help, he felt that it’s inevitable.

The request was pretty simple, Taehyun needed help to figure out where the dance club studios were. That’s basically it. Taehyun and Kai just got into the university, it’s understandable that the younger could still get lost especially since it’s been just a week since the start of the year and the campus is pretty big. 

Taehyun explained that he and Beomgyu haven’t been seeing each other lately, which was actually true—with the amount of Beomgyu’s whining messages piling up their group chat. Taehyun decided to give his boyfriend a small visit before his last class. As a nice hyung, he is very much willing to help Taehyun out.

This request however, led to Soobin meeting Choi Yeonjun yet again. It was only for a short period but this time, Yeonjun had introduced himself and initiated a small conversation with Soobin.

Now don’t get him wrong, Soobin didn’t hate Yeonjun or anything remotely close to that. It’s just that he didn’t know how to act around the other since their kiss in the booth. He felt somewhat embarrassed meeting him after their not-so-subtle kiss.

Well, lucky for him, Yeonjun isn’t as awkward as he is. He seemed cool in comparison to him. It’s as if the kiss never happened in the first place, which Soobin was absolutely grateful for. If he kept seeing Yeonjun, he didn’t want any awkwardness between them. The older seemed really nice and really approachable too. He wouldn’t mind being friends with him. 

Meeting Yeonjun really was unavoidable. Because a week after _officially_ meeting him, he once again saw the senior—this time inside his department building. It was pretty easy to spot non-medical students especially in the laboratory halls. He just got back from the professor’s faculty bringing some of their class’s manuals when he saw Yeonjun. Yeonjun looked so out of place that he looked so cute. Oh had he forgotten to mention that Choi Yeonjun was really cute? 

Soobin didn’t know how to approach the older, so he decided to just ‘accidentally’ bump into him. 

“Oh, sorry about that,” Yeonjun said, falling backwards a few steps from the small impact.

“No, that was my fau—oh, hey,” Soobin greeted sheepishly, the older looked so startled he felt a bit guilty.

“Hey… hi, Soobin? Beomgyu’s friend, right? I never really got your name.” 

Now that Soobin thought about it, he never really introduced himself. Was he really that awkward? Soobin wanted to facepalm so bad but the books he’s carrying wouldn’t let him.

“Yeah, Soobin. And you’re, Yeonjun-ssi?” he said more than ask, if he kept bumping into Yeonjun most of the time, might as well be on friendly terms.

Turns out, Yeonjun was looking for his roommate who forgot his keys. It’s quite cute seeing them interact. Soobin never got a roommate. He was _supposed_ to room with Beomgyu but Beomgyu and his rich ass decided that they could use extra privacy and not ruin their good relationship. 

_I’m not really good with household chores and I don’t really want you nagging at me for not cleaning._ Beomgyu had reasoned. He wasn’t very fond of rooming with a complete stranger either. Luckily, Soobin’s parents were fine with paying a bit extra for his room.

Yeonjun was actually nice enough to treat him some brunch even if Soobin wasn’t that much of help to the other. He was shy at first, but who would say no to a free meal? All he had to do was study alone for the rest of the day and he planned on eating, anyway. 

They chatted a lot as they walked and he realized that Yeonjun was actually comfortable to be with. He’s the type of person who wouldn’t let a single moment die. He could easily open up a topic or start a conversation without it being awkward yet he also isn’t too forward either. 

He finally understood why he was popular among others. Not just because of his talent—which Soobin still hasn’t seen yet, but also because he’s easy to get along with. Soobin wasn’t the type of person who could easily warm up to someone but with Yeonjun, he felt at ease. Let’s just say after that encounter with Choi Yeonjun, they became close enough to be friends.

  
  


On the contrary, Soobin has been seeing less of Hueningkai since the start of the year. As a freshman, he wasn’t expecting the younger to be this busy but Taehyun was going through it as well. He himself found it a bit hard to adjust in his first year of university. Since Kai had been busy with too many projects on his hands and with Soobin always trying to study in advance, they rarely saw each other. 

Kai is under the music department and he’s currently having problems with composing. So when he called and asked for help at ass o’clock, Soobin didn’t hesitate to help him. Even if Soobin loved sleeping in, he couldn’t help but be concerned for the younger. It’s a chance to see how his dongsaeng was doing.

The library was actually a good place to be at odd hours in the morning. Especially if it’s still early into the year, where there were no last-minute term papers and cramming students with their tears and energy drinks. He considered himself one of those who avoided cramming and responsible enough to finish his work on time. 

Soobin, being a regular in the library, had gotten a few privileges. Like how the librarian easily helped him get the books he needed. After scanning the bookshelves and getting all the books he wanted to study, he finally sat at one of the tables near the entrance with music quietly playing from his earbuds. 

He then read silently, waiting for the younger to appear. After reading a few pages, Soobin scanned the place and saw Yeonjun on one of the tables in front of him, absolutely concentrated with his book as he wrote on multiple scratches. He silently observed the other. Yeonjun, with his brows connected, a pout on his lips and an annoyed face, kept scribbling on his paper. It’s adorable how the older started to sigh and tilt his head whenever he’s not satisfied with whatever he’s doing. Soobin muffled a laugh as Yeonjun leaned on his chair and grabbed his hair in frustration.

Soobin doesn’t notice when the chairs beside him were pulled, so when Kai suddenly leaned on his shoulder, he’s more than surprised he didn’t notice him coming. 

“Ugh.” Kai whined against his shoulder. “It’s so frustrating.”

“Shhh… keep quiet. I can’t believe you had to call me so early in the morning to help you find this.” He grumbled as he pulled the other book from the desk. “Here’s the book you need.”

“You’re the best, Binnie Hyung!” Kai whispered loudly, grabbing the book with a smile, and then pulled Soobin into a hug.

"Yes, yes, I’m the best." Anyone else, Soobin wouldn’t even bother waking up early on a day where he didn’t have any classes but it was Hyuka, so he lets the younger hug him just for a while before deciding to shove him off. The younger continued lying on his shoulder as Soobin finally continued scanning his book.

He turned back towards where Yeonjun was, only because it’s hard to look away from him. He then caught Yeonjun staring back at him.

There’s something unreadable in Yeonjun’s gaze as he stared at the two of them, something very close to longing and something else he can't put his finger on. He must’ve noticed Soobin staring back since he snapped out of his gaze and smiled—somewhat bittersweet, towards Soobin. He returned the smile as a greeting and went back focusing on his book and maybe helping out Kai with his search. He wanted to approach him but the Yeonjun seemed busy on his own as well.

Just barely a second later, another boy joined them, a huge smile plastered on his face. 

“Hey you’re studying early!” Beomgyu skipped towards them. “Can you help me with my work? Hyunnie’s being rude again.”

“By _rude_ , he meant disagreeing with his demands of finishing his work for him. Then yes, I’m being rude.” Taehyun joined them on the table.

Hyuka removed his head from Soobin’s shoulders to greet the others, the warmth leaving Soobin’s side in an instant. 

Soobin sent an apologetic grimace towards the librarian. Thankfully, the librarian was used to Beomgyu’s loud voice. It was still a bit too early for students to be inside the library, if not, Soobin was pretty sure Beomgyu would get another earful from the librarian.

“I don’t know how many times I had to remind you but this is a library, Choi Beomgyu.” Soobin warned. “I swear I won’t be surprised if your face gets posted by the entrance and you’ll be banned here until you graduate.” 

Embarrassed, Beomgyu finally shut his mouth as he brought out the things he needed. Taehyun shaking his head, also trying to set up his study space.

It was quiet for a few hours. Kai took some notes for his compositions, Taehyun encouraged his boyfriend to do his own work while Beomgyu still tried to persuade Taehyun to finish his work for him and Soobin, who finally finished a chapter of next week’s lessons. Yeonjun, on the other side of the room, was still silently working on his own but he seemed less frustrated than before. 

Beomgyu noticed him staring at a distance and followed his line of vision. 

“Oh, I can’t believe Yeonjun hyung’s here too!” Beomgyu whispered, albeit still a bit too loud. “I mean it’s not a shocker but hyung is trying a bit too hard.”

“Trying too hard?” Soobin couldn’t help but ask. Yeonjun had been there even before he arrived and that’s actually saying something.

“Yeonjun hyung’s a dean’s lister! He’s always number one in everything! He’s such a hard worker yet he’s still naturally good at everything too. I guess he needed to live up to his figure. Even in dancing, he’s absolutely great yet he’s always not satisfied with what he could do. Speaking of dance, Hyunnie, can you pick me up this weekend, after our dance practice?” Beomgyu turned towards Taehyun. “It’s going to be a short practice because the freshmen have some orientation dance set thing they had to do.”

“Sure.” Taehyun shrugged. He probably didn’t have anything better to do. He then turned to Soobin. “Could you help me again, hyung? I’m still not used to the whole university, I don’t want to waste my time searching for the building.”

“Yeah, of course.” Soobin agreed, still processing everything that Beomgyu said. Grateful, Taehyun smiled at the older as he once again faced his boyfriend.

“Should I bring you some coffee after?”

“You’re the best!”

A few hours later, everyone had left for their classes, leaving Soobin alone once again. Seeing that the older was still around, he decided to finally approach him.

“That must be really hard,” Soobin said as he leaned towards Yeonjun, who in return was startled. “I mean you’ve been working at it for hours.”

“Hello to you too Soobin. Please stop giving me heart attacks.”

Soobin shrugged. “You saw me earlier, hyung.”

Yeonjun just gave him a tired face. “To answer your question, yes, it's quite hard since it wasn’t even taught to us yet.”

Impressed, Soobin sat beside him, scanning at the papers on the table. “And I thought _I_ was too advanced with studying.”

“I don’t really have a choice, I mean, I wanna focus on the dance competition in the future and I don’t really want to fail any of my classes. It’s best for me to study in advance, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t know you’re this hard working, hyung.”

“Then spend more time with me to know more.”

It is not unusual anymore to hang out with Yeonjun like this, most preferably not in a library setting, but it’s close and convenient nonetheless. He’s glad that Yeonjun filled up his library days because studying alone—even if he’s used to it— can get really boring, Soobin may be studious, practically an introvert, but he’s still human. Having someone study with him is quite a motivation.

Later on that weekend, Soobin and Taehyun had once again visited the dance studio.

Beomgyu was laying on the floor when they walked in, Taehyun bringing the caramel latte Beomgyu always drinks in his hand.

“Is it okay to come in?” Taehyun asked as he peeked his head in.

“Yeah it’s fine, it’s just me and Yeonjun hyung. Tell Soobin hyung to come in as well.”

Soobin silently sat down against the wall beside the couple. Taehyun decided to join his boyfriend on the floor placing the drink by Soobin’s side. Yeonjun was the only one still in the room practicing so he decided to watch him instead, he felt like puking at the couple if he gave Taehyun and Beomgyu any attention.

To say that Yeonjun is good in dancing, was an underestimation of his skills. Soobin thought he saw him focused before, but _this_ was what Yeonjun really looked like focused. There were no unnecessary movements made, every step was attuned to the beat. Every move spoke to the observer’s soul and Soobin couldn’t keep his eyes off. 

“He’s really good isn’t he?” Beomgyu asked with a small smirk on his face, noticing the way Soobin watched Yeonjun.

“You guys better hurry up. We need to head back to the dorms.” He prodded at the couple still laying on the floor.

“I’m just going to get changed first.” Beomgyu rolled towards his bag and before loudly complaining about his sweaty shirt and how tired he is. “Help me change, Taehyun-ah!”

He rolled his eyes at the couple’s antics as Taehyun wiped Beomgyu’s sweaty face and pushed him towards the changing room. 

He wished that Beomgyu and Taehyun would hurry up because it’s so damn awkward now that it’s just the two of them. Soobin still watched Yeonjun as he continued dancing but the elder suddenly decided to stop and turn off the music. He probably felt tired since his face was fully red.

“Hi again, Yeonjun hyung.” Soobin greeted quietly, almost shyly. 

"You too, Soobin-ah." He tried for a smile but it probably turned out like a tired grimace. Despite that, Yeonjun tried his best to smile back anyways, eyes pressed into cute crescents. "I guess Taehyun is still not used to the campus?" 

"Yeah." He answered dumbly despite being nervous with how Yeonjun sat beside him, being so close he can actually _smell_ Yeonjun’s perfume. He couldn’t help but notice how Yeonjun smelled nice and fresh despite being sweaty.

“Is it okay if I lean on your shoulder?” his hyung asked so adorably, it’s pretty hard to say no. “I’m sorry if I’m a bit sweaty-I just feel so tired and-”

“It’s okay, hyung.” Soobin reassured him, offering his shoulder. 

It was silent for a while, only Yeonjun’s breath could be heard. Soobin decided to break the silence and ask. “Are you always the last ones left?”

“No.. sometimes it’s Jimin hyung but hyung’s quite busy with his major right now. He usually comes by every morning or late at midnight, though. He has his own keys.”

“It must be hard, huh?”

“Maybe...” Yeonjun answered, he can feel the other smiling against his shoulder. “But it’s also fun.”

“I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying yourself hyung”

“I’m actually dancing for a reason you know?”

“Really?” Soobin couldn’t help himself but be curious as he tried his best to face the other. “And why is that?”

“Okay! We’re almost done!” A shout was heard from the other side, signalling that Beomgyu’s done. “We can _finally_ leave now.”

“I guess I have to change and leave too” Yeonjun removed his head from Soobin’s shoulder and stood as he waved at him cutely, "See you around."

"Your dancing is really great, hyung." 

He didn't know where it came from but the words were already out of his mouth before he even realized it. 

Yeonjun's eyes widened and his full cheeks up to his neck, turned pink at that. It was so adorable.

"Thank you," Yeonjun softly said, slipping out of the room as Soobin gazed at the retreating figure.

“What did you do Yeonjun hyung?” Beomgyu asked once he returned to the studio. “He looked like a tomato.”

He huffed in return. “I didn’t do anything to him. I guess he was pretty tired from all that dancing.”

Beomgyu picked up the coffee Taehyun bought for him and headed towards the door. “I think hyung likes you, as in _likes_ you, y’know?”

Soobin spluttered. “What?”

“Yeah,” Beomgyu shrugged. “He’s asked about you before, you should have seen his face when I mentioned your name, it lit up and turned so red. He spent practically the rest of the practice asking about you. I think he likes you.”

“I don’t think so… he’s probably just shy because well we kissed, you know?” he himself, can’t help but blush whenever he even merely thought about the incident. 

“You're practically blushing. Are you crushing on him too?” Beomgyu scoffed. “I can’t believe I haven’t introduced you guys sooner, it would probably help you and your single ass! Having double dates would actually be so cute! Don’t you think so Hyunnie?”

“Save your double dating fantasies to yourself, Beomgyu.” He waved it away. “Let’s just get your asses home, I still have some work to do.”

Beomgyu grumbled and muttered to himself, nevertheless he followed Soobin out. 

Soobin decided to walk ahead since he didn’t want to third wheel, leaving the couple a few steps behind him. They were finally walking towards their dorms when he heard Beomgyu chattering, yet again. 

“Soobin kept denying but I think he’s crushing on not only Kai but Yeonjun hyung as well. And _I_ am always right!” 

“I can hear you, Choi Beomgyu.”

“Well good! Cause I want you to actually hear everything I’m saying!” Soobin couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Beomgyu continued, “Does Yeonjun hyung know _why_ you were in line for the booth in the first place?”

“Yes, he knows since _we’re friends_ , Beomgyu. I don’t know what you’re trying to imply. You keep on pointing out who I’m crushing on when I actually don’t think that way and it’s honestly confusing me.”

“Well we’re just curious hyung…” Taehyun defended his boyfriend, “You might keep your feelings well hidden but sometimes your actions actually speak louder.”

“And we’re just asking!” Beomgyu retaliated, “Yeonjun hyung is pretty popular to _both men and women_. It’s not bad to have a crush on him! It’s not like you love him or something.”

Beomgyu just didn’t know when to shut up. He endured all of Beomgyu’s teasing but this is getting really annoying.

“Soobin hyung has _two crushes_ ~” Beomgyu teasingly sang, “Who do you think will win Soobin hyung’s hidden heart of gold, Hyunnie? Will it be the popular cute hyung or the adorable favorite dongsaeng?”

Soobin couldn’t believe how annoying Beomgyu could be. The younger loved playing as his personal wingman. Sure he’s been around Yeonjun a lot. It’s only because he saw him everywhere. It would be rude not to greet him especially now that they’re friends. Spending time with him didn’t mean anything. He simply enjoyed the company of his new friend. He might have observed him a few times too, but it doesn’t mean that he’s crushing on him… right?

_Why is understanding feelings hard?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first two chapters were more descriptive and narratives, since I wanted to describe what Yeonjun thought of Soobin and vice versa. I hope it wasn’t too boring. Btw.. I may have forgotten to warn u guys (but it’s literally in the tags) that this fic would be really really cliche 😂 Like really… so expect those happening in the next updates… 😅
> 
> Anyways, thank you for those who came at me on twt just to say u liked my works 🥺 it actually means a lot to me. Thank you for reading and appreciating my nonsense 😅🙈


	3. Three Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun meets Soobin’s friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually took awhile for me to write...

“ _Yah!_ It’s 5:30am! I have no classes today, please let me sleep!” Jihoon complained, hiding under his covers. He couldn’t get back to sleep with all the lights on. He kept twisting and turning, he soon gave up and glared at his inconsiderate roommate, “Why are you always leaving so early, anyways? Dance competition won’t even start until the end of prelim exams.”

Ignoring his roommate's complaints, he kept staring at the mirror. Yeonjun couldn’t decide on what he should wear, will his leather jacket be fine or if he should just wear his white fluffy jacket or maybe just a regular black hoodie? He’s been rummaging his drawers searching for a good couple of minutes—even if he had loads of great clothes. He wanted to look cute and cool but not too over the top. They’re just gonna study together for fuck’s sake. It’s not like he’s going on a date anyway. He’s been studying in advance the past couple of days as he didn’t want to repeat what happened last year, where he took all nighters and crammed his way into passing his exams. It just so happened that Soobin was too, since they kept seeing each other in the library. And no, it’s not planned at all, not this time — he _swears_. He always arrived before Soobin did, the library had too many floors too. He still believed that this year, fate just really loves him.

“Oh sorry… but I need to see if I look fine or just plain hideous.” Yeonjun did not sound sorry about it at all. He checked the mirror once more, removing the fluffy white jacket and decided to wear the leather jacket instead, “I’m actually planning to drop by the convenience store first before heading for the library..”

“Library? But… it won’t open ‘till 6am? What are you the librarian or something?”

“Well I wanted to get a good table and- why am I even trying to explain myself? What are you, my mother?” He grabbed his backpack and did a last minute outfit check _again_. “Does this look okay?”

“Dressing up for the library?” Jihoon raised his brows and sat up from his bed to check the outfit Yeonjun was wearing. “Hmmm… are you sure you’re just gonna study? Or are you-”

“Please stop talking if you’re not even gonna help. And yes, I already know what you’re thinking. Yes, I’ll meet up with Soobin. He’s preparing for his presentation due in three days.”

“Ohhhhh~ and you’re gonna be there because….?” 

For a sleepy person, Park Jihoon sure has way too many questions. Grumbling beneath his breath as he searched for his phone, Yeonjun stared at his annoying bed neighbor.

“Because he offered that we go study together since we kept meeting each other in the library. Does that satisfy you, oh so nosy Jihoon?”

“Ah, responsible student I see, good for you. You have good taste,” disregarded Yeonjun’s comment and tucked himself in, ready to go back to his slumber. “Please don’t distract him too much. I remembered having a hard time in presentations.”

“Excuse you! I do not disturb him. When he focuses on his work, he wouldn’t even bat an eye, you really should meet again and learn from him… No, on the second thought, I don’t want you to meet him at all.”

“Scared that I might steal your man?”

“First of all, he’s not my man...,” _yet_ Yeonjun hoped, he found his phone underneath all his covers, finally ready to leave at once. “AND second, if I were you I wouldn’t dare, you’ll probably scare him away. Besides, I just want us to be _friends_.”

“Wow, _I’m_ _scary_ , how about you, oh great almighty Choi Yeonjun? I wouldn’t even want to, anyways. I have my eyes on someone already so don’t worry. Plus _friends_? Keep lying’ to yourself, hun.”

Choosing to ignore the statement. He was finally _really_ going out but Yeonjun didn’t want Jihoon winning this morning’s bicker fest. 

“Yeah better fess up soon before Guanlin.. wait, who was it again? Is it Guanlin or Woojin?”

“I hate you, I’ll go back to sleep. Close the lights and don’t forget to lock the door, loser.”

—————

“Why do you always have a lot of books with you? Do you even read them all?”

Yeonjun couldn't help but be amazed by the number of books Soobin was using for his presentation.

“Well, I use some books as backups if I feel like the ones written in the reference book isn’t enough. Some books are easier to understand than the others too. I have all of them to compare and—okay I’m babbling.”

“What a nerd.” Yeonjun laughed at the younger’s pissed expression 

“You just don’t get it, hyung.”

Routines. A sequence of actions regularly followed. At least, that’s what the dictionary says. Yeonjun isn’t sure if he had any daily routines but recently, he seemed to be following a certain one. Just as Jihoon mentioned, he’s been waking up really early to go study in the library… Since he enrolled really early, he was lucky enough to set his own class schedules. He used this wisely to be able to balance his dancing with his academics. 

He first saw Soobin in the library at the start of the week, just as he planned to start his advance lessons. He had been going to the library everyday after that. Of course, Soobin wasn’t at the library everyday and that wasn’t his main goal for going, anyway. But his younger angel of a crush decided to become the devil this time and chose to distract him every time he went to the library. Soobin wasn’t really doing anything, but the fact that he was _there,_ very much present and very much near him, has Yeonjun’s senses on haywire. Nevertheless, he wasn’t complaining, this might be a blessing in disguise. If Yeonjun actually studied and not stare at the younger most of the time.

He just couldn’t help himself, Soobin looked so pleasant and peaceful as he tried to focus, add the fact that he brings a bunch of books, looking lanky but appeared to actually be strong. Yeonjun couldn't help but be drawn to him.

“Anyways, how’s that presentation going?”

“I don’t know, hyung.” Soobin sighed at his laptop, Yeonjun saw him struggling with it for the past few hours, opening a lot of books and scanning through them, “I mean, I already thought of how to present and discuss everything but I’m just not satisfied with it as a whole.”

The younger looked tired and done, Yeonjun should stop him from stressing out, he probably just needed some gasoline to keep his brain-machine working. 

“You know what you need? Food. You’ve been working for four hours now, we haven’t eaten anything except for that cheap canned coffee from the store and I can already see Hyun-ssi glaring at me for talking. He might kick me out and I’m dragging you with me.”

—————

  
  


The university main cafeteria wasn’t as packed as Yeonjun thought it would be. Usually, Yeonjun would head straight back to the dorms and cook for himself than line up for the cafeteria. Then again, it’s only quarter to 11am, most students probably still had their classes. They chose to sit on a bigger table since Soobin decided to bring the mountain of books he got in the library, to have more space.

“You sure are working a lot for that presentation. Jihoon told me that it’s quite difficult to pass that class.”

“Yeah, I mean Bacteriology is quite complex. You have to search thoroughly for information and causes and all that. Even if I want to explain, you probably wouldn’t want me babbling.”

“Why did you want to be a doctor anyways?”

Soobin shrugged as he continued chewing his meal. Yeonjun waited for the younger to speak as he too ate his food.

“When I was younger, I used to fall down a lot, then my hyung and noona would carry me to the nearby clinic to clean up my wound. A lot of kids are usually scared of doctors but I thought they’re really cool. They could easily tell what’s the problem and help you feel better. They stopped my wound from bleeding and they gave me candy afterwards.”

Soobin smiled as he shared his childhood memories, Yeonjun found it really endearing. Soobin’s face lit up as he continued his story, “Well, that was the start, but growing up, I met Kai, and if I was clumsy, I think he was more. Then one day when I was ten and he was eight, I just gave him a band aid to cover his paper cut and nagged at him to be careful next time. Out of nowhere he told me, ‘Wow, hyung, you should be a doctor someday.’ And I guess it just kinda stuck on my head.”

Yeonjun couldn’t help the small ache in his chest as he heard the story. Soobin looked really happy reliving his childhood memories, nevertheless it’s cute, like how romantic movies usually go. “Aww~ that’s cute. Kai… is the kissing booth guy? You guys go way back, huh?”

“Yeah, he and I were really young when we first met. Most people call us gums cause we usually stick to one another.”

There’s it again, the ache in his chest, Yeonjun had been feeling this ache whenever he’s around the taller guy, but this time, it didn’t feel good. He continued playing with his food, he lost his appetite somewhere between their talk. As he drifted off, mind going elsewhere, he didn’t notice that Soobin just asked him a question.

“Huh? What? Sorry… I kinda zoned out.”

The younger laughed, unbothered, “It’s okay, hyung, I was just asking, why did you take business?”

“Ah… well, it’s not my first choice per se. My parents are all in the field of business, you see…” Soobin focused on what he was telling that he couldn’t help but feel shy as his choice was not as cute as Soobin’s. 

“And I actually just wanted to dance when I was younger. Of course, I know that you just couldn’t live well with dancing, I chose to be practical, so I took business as my major and dance as my minor. ” Soobin smiled throughout and urged for Yeonjun to continue, “My dad told me that if I did well in college, he’s gonna help me find my own studio and build a name for myself, where I can build my own choreographies and teach others to dance. I would love to see other people share the same passion that I have, just like what we have in the dance club. I thought I could learn from business and use it as a tool to enjoy my passion and make a living out of it. It’s why I’m working really hard on my grades and all that…”

Honestly, Yeonjun hasn’t really thought about his major. He just thought that it would be a good course to take. He kinda felt embarrassed now that he shared it yet Soobin thought otherwise.

“That’s really amazing, hyung. It’s so inspiring to see you live your passion yet still stay practical. A lot of people tend to forget about practicality and some choose to forget their dreams. I hope one day, you’ll reach your goals.”

Soobin looked fascinated with his mediocre story, Yeonjun thought his story was boring compared to his. He couldn’t help but feel swayed with what the younger had said. He wanted to thank the younger when another person suddenly invaded their warm conversation.

“Hyung! Thank goodness you’re here! I have-” said person, embraced Soobin from behind, shocking the taller, before he decided to face Yeonjun and sat beside Soobin at their table, “Oh, hi! I’m sorry~”

Now that he could finally see the new person’s face clearly, he recognized who he was. It’s Kai, the kissing booth guy, Soobin’s childhood friend, the one who inspired him to be a doctor. Soobin’s ‘I-don’t-think-I-like-him-but-maybe-I-like-him’ guy. 

“Hyung, you’ve met Kai before, he’s that stupid kissing booth volunteer.”

The youngest out of the three looked displeased by Soobin’s slander. His face could be easily read and Yeonjun found it really amusing. The two chose to continue their banter; 

“Hey! Yeonjun-ssi also volunteered for the booth!”

“Yeah but atleast hyung was considerate enough to save your sorry ass.”

“Well, thank him then because if he didn’t happen to appear, I’ll be kissing you too! Eughh, gross! It’s like kissing my sister.”

Yeonjun noticed how the emotion from Soobin’s eyes changed. He was fond but with what Kai said, it turned sad. Yeonjun’s starting to feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah, cause I bet you’re a terrible kisser.”

“Anyways, before Soobin hyung rudely attacked me out of nowhere,” Kai ignored Soobin’s retort as he properly introduced himself, “Hi Yeonjun-ssi~ I’m Hueningkai, you can call me Kai or Hyuka or Ningning— since it’s cute and I’m cute.”

Hueningkai or Kai—Yeonjun doesn’t know what to call him yet, really is cute, really loud and really shameless. Yeonjun couldn’t help but chuckle at the younger’s introduction. “I’m Choi Yeonjun, you probably heard about me from Soobin and Beomgyu, you could just call me hyung.”

Kai’s eyes widened in surprise and he gaped at him with his mouth wide open like some fish. “Really? Nice to meet you Yeonjun hyung!”

He bit back a laugh, knowing Soobin could take it in the wrong way but Hueningkai was just really amusing. Like some sort of bursting energy and somehow, Yeonjun felt a bit bitter about it.

“What were you doing anyway and why did you attack my poor back?” Soobin asked softly, gaining back Kai’s attention. Yeonjun could see how concerned Soobin’s eyes looked as he talked to the younger.

“Oh, just nothing, just happy I get to see you again, I guess?”

“You know you could tell me if you’re having problems right?” Soobin turned in his chair to face him, it’s as if Kai’s answer didn’t sit well with him, “First year can be exhausting sometimes but it isn’t bad to take a break once in a while, Ning.”

“Stop being a worry-wart, hyung! I can do this!” He replied simply.

Soobin rolled his eyes before turning back to his meal. “You know as well as I do, that not worrying isn’t possible.”

“Hyung, I can take care of myself, please.” He waves a hand at Soobin’s direction. “You're making Yeonjun hyung think that I’m such a baby.”

“Well aren’t you?”

And just like that, Yeonjun felt like he’s nothing. He might be exaggerating but he didn’t know what stinged more, the fact that he felt so out of place between the two or the way Soobin seemed to forget that he existed for Hueningkai’s sake. He once again remembered the longing feeling that he felt as he stared at the two back then when he first saw Soobin in the library. He chose to just stay quiet in his seat and continued playing with his meal.

“Is this real?! Or are my eyes betraying me?” 

“Why do you always have to be dramatic, hyung.”

“Because I can, Hyunnie~”

Fortunately, Beomgyu and Taehyun decided to come at the right moment, stopping the awkwardness that Yeonjun was feeling. The other two decided to welcome themselves to the table as well. Taehyun smiled as greeting while Beomgyu just decided to continue talking, “How come the great Choi Yeonjun chose to be here anyway?”

“What do you mean?” Soobin looked confused at what Beomgyu’s trying to imply. 

“Yeonjun hyung doesn’t hangout with mere mortals. He’s usually at the dance studio or eating in his dorm.”

“You make me sound like a loner.” Yeonjun huffed, well it’s sort of true, but it wasn’t that bad!

“Well, you aren’t _a loner_ but you usually focus on, quote unquote, important stuff.” Beomgyu continued, “There are only five places where the great Choi Yeonjun is seen. His classes, the dance studio, his dorm, at parties and school events. Cafeteria at lunch time? Never.”

“Wow, Yeonjun hyung’s like a celebrity.” Hueningkai mused, “I feel so lucky to be near him. Please consider me as a friend.”

“You should! Yeonjun hyung isn’t seen regularly,” Beomgyu countered. “I made sure Yeonjun hyung would never forget me once he got super famous. I’m glad he and Soobin hyung kissed in that booth! I thought Taehyunie being here would be the best thing to ever happen- I mean it is, but now it’s even more fun cause we have the ultimate group of all!”

Yeonjun couldn’t believe what Beomgyu’s mouth is spouting. He felt extremely shy in front of Soobin’s friends now. Taehyun on the other hand, just chose to eat silently beside his boyfriend. Yeonjun guessed that he isn’t that much of a talker unless it involved Beomgyu. Only Kai entertained what Beomgyu’s saying, the rest of the group didn’t seem to mind or chose to ignore Beomgyu, so for that Yeonjun was grateful.

“And you finally meet my chaotic group of friends, hyung.” Soobin sighed as he faced him, “I’d love to welcome you, but I’m sorry for the inconvenience because you’re probably going to encounter them more soon.”

“It’s fine,” Yeonjun has met loads of people but this group seemed to be the most amusing one of all. “I mean Beomgyu’s probably the worst, I guess I could stand him.”

“Hey! Because of that you’re not invited to our weekend movie night later!”

“Oh yeah, the movie night. Hyung, we usually have weekend movie nights since we don’t usually have classes on Sundays. If you’re not busy later, you could join us if you want.” 

Soobin invited him for weekend movies. This is the third time that Soobin willingly welcomed Yeonjun in his life, in his group, is this a sign?

“That would be fun!” Kai exclaimed, probably excited that there’s someone added to their small group.

“Well, the more the merrier.” Taehyun had also agreed.

“I just said he wasn’t invited and you all chose to ignore me? This disrespe-” Taehyun finally put a stop to Beomgyu’s babbling mouth by feeding him, finally.

They continued chattering, eating, sharing their plans, what movies to watch and all that. Soobin glanced at his phone, checking the time.

“Hyung,” Soobin called over from his seat. “Don’t you have class?”

He glanced quickly in his phone. 

_12:50_

“Dang it. Thanks for reminding me, Soobinie.” He quickly grabbed his bag that he’d thrown haphazardly on the table. The sudden nickname didn’t go unnoticed by the others. “Bye guys, text me what time we all meet for movie night, Gyu.”

He heard Beomgyu laughing at him as he raced out the door. Nevertheless, Yeonjun felt light once again and smiled for the rest of the day.

—————

  
  


The hangout actually ended up happening in Soobin’s dorm. Beomgyu texted him the details as soon as his classes were done. He packed up some necessities and went to Soobin’s dorm.

As soon as Yeonjun arrived, everyone was already settled in the mini living room. Pillows were placed as well as some folded blankets. Apparently, they ordered some dinner probably because they couldn’t cook something other than ramen without burning down the dorm room. By dinner that meant pizzas and loads of junk food.

It's adorable, just like every sleepover. 

“Your dorm looks way bigger than mine.” Beomgyu made a face. Yeonjun would actually agree, it’s a bit unfair. He probably would’ve asked for a single room too if he knew it would be this big. “Mine is probably a third of yours.”

Both Taehyun and Hueningkai snort.

“Oh please.” Hueningkai rolled his eyes. “We’ve all probably seen your dorm, hyung. If you actually cleaned up and organized your things, it’d be a lot bigger. I mean you’ve been staying there for a year, why do you still have boxes?”

“My Hyunie, Hyuka’s bullying me,” Beomgyu pleaded. “you’re my only savior!”

“I can’t, babe.” Taehyun laughed. “I’ve seen all your dirt and filth.”

“Bullies! Each and every single one of you.” The rest of them laughed as Beomgyu dramatically lied on the couch and continued whining.

Taehyun and Hueningkai began to chat as all of them gathered in the living area.

Yeonjun pulled his eyes away from the trio and turned to Beomgyu. “Stop hoarding the couch and let us sit. The pizza will probably take a while, let’s watch a movie while waiting.”

“What should we watch for a while then?” Beomgyu asked.

“How about something scary?” Taehyun grinned. “Movie night wouldn't be fun if we don’t watch horror.”

“I think so too.” Yeonjun laughed. “I don’t really enjoy watching it alone but I’m fine if we’re a group of people.”

“I don’t want to watch people getting eaten up or killed.” Hueningkai leaned over to smack Taehyun’s leg. "It's a little masochistic." 

“Let’s watch now!” Taehyun said with a smirk. “This way you guys would know if you’re wimpy like Beomie.”

Despite Beomgyu’s protests and Kai’s weak attempts, Soobin connected his laptop to the tv and Taehyun chose the movie. The couch for 3 becomes a couch for 5 as Beomgyu sat on Taehyun’s lap and Beomgyu somehow manhandled Yeonjun onto the couch. It goes; Beomgyu and Taehyun, Hyuka, Soobin and him. He can't help but focus on Soobin’s thigh pressed against his and how warm his side felt. 

The movie soon started, he hardly remembered the flow of the story and barely understood it. He automatically turned his head away when the scary part began and he saw Kai with his head buried in Soobin’s shoulder. Soobin’s hand rests on Kai’s head, gently carding through the strands of his brown hair. He forced his eyes away and back towards the television, feeling like he intruded a private moment. He’s glad that Taehyun and Beomgyu were both too focused on the movie to notice. Beomgyu more of hiding in Taehyun’s neck as well.

Yeonjun suddenly felt like he’s fifth-wheeling. He stood up from his seat and muttered excuses of checking and getting more snacks before anyone could question his sudden leave. He sees the way Kai was curled into Soobin as he gave Kai’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He tried to pretend he didn't see the half confused, half concerned look Soobin gave him as he fled the area.

Hueningkai also used that as an excuse and ran to the kitchen. Kai teased him about being a scaredy cat too as they rummaged through Soobin's kitchen. 

“I wanna thank you, hyung.” Kai said out of nowhere.

“For what?”

“Ever since you started to hang out with Soobin hyung, he looks happier.”

Yeonjun wanted to scoff, they’ve only been hanging out for a few weeks. He wouldn’t think that was enough of an impact on Soobin—even though this was the case for Yeonjun himself, besides he’s pretty sure Kai’s been keeping him happy. He doesn’t want to assume.

“I don’t really know if that’s true..”

“Well it is, better believe it hyung. I can see it, trust me.”

_But he likes you… and I don’t know if I’ll ever have a chance or not._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part is clapped! I’m sorry~ I'm slowly trying to build up the plot here…  
> I’m not sure if I should post next chapter teasers on my endnotes or just post them on my twt…  
> Anyways I’m currently trying to work on another domestic drabble series too 😂 so I take back the double update a week 😅 sorry but I’ll try my best to work on this as fast as I could~


	4. Four Friends, One Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin thinks Yeonjun fits well in his circle of friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually writing and editing this chapter when the Eternally MV went out

Three hours of lecture definitely killed Soobin’s brain and soul. He never felt so relieved walking out of the room. When he stepped out of the doors of their air-conditioned building and out into the campus, the late afternoon air was a lot warmer than what Soobin would have expected. The garden near in front of their building, that’s just right beside the psych department, was littered with way too many students who obviously preferred to spend their breaks outside with nature. 

Soobin felt disappointment since he had never been a fan of crowded areas. A part of him had hoped that for once he'd be able to escape and go back to his dorm room. But after receiving Yeonjun's text message about meeting in the gardens, he couldn’t find himself refusing his hyung.

A sudden question from the person beside him pulled him out of his thoughts.

"So you're saying we don't have to present ‘till tomorrow!?" Daewhi's voice was laced with more than just disbelief. "The heck!? Why did no one bother to tell me? Even my partner knew!”

Soobin resisted mentioning the fact that their professor had reminded them of their deadline at least twice during their last few classes. But Daehwi was starting to gather steam for his rant and he knew better than to try to reason with him.

"I can't believe this! I've been slaving over this damned presentation for nothing? I slept at 3am this morning just to prepare myself only to be not called? I passed up my date last night because I thought I need to present it today!”

The look on the Daehwi’s face could only be described as pure irritation.

"And did you? Finish everything?"

"Yes! I practiced, brought extra books and did loads of research for the cursed presentation and spent my entire morning practicing in front of my roommate.”

"I bet Guanlin wasn’t very pleased to see that," Soobin laughed, imagining the scenario. He knew from first-hand experience that Guanlin hated listening to boring discussions and his first term history grade was there to prove it.

Surveying over the group of people sprawled out on the campus gardens and trying not to scowl at the thought of the crowded area, he thought that his group of friends probably hadn't arrived yet. Suddenly, he caught the flash of Taehyun's red hair towards the back of the garden by the huge oak tree. His mood improved considerably when he realized that his friends had somehow managed to grab a spot in the shade of one of the largest trees. 

To avoid more of Daehwi’s endless drama, he cut the other guy off in the middle of mourning over the fact that he'd missed out on what must have been the love of his life.

"At least you could rest today or practice with your partner and be more prepared for the actual presentation so stop grumbling."

"Aish," Daehwi complained, dramatically crossing his arms in a childish manner, he then followed Soobin's gaze, seeing Soobin’s group of friends and realized his whining time was officially over. "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Soobin allowed himself to give a tiny nod before he adjusted the strap of his bag and walked across the gardens. He and Daehwi had a number of classes together and even if he had his occasional rants, he was a chill guy to be around. They got along well, but weren't close enough to distract each other too much during classes. That made Daehwi the ideal college friend. In comparison to when he had that one general requirement class with Beomgyu during their freshman year and it hadn't ended well for either of them. The only thing that had saved them from the cruel fate of failing was Taehyun's stubborn reminders and blackmails, forcing Beomgyu to study and the fact that Soobin was very strict with his study schedule.

Their chosen spot of the garden had been thankfully, really cool since it was beside a tree. Soobin felt himself sweating from walking across the lawn. Shrugging off his bag and stripping out of his white coat to his shirt beneath, Soobin let himself sink down onto the grass and sat cross-legged as soon as he joined his friends, who were somehow playing Uno, underneath the shade.

"Remind me again why you guys thought it would be a good idea to hang out outside? It's too hot for this."

"Fresh air is good for you, hyung," Taehyun answered, “Besides, we've all been locked up in our dorms, the library—or the studios, these past few days,” staring pointedly at everyone in the circle. Which is apparently true, Hueningkai’s been busy with his composition project, Taehyun was busy studying too, add the fact that he’s also keeping an eye on Beomgyu. He and Yeonjun, who were coped up inside the library for the past few days, had been doing a lot of studying too.

Letting his friends continue their undoubtedly chaotic game, he calmed himself into a semi-relaxed state without actually distracting himself to what they were doing, he even considered lying down for a short nap. 

But then he felt the prickle of awareness on his nape and craned his neck around, enough to spot Hueningkai crawl up next to him. He'd clearly been enjoying himself because the second he reached Soobin, he lowered himself onto the grass next to Soobin, and smiled really widely.

“So how’s classes, hyung?” the younger greeted.

“The usual. Tiring, my head aches, being filled with a lot of information.” he replied, Kai just laughed.

“I don’t really see you complaining though.”

“Well.. it’s fun and I like what I’m learning.”

It’s true though, even if he had to endure long lectures and read a bunch of books, Soobin found himself enjoying everything he learned. Not everyone could understand how the body works, all those knowledge are actually quite fascinating to discover.

“Hmm… by the way, Yeonjun hyung’s really cool.” Kai stated as he stared off to their friends, who were still distracted by their game, “I’m so glad you invited him over.”

“He is, isn't he? Hyung’s really fun to be around with.”

Kai raised his brows, a teasing smile directed at him. That smile had always meant trouble for him. He doesn’t like it at all. It felt as if the younger always knew something that he himself wasn’t aware of.

“What?”

“Hmm.. nothing.” Kai let out one of those loud-ass laughs he has. It’s especially annoying if it was directed at him. “I mean you kept inviting him over, so I thought there’s something about him.”

“What’s wrong with that? Hyung’s really cool. I thought it would be nice if he joined us.” He didn’t know what the younger was trying to hint at, leaving him all confused. “I mean does he bother you or something?”

“No! No.. quite the opposite actually.”

“You like him?”

“Hahahahahaha! Hyung! I can’t believe you just said that!”

“What? Why?”

“If I do? Would you be jealous?” Kai gave him another one of those disturbing smirks he couldn’t understand, wiggling his brows in the process, “Anyways, what I meant was, I asked hyung if he could dance to one of my compositions for his performance. You know? So that my work will be recognized by a lot of people?”

“And what did he say?”

“He said yes!” Kai exclaimed excitedly as he shared the news, “Just as long as I could give him a sample that he could listen to. That way could choreograph a dance out of it. He’s so nice and cool!”

“I’m happy to hear that. Yeonjun hyung’s really nice, I kinda get that now. But you should also let me listen to your compositions. That’s unfair if you only let hyung listen to it!”

“Of course hyung! I wouldn’t want my favorite hyung to be disappointed by his favorite dongsaeng now, would I? I treat my hyungs fair and square. Except for Beomgyu but don’t tell him that.”

Before they could continue off their talk, Beomgyu had noticed them and decided to calm them out.

“Yah! Why are you both being boring? Come play with us!”

Yeonjun smiled at Soobin in greeting, opening up some space for him and Kai, and started another round of uno.

It’s nice to see that Yeonjun had easily blended himself in their small group. Just like how he easily warmed up to Soobin. Inviting him to their movie night was a good decision.

Even if Soobin thought that his hyung felt a bit out of place at first, It’s probably because Yeonjun was still adjusting to his group of friends. He thought it was weird for his hyung to leave in the middle of the movie just to search for some snacks. But Kai said that Yeonjun hyung was probably scared too. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of his _really cool hyung_ being scared of a measly horror movie. 

Yeonjun looked quite confused when he returned from the kitchen, trailing after a happy Kai who skipped towards the couch. Kai decided to sit by the carpet, with his back against the screen—as he was still scared, while Yeonjun returned to his seat, hugging a huge bag of Doritos. Soobin tried to comfort his hyung by placing his arms around him, just like what he did to Kai, and that somehow made his hyung blush. He was probably shy now that they found out he’s scared. He didn’t know what conversation the two had but after that, Yeonjun just somehow eased into the group.

It kinda felt almost home, if Soobin were to describe the feeling. Yeonjun just filled out that space that they never knew existed. He’s glad that he met Yeonjun and that they all blend well together.

* * *

Soobin knew something was up as soon as Yeonjun texted him asking if they could meet. He just did his last scan and check to make sure his presentation was ready for the next day. Fortunately, he didn’t have any morning classes on Tuesdays so he could still sleep and rest well before his presentation. It was nearing midnight and he was about to sleep when he suddenly heard a notification from his phone. Yeonjun texted him;

**Yeonjun hyung:**

_Hi…😅_

_I hope I’m not bothering you... but..🥺_

_Can we meet?_

**Soobin:**

_Why hyung? Is there something wrong?_

_Are you okay?_

**Yeonjun hyung:**

_Yes I am 😳_

_it’s just… something came up…_

_I hope I didn’t wake u up or smth :(((_

**Soobin:**

_No, it’s okay, hyung :)_

_where are you?_

**Yeonjun hyung:**

_Can you go see me?_

* * *

He waited by the nearest 24/7 convenience store they had. A mere moment later Yeonjun rushed into the store, he entered silently, but it sounded a lot like he’d just barely kept himself from doing so, the thumps of shoes being kicked off rather harshly echoing through the floor. His long long legs were clearly visible as usual, especially now that he was wearing this some sort of striped, cropped sweater and some baggy pants. His arrival was announced by the thump of his bag being dropped to the floor beside Soobin. There they camped out on the corner of the store, hunched over with some ramyeon and bread spread out on the table.

The second the older let himself plop down in his seat, he scooted over until he was seated directly in front of Soobin, his hyung’s feet coming down on each side of his so his knees were bracketing the taller’s legs. Bare moments later Soobin felt Yeonjun’s legs press against his, as if they were playing footsies. The position was comfortable somehow, even though it might look weird from an outsider’s point of view, Yeonjun didn’t look like he cared. Soobin pushed the cup of ramen he prepared for his hyung, the older accepted and thanked him, as they started to eat.

"Rough day?"

Yeonjun was in the middle of slurping down some noodles when Soobin tried to break the silence. Even though Soobin wasn't sure what to call the sound Yeonjun made in reply to that, it was definitely an affirmation. Mondays sucked he supposed.

“I’m sorry if I disturbed you or something…sorry for calling in this late at night. My friends aren’t answering my calls, probably asleep, Gyu had Taehyun in his dorm. I don’t want to disturb Hyuka since he had been focusing on his music for the past couple days and you’re the last person I could call…”

“It’s okay, hyung.” Soobin interrupted his hyung’s worries. He didn’t mind it at all. He’s curious though, on why Yeonjun was still out at this time. He looked tired and angry now compared to when they were out in the gardens earlier. “What happened?”

“Well... Jihoon called in last minute saying that they had this thing going on about research or something and that his group would probably camp out in our dorm. I arrived there seeing _at least_ 5 people in our room. I don’t get it, he could’ve told me earlier.” Yeonjun huffed. “His response was that he thought I was staying all night at the studio like I used to. But I guess that it’s also my fault for staying late in the studio… it’s just he’s always inviting his group and keeps on forgetting he has a roommate sometimes. I know these studies and presentations and all these research are important. But it would be nice if he told me. Are all med students inconsiderate like this?”

“I resent that.”

“You know I wasn’t talking about you. I said ‘inconsiderate’ ones. You’re not inconsiderate, so stop scowling.”

“But you said all med students…” He thought acting offended and giving Yeonjun his best, fake pout might be enough to momentarily distract his hyung. Judging by the look on Yeonjun's face he was more pissed than Soobin had expected, though. But before Soobin could do anything about that, Yeonjun was talking again, face softening and eyes crinkling up at the corners.

“I mean, you always invite me out or even if you feel shy, you really try to be there for me, even adding me to your friend group even if we just met earlier this year. You take a lot of things in consideration better than anyone else simply because you were the eldest in your friend group before I came and I love that now, I’m included in that friend group. Even now, at ass o'clock, you're here eating ramyeon and junk with me. You’re so nice, Soobinie, my precious dongsaeng.”

Something just flickered inside of Soobin’s chest at that. He’s not really used to hearing compliments right at his face or saying it in such a serious manner. Any other time that speech would have had his cheeks turn in an embarrassing shade of pink, but the last three words out of Yeonjun’s mouth had the taller stare with an open-mouthed expression of pure disbelief.

“Okay fine, maybe that was all cheesy, but I stand by everything I said.”

“I’ll-I- um, thank you?” Soobin mumbled to cover up his belated blush and turned his head downwards to pretend to fiddle with the soggy noodles left in his cup. It wasn’t as if Yeonjun couldn’t tell that Soobin was caught between embarrassment and feeling genuinely touched, but Soobin couldn’t help but still feel shy around the older. Especially since the older was so much more than what Soobin expected him to be. Soobin cleared out his throat, “Now, tell me where you’re gonna stay at a time like this? Please don’t tell me you’re planning to stay here until Jihoon sunbae-nim calls?”

The words had Yeonjun shrugging, fingers fiddling and had that tiny pout he did whenever he felt bothered, before he let out a sound that was part sigh, part whine.

“It’s just been one really sucky day. So of course I have nowhere else to go. I was hoping you could stay with me for a while to keep me company and then you could leave me here for a couple more hours until our dorm is emptied. Mondays suck,” Yeonjun announced with enthusiastic distaste and let himself sink lower into the table with a huff. 

The younger man on the other hand felt the flames of worry lick at his chest, a bit of anger was also felt but not too apparent. Soobin had always been a worry-wart, he couldn’t help himself, it’s practically impossible not to– according to most of his friends, but right now he couldn’t believe Yeonjun actually thought he’d leave him here; alone, in the middle of the night and by the looks of it, the older still wasn’t able to change into his clothes, he’s probably really tired. And if there was one thing that pissed him off for real, it was if his friends were troubled yet they seem to fend it off as if it was nothing at all. Not to mention if it’s their safety that counts. Something like this, where Yeonjun probably thought he was bothering Soobin, when he _was_ _not_.

It wasn't a surprise when his hyung immediately wanted him to go back. But Yeonjun is one of his friends now, and even though they started off awkwardly, it doesn’t even matter anymore. Right now, he wanted to make sure his hyung gets proper rest, especially since the older had classes the next day—they knew each other’s schedule with how much they spent studying together.

“Ah, Soobinie, don’t think about it too much. I’ll be fine out here, you could go back to your dorms now if you’re sleepy.” Yeonjun’s long fingers combed and ruffled through the strands of Soobin’s hair, it didn't exactly calm him down, but they were enough to momentarily distract him from his worries. “I’ll be fine, I promise. You know I won’t actually stay here till morning. I just needed some company for a little bit. Jihoon would call me soon.”

“You can’t tell me stuff like this and then expect me to just shrug it off.”

“Your worrisome self is showing, Soobinie.”

Yeonjun had been calling him this nickname recently and he would usually be caught off guard but if Yeonjun’s stubborn, he was too.

“This has nothing to do with being worrisome, hyung. You’re not staying here alone and you even have 10am classes tomorrow. Wait, let me rephrase that, at 10am _today_.”

Yeonjun didn’t break their eye contact, neither did he, but the change of his expression was almost too quick for Soobin to follow. Nevertheless, he’s winning this argument. “Stay at my place.”

The random offer had the older flustered, his eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“Let’s go, you could stay and rest in my place. You won’t be bothering anyone since I live alone.”

Soobin might be exhausted from this long day, but he could still move fast if he wanted to and quickly grabbed Yeonjun’s bag off the floor and went out of the store. Yeonjun protested as he went out to snatch his bag back but had no choice but to follow. Especially with Soobin raising his bag up high, that Yeonjun couldn’t reach even if he tried. His height had always been a great advantage.

* * *

Being alone with Yeonjun inside his dorm was a bit awkward. Soobin didn’t know how to make Yeonjun comfortable inside his small home.

“I could sleep by the couch?” Yeonjun shyly asked.

“No, hyung that’s…” Honestly, Soobin didn’t know what to say. He just felt uncomfortable with someone sleeping on the uncomfortable couch while he was relaxing peacefully on a comfy bed. “Wait for me here...”

Soobin grabbed two of the sleeping bags they had used for movie nights as well as some pillows. He also grabbed some stuff his hyung could change into. Once he returned, he pushed off his couch onto the corner and placed the sleeping bags on the floor.

“You don’t have to join me, Soobinie…” Yeonjun muttered, helping Soobin set up the area. 

“But I want to, hyung. It’s not fair for me to stay comfy inside my room while you’re out here.”

“But this is comfy enough and you did more than enough… Thank you so much..”

“It’s really nothing, hyung. Here, I grabbed some of my clothes, a spare towel and a new toothbrush, you can go shower and change if you want.”

He continued setting up the area for them to be comfortable. Soobin checked the time, only to see that it’s already 1:30am. He thinks they could get enough sleep if they rested as soon as possible. He brushed his teeth by his mini kitchen sink as he waited for Yeonjun to finish getting ready for bed.

Settling down in his covers, Soobin blatantly stared at his hyung when he went out of the bathroom. Yeonjun looked so soft wearing his huge shirt and comfy shorts. Gone were his cool outfit and energetic aura. His face was tired and puffy from all the ramyeon they just ate. Yeonjun looked fresh and even cuter swimming in the huge clothing. He couldn’t help but coo from the sight of his soft hyung.

“Don’t stare at me while I’m sleeping!” Yeonjun exclaimed as he buried himself under the covers, only to see Soobin facing him.

“Why not?” He leaned closer to Yeonjun’s area, getting closer to his personal bubble, as he teased his hyung. Yeonjun covered his face with the blanket while his one hand slapped Soobin’s resting arm. “Okay, okay, I’ll go to sleep. Good night, hyung.”

Soobin was still facing Yeonjun’s way while he lied back down, pretended to sleep and shut his eyes. He heard some shuffling going on the other side, “You’re so unfair, hyung…”

“What?!” Yeonjun whisper-shouted at him. He could feel Yeonjun’s breath near him even if their mattresses were a few centimeters apart and he could exactly imagine the flustered face his hyung was making.

“Cause you’re staring at my face.”

“I am not!”

“Hmm…” Yeonjun’s such a horrible liar. 

A few minutes later, Soobin felt warmth near him, staying still, for a while, he felt Yeonjun beside him.

“Good night Binnie…” Yeonjun whispered. “Thank you for everything.”

With that, Soobin couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face as he fell asleep. 

As soon as his eyes had opened, there was no Yeonjun beside him. Instead, there was Yeonjun’s sleeping bag, neatly folded with a small note on top.

**I thought you would need extra sleep so I didn’t wanna wake you up! I wished to stay but I still had my classes. I made some breakfast for you~ as payment for letting me stay… thank you so much Soobinie~ I know you’ll do great with your presentation! Fighting and Good luck!**

**P.S. I know I could’ve just texted u but u might also wake up from the notification so I chose not to.**

**-your favorite hyung, Yeonjun**

Soobin smiled at the rushed yet cute handwriting of Yeonjun. He couldn’t believe that Yeonjun would even remember that he had his presentation today.

Yeonjun’s breakfast clearly made his day, especially with how Soobin felt energetic and happy as he prepared for his, as Daehwi would’ve said, cursed presentation.

To say that his presentation did well is a huge understatement, because Soobin had actually nailed his presentation. All they have to do now is make sure they prove it and he’ll have no worries of passing this semester.

* * *

Excitedly, he made his way to the cafe where all of his friends decided to meet up. He once again saw Taehyun’s red head along with Beomgyu and Yeonjun who all seemed to work on something in their laptops. As soon as Soobin arrived, Yeonjun actually stood up to greet the taller, running towards him as he waited for the news.

“So how did your presentation go?” Yeonjun asked, looking nervous yet anticipating good news. He stared directly at Soobin’s eyes as he waited for the taller to answer.

“We nailed it, hyung!” Soobin exclaimed. “Now we just have to defend if we really got our specimen right!”

“I don’t really know what that means but if it went well I’m so happy for you!” Yeonjun jumped, he seemed more excited about Soobin’s success than Soobin himself. Soobin couldn’t help but laugh at his hyung’s outburst as he welcomed Yeonjun’s extended arms and hugged his hyung.

“You’ve been working at it for days Binnie! I’m so glad your work paid off!”

Soobin beamed as he continued to hug Yeonjun. He felt touched that his hyung was actually worried about his presentation as much as he did and was glad that he could share his happiness with his hyung. It might not be a huge deal to others, but it did for both of them. For him who worked really hard for it, and for Yeonjun, who saw him go through it. Yeonjun playfully swayed them side to side as they both laughed at their silly antics.

“Me too hyung, me too…”

* * *

“I think Hyuka’s right, Taehyunie. Soobin hyung’s getting really attached to Yeonjun hyung..” Beomgyu observed as he and Taehyun continued to watch their hyungs, hugging out their happiness. It wasn’t really a rare sight. Soobin practically shines whenever they are having fun but there’s something about their hyung these days that they couldn’t help but _not_ notice. Especially now that Yeonjun was around. Soobin didn’t even notice Hyuka’s absence, which was the first thing that Soobin usually noticed at their group hang outs.

“I don’t know Beomie hyung, only Soobin hyung knows what he truly feels.” But Taehyun isn’t blind, he too noticed his hyung’s actions, “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be dropping a few next chapter spoilers on my twt account~ BTW I usually just rant about BTS/TXT/Yeonbin over there so if u chose to follow me, excuse my endless and shameless spazzing...  
> Idk if the story flow is okay or if it’s going too fast or slow. Btw my friend told me that opening a curiouscat would help? Idk yet but Feel free to ask any questions about the fic on twt or in the comments 😅 I'll try my best to answer them without spoiling anything.


	5. Five Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun falls deeper...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came up a bit later than usual, we had a small problem with our network connection, and I literally edited and posted this using my phone and mobile data~ thank goodness it worked T-T

Yeonjun went back to his dorm after a tiring yet successful day. He was able to finish some of his papers with Beomgyu and Taehyun as they waited for Soobin and Kai to arrive. With the great news that Soobin aced his presentation, they all planned to celebrate yet another hang out session, this time in Beomgyu’s place. Taehyun had to urge Beomgyu into cleaning his place before they stayed there and Beomgyu begged for Taehyun to help him, hence, their usual bicker fest. 

Sadly, the maknae of the group wasn’t able to join them for reasons that he was in his writing ‘groove’ and of course, all of them respected that. They made sure to inform him of their plans. The younger had been working really hard to finish his composition before Yeonjun’s dance competition and he’s really grateful for that. Kai is such a hardworking, kind and adorable kid. Yeonjun couldn’t even force himself to despise him, likewise, he was really excited for Kai to finish his work so that the younger could finally take a moment to breathe. He’d really want to know more about Hueningkai, he wouldn’t deny that he also had a soft spot for the kid. He kinda got it now, how he somehow had Soobin around his fingers. Yeonjun sighed at the thought and continued his walk back to his dorm.

Pleasantly, their room looked clean and presentable enough when he arrived. Tables were clean, their mini living room was clean, no dirty dishes, his bed looked like how he left it the day before. Not a single hint of having guests was present. Even if Jihoon always invited loads of guests into their room, he had always made sure of clearing up his mess, which should be. But Yeonjun considered himself fortunate for that, not all roommates cared about cleanliness or even considered their roommates for that matter. It seemed as if Jihoon had also just arrived, as he casually lounged on their sofa with his white coat still on.

“So how’s you and Mr. Tall, handsome, angel that just fell into the sky?” Yeonjun glared at Jihoon’s greeting, the other raising his hands as defence, “Your words not mine.”

His day just ended, he’s tired as hell. Yeonjun doesn’t have time for Jihoon’s bullshit. Especially with what he pulled off last night. Yeonjun was used to it, but last night was the absolute worst. He wasn’t able to contact any of his friends and stayed by their dorm lobby for hours until someone answered and that someone turned out to be Soobin.

Honestly, he wouldn’t deny that Jihoon’s words were somewhat true, Soobin must be his guardian angel or something. He did his best to not contact the taller, but it had been more than two hours and he almost made it through all his contacts before getting a hold of anyone. Either they’re not answering or they also had someone over. He finally decided to contact Soobin when he was left with no other choice.

Soobin had immediately answered his texts and Yeonjun would actually cry a river for his endless kindness. What did Yeonjun ever do to deserve him? Soobin even offered his place for him to stay. He wore Soobin’s clothes too. Yeonjun had to slap his face while getting ready to bed because he was almost sure that he was dreaming. Let’s just say that even if he had a shitty night, it had also turned out to be great. 

Yeonjun gracelessly fell into the other couch, groaning as he was reminded of last night’s events. “Never pull that type of bullshit again, Jihoon.”

“But that ended up with you staying at his place—Don’t ask me how I know, but Lee Daehwi is my friend and he knows everything—by everything, he saw you and Soobin walking back to his place together. So? Tell me the deets~”

“Well, yeah, thanks to you, I had to bother Soobin yet _again_ . What’s there to talk about? Nothing happened anyway. He offered me to stay at his place because _someone_ had been so inconsiderate lately.”

“Hey! I’m really sorry about that,” Jihoon pouted, it didn't suit him, Yeonjun thought. To everyone, Jihoon was the cutest angel but what they didn’t know—in the two years he’s been living with Jihoon, is that he’s a cunning little devil in disguise. Devil being really nice and acting really cute for others just to forgive him and give him what he wanted. Yeonjun was pretty much used to it. “I really thought you’re gonna stay elsewhere. Besides, Something good came out of it! Plus you owe me one time! Back when you were stalking Soobin in our building.”

Well, nevertheless, he’s a good friend most of the time. Besides, he wouldn’t say that he wasn’t the same. As they’ve said, _birds of the same feather flock together_ , meaning, _sometimes_ , he probably is just as evil as Jihoon was.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, it’s just I feel like I bother him most of the time you know?” Yeonjun couldn’t even count all of the good things Soobin had done for him, “I feel flustered every time he does something really nice for me, it feels as if I’m taking advantage of him.”

“Why don’t you just ask him out?”

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying? I’ve told you a bunch of times, he’s in love with his best friend.”

“ _Please_ , What is this movie plot? I fell for you but you’re in love with your best friend scenario?”

“It is what it is.”

“Well that’s sad…” Jihoon’s pensive face turned into excitement as he shared his own set of news. “Anyways! I’m throwing my birthday party next week~ You have to bring the love of your life! And I have to meet him again~ Just tell him, I owe him for keeping you last night.”

“Why would we want to be invited to your party?”

“Well for one, it would be held at Kang Daniel’s place cause he loves me as a bro like that and two, do you really hate me _that_ much to not go to my very own birthday? Besides Wooyoung, Chan and the others are going too. What kind of a roommate are you? After two years of-”

“Please, spare me with your dramatics. You got me at Kang Daniel’s place.”

“Psh… I knew you love him more than me.”

“Where’s the lie?”

“Probably not as much as you love Soobin though.”

That’s it. Yeonjun aggressively threw the couch pillows, tackling Jihoon’s face. 

“Even if you suffocate me to death! You can’t deny you’re falling for him!”

He would admit he likes Soobin. A lot. Like _‘I usually dream of him and imagine us dating and doing all mushy things together’_ type of thing. But he isn’t, like, _in love with him_ yet… _right_? Because Yeonjun is basically questioning everything right now—stupid Jihoon and his dumb brain. 

He literally googled ‘ _Questions to ask yourself to know you are in love…’_ that night before falling asleep… just to be sure...

_  
Do you feel happy and just a little bit nervous?_

It was another casual day, a day where Yeonjun actually has an early morning class which sometimes he actually forgot that it existed. He had about 20 minutes before said class that he decided to buy a can of coffee to keep himself awake through the day. 

Going out of the store, he noticed Soobin rushing off. He wanted to call and greet him but the taller looked stressed and worried as he ran. Soobin looked like a tall mess yet in Yeonjun’s eyes he still looked ethereal. It doesn’t matter if Soobin looked like he just got out of his bed, that he probably didn’t comb his hair after his shower or that his usual pristine white coat had a huge stain right by his side pocket. All he knew is that he felt a rush come through him as he saw the taller this early morning. Feeling elated that Soobin was the first person he saw that day—well, it really was the cashier at the convenience store but he really didn’t care about that—Yeonjun knew that he didn’t need his coffee anymore.

_Do you notice that literally_ everything _reminds you of them?_

Yeonjun sat down by the nearest cafe with the other club members, Chan and Wooyoung, discussing their upcoming competition. With the competition being only a month away, Jimin hyung had finally assigned them their parts for the whole competition. Yeonjun was given a solo apart from his unit and group choreographies. He was quite confident in earning a solo, but he didn’t expect to dance in a unit. He was suddenly given a challenge which he hoped he didn’t have to take. He, along with Chan and Wooyoung were candidates for next year’s club president and dance team’s leader. They were all talented and Yeonjun was actually scared of the outcome of this year’s dance competition.

Before anything else, Yeonjun had to focus on the matter at hand. He could worry about the future sometime later. What he needed to focus on right now was their unit performance and getting food into their stomachs.

It wasn’t until food arrived that Yeonjun noticed that Wooyoung ordered a large piece of bread. He couldn’t help but stare at it and remember a certain someone who would love to have it.

He remembered how one time Soobin _actually_ got mad at him for stealing one without his permission. He literally threw a fit and decided not to talk to Yeonjun until he bought him a replacement for what he ate. He thought it was really adorable how Soobin looked more than pleased with getting more bread afterwards. It’s their first ever fight and it’s just so adorable Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile at the memory. 

His face probably got all mushy because Wooyoung stopped mid-bite as he and Chan stared weirdly back at him.

“Uh...Do you want some?” Wooyoung hesitantly offered Yeonjun his meal, “Just please don’t finish it. I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

“Why are you weirdly staring at Wooyoung?” 

“Ah, nothing, I just remembered someone who loves that.”

“Whew, I actually thought you were falling for him or something.”

“Yeah right!” Wooyoung sarcastically said, laughing “I bet he’s falling for this bread more than me.”

“As if I’d fall for him.” Yeonjun just rolled his eyes at his friends. “Can we please focus on this matter right now?”

“You’re the one who’s making googly eyes with bread,” Chan received a harsh slap at his shoulder, courtesy of Yeonjun. “Fine, fine! Let’s talk about our unit choreography.”

  
  


_Do you get just a little jealous?_

It’s not exactly shocking when he saw Soobin and Kai together on the street later that weekend. In fact, the sight was really rare but he couldn’t help himself but stare. Just like Yeonjun, they were probably on their way to Beomgyu’s place too. 

Yeonjun would actually approach them if it weren’t for the current scenario where Soobin carried Kai on his back, laughing and teasing one another. Soobin was actually half whining and half complaining while Kai’s having the time of his life. They looked cute if Yeonjun was being honest but with the way they both seemed to enjoy themselves, as if they were in their own little world, just like always did things to Yeonjun that he would admit to himself. That and the fact that he couldn’t find himself interrupting their mini bubble. 

  
  


It’s only when they reached Beomgyu’s dorm building did the other two notice Yeonjun trailing after them. Hueningkai immediately latched himself onto him and it was only then that Yeonjun felt at ease. 

Yeonjun had informed everyone about Jihoon’s party the following week and asked them if it was okay to cancel next week's movie night for they were all invited. Beomgyu and Kai were pretty ecstatic about it. 

They all spent the rest of the night playing Beomgyu’s board games as well as a few rounds of never had I ever over a few bottles of soju. To say that Yeonjun sat right in the middle of Soobin and Kai, was purely coincidental. He wouldn’t admit that he hates it whenever the two bickered with him sitting in the middle.

  
  


_Does your relationship feel easy?_

Jihoon’s party was pretty lively even if it was a bit too early to be this rowdy. The party isn’t nearly as bad as he thought it’d be, Park Jihoon really did well for his birthday party.

“Yeonjun! My loving roommate actually came!” Apparently, Jihoon was already this drunk at the start of his party. “And where is the lo-”

Yeonjun’s palm quickly covered Jihoon’s mouth. He would really need to place a tape on Jihoon’s mouth before he sputtered any details that could cause Yeonjun any more embarrassment. Jihoon, thankfully in his drunk state, only giggled into his palm.

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun told the other four, “His mouth is pretty filthy when drunk.”

They all just nodded and said their birthday greetings for Jihoon who was still actually quite happy even though Yeonjun silenced him. In exchange, Jihoon made them a giant drink with a strong combination different types of liquors that many mixers ever splashed in. It's disgusting, but Yeonjun chugs it down anyway, he needed one to get through this craziness. He saw the other four drink it as well. Beomgyu was disgusted by the taste while Kai seemed to enjoy it. Soobin and Taehyun just seemed to take it well.

Yeonjun was almost drunk by the time more people stumbled into the house party. He saw Soobin headed to the couches while Beomgyu pushed Taehyun down next to him before he made himself comfortable on Taehyun’s lap. Kai disappeared somewhere to presumably get another drink. Yeonjun knew he had to put in a little effort for them to have fun, so he nudged Soobin and motioned with him to come closer.

"Why don't we go dance, Soobinie?" Yeonjun shouted over the music into his ear. Yeonjun loved to dance. It's one of the main reasons he even bothered to attend the occasional parties with Jihoon. That's really one of the only things he did at parties. Soobin did get up even though he probably didn’t want to.

"Come on dance, Binnie, it's fun!"

Soobin looked like he debates it for half a second before he joins in, throws his body around with little finesse and Yeonjun laughed, head jumping with the music as they made themselves out to look like maniacs. It was tiring but worth it, dancing to song after song until Yeonjun looked over to see Soobin dancing really well. He looked like he's enjoying it, Yeonjun never actually saw this side of Soobin where he looked free and lost his composure. It's not long before they're crashing together, laughing and sweaty and grabbing at each other to steady each other. They danced some more, and Yeonjun’s gotta admit that Soobin was pretty good in dancing.

"Fun?" Yeonjun asked out, pushing Soobin’s sweaty hair out of his face.

Soobin agreed quickly, nodding, laughing, chest heaving. "Lots." 

  
  


_Do you find yourself not worrying about whether you are risking your heart?_

They swayed on their feet for a moment before Soobin squeezed his shoulder, he looked like he’s getting tired, "Let’s sit?"

He checked over his shoulder to see Beomgyu sneaking upstairs with Taehyun as they somehow started to make out. He didn’t know how they managed to do that without tripping but, hey, the couch was free. Yeonjun nodded, fanning at the front of his shirt as Soobin took his hand and guided him out through the crowd and into the couch.

Out of nowhere, Yeonjun started to feel really emotional as they rested by the couches. It looked like everyone was having fun. Even Soobin, who said he wasn't fond of parties, had a huge smile on his face as he stared at Kai wildly dancing with the crowd. Kai’s loud laugh heard through the equally loud music. Maybe that’s why he’s sad, because even if he had Soobin beside him all this time. His eyes would forever be at Kai’s. Yeonjun felt like crying, fucking alcohol and it’s effects. 

“Are you okay, hyung?”

Soobin, like the angel that he is, had of course been aware that he’s very upset right now. He stared at the taller’s concerned eyes as all of his problems came crashing down on him. Expectations, prelim exams, his position at the dean’s list, their upcoming dance competition, his solo, and finally, his place in Soobin’s life.

“Soobinie, do you think I'm too conceited?” Yeonjun asked softly, Soobin probably couldn’t hear him with the loud music blaring since he asked Yeonjun if he wanted to go outside. The cool air greeted them as soon as they dropped into one of the lawn chairs, sprawling out to stare up at the sky. There was a comfortable silence for a while until Soobin decided to break it.

“What did you mean by that, hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“You asked me if I think you’re conceited … why, hyung?”

Yeonjun fiddled with the ends of his shirt, trying his best to avoid the subject. He wasn’t even that drunk, yet as time passed by, he felt more and more vulnerable.

“Well, it’s nothing really…”

“It’s not nothing if it troubles you a lot, hyung.”

“It’s just- I don’t know, really… sometimes, I just think that, I’m not really great, you know? But people are, like, expecting a lot, because _‘he’s Choi Yeonjun’, ‘he’ll never disappoint’_ and that _‘he probably thinks he’s so great that he’ll never fail’..._ Of course, I hear a lot of rumors about me and sometimes… I dunno,”

Yeonjun took a deep breath before he continued, swallowing the heavy lump in his throat, he could actually feel it in his chest.

“Sometimes, I think- I should do my very best but what if I _did_ fail, Binnie? What if this time around, I _cannot_ be the best. What if I _failed_ everyone and everybody? What if I’m not really as great as everyone, myself included, thought I’ll be? What will I be then?” Yeonjun sadly sighed. “... I probably sound like I needed a lot of attention.”

Soobin was silent for a while and Yeonjun felt like he’s gonna cry anytime soon. Yeonjun kept his gaze focused on his legs. Soobin probably thought he was so full of himself. He’s so selfish, it’s no wonder Soobin wouldn’t even like him. Even in his mind, it’s all about himself. Everything he did, was all for his own benefit. He really was conceited. Yeonjun was ready to curl up into his seat when Soobin had broken his train of thoughts.

“But you don’t, hyung. You don’t need attention because it just naturally comes to you.” Soobin just softly smiled and took his hand, drawing little circles to comfort him. “Everything, everyone, you easily draw them near, because you’re that good, in fact, you’re that great. Everyone was expecting a lot because they _knew_ you could do it. _Because you are Choi Yeonjun_.”

Soobin pulled Yeonjun closer as he continued to hold his hand and comfort him.

“You proved yourself, hyung, you’ve shown your talent, your qualities, what you could do and you have every right to be proud of that. All the hard work you’ve showcased, were all yours to take. That doesn’t mean you’re conceited. I saw you dance once, it wasn’t even a full on performance, you were just practicing, yet I know… That you’re gonna shake up the stage. Because you’re talented and because you worked hard for it, I’m pretty sure you'll be the best and your performance would be remarkable.”

_Fuck. I’m falling in love with him._

Yeonjun doesn’t know what has gotten into him. Maybe it was Soobin’s words? His realization? Maybe because he was feeling vulnerable? Or the fact that he just shared his deepest and darkest thoughts with Soobin? Or maybe it’s the alcohol that gave him this much courage. Whatever it was, Yeonjun absentmindedly leaned in and kissed Soobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, um, that happened...


	6. Six Challenges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin thinks that the world really hates him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually got this done first before chapter 5 so I thought, another update it is 💕
> 
> Warning: a lot of descriptions on this one probably coz I wrote this one first 😅 chapter 5 was more of a shortcut of this... so this would be a bit longer...

Soobin’s week had gotten progressively worse as it continued. After excelling his presentation on one of the hardest classes he had, the following days had decided to make up for it. He didn’t know what he did wrong because he had been facing a _bunch_ of challenges the whole week. _Fate, destiny, luck, whatever the fuck it was._ They were all against him. 

It started a few days ago. _First,_ His damn alarm didn't alert him so he showered really quickly and ended up running towards class with his module forgotten plus he was wearing one of his stained white coats. He sprinted towards his first class and when he got there, he was all sweaty, messy and very much not ready for class. The only seat left is the one directly in front of the professor, who constantly asked questions. He was also reprimanded for forgetting his module thus failing his quiz.

_Second,_ His partner doesn’t show up for his psych presentation so he had to do it all alone. Daehwi just shot him supportive looks throughout his entire discussion. Good thing he usually creates the presentation, knowing everything by heart. That doesn’t make it easier though… Of course, his professor turned out to be an asshole who asked him a lot of things before he deemed Soobin’s presentation acceptable.

When he was finally finished with all of his classes and is finally back at his place, does he remember to submit his manual and he had to sprint back to their building hoping that his professor was still in the faculty.

Walking back to his place for the second time, Soobin received a call from Huening, reminding him that they were all gonna meet at his favorite cafe, the one with the great variety of pastries and drinks, and that they were all heading there soon.

“Yeonjun hyung’s already there.” Hueningkai said, “Hurry up and go join him, hyung. Don’t even bother changing anymore, we’ll all be there in a sec.”

He wrinkled his nose at the thought of not changing. “But I look like a mess.”

“What’s new with that?” Kai teased, “You don’t want Yeonjun hyung waiting there all alone wouldn’t you?”

Now that Soobin thought about it, he also felt lazy to go back to his place only to change and walk back to the cafe. He just looked forward to eating and resting after such a horrible day. Arriving at the cafe, he easily spotted Yeonjun scribbling in one of the corner tables.

“Hey.” He collapsed into the seat directly across from Yeonjun. “Why are you the only one here?”

“Why? Do you not want me to be here?” Yeonjun asked, lifting his eyebrows. He knew the older was kidding but he had been frazzled the whole day, he didn’t want to offend his hyung in any way.

“No.” He panicked and waved his arms frantically. “Of course not, I’m actually happy that you’re here. I was just wondering where everyone else was.”

Yeonjun laughed at him and looked back down to what he was doing. “Taehyun went to pick Beomgyu up. Last I heard, Kai was going to be late because he forgot when we were meeting.”

Kai, that brat, said he was arriving soon, guess he should’ve known the younger would decide to be late after rushing him like that. He went quiet as he watched Yeonjun scribbling into a pad of paper. He noticed a list of songs in the corner, as well as scribbles of notes and cute drawings of stickman formations.

“I had _such_ a horrible day.” He said to distract his hyung. Yeonjun doesn’t reply, probably too immersed into his drawing, so he tried once again and proceeded to tell his day. All he had gotten was silence and the sounds of pen across paper. He knew it was hard to gain Yeonjun’s attention especially if he was this focused but he was tired and bored. He had one last final attempt, sighing all loud and pitiful. “I wish someone could make this day better.”

Yeonjun finally looks up from what he was doing with a look of mock exasperation. “If I buy you some bread, will you stop complaining?”

He grinned and happily waited for Yeonjun to bring out his card. “Definitely.”

Rolling his eyes, Yeonjun pulled out his wallet and slapped his card into Soobin’s awaiting hands. He then gleefully headed towards the counter and bought his snack.

When he returned with his croissant, Yeonjun was completely focused on his writing to notice him. He’s satisfied just watching the older boy work.

It’s cute the way his eyebrows scrunch together in concentration, his free hand tangling into his hair, his long fingers wrapped around his pen. He noticed the way Yeonjun bites at the end of his pen when he gets stuck or how he mutters to himself when he’s deciding on something. Of course, he wouldn’t forget about the usual pout he had whenever he’s too immersed.

Just like how he studied, Yeonjun seemed to be giving his all in dance too. He never would’ve thought that choreographies could be written in papers, all he knew about dancing was through watching videos. It’s quite entertaining to see how Yeonjun works.

All those little actions felt so endearing and he felt really entertained with just watching Yeonjun focus on his tasks.

That's supposed to ring some warning bells but they don't come. Soobin thought it was completely normal to be completely immersed into watching Yeonjun.

“Something wrong with your croissant?” Yeonjun suddenly asked, probably noticing the way Soobin was observing him.

“Huh?”

“Your croissant?” Yeonjun gestured toward his plate, “Is there something wrong with it? Why aren’t you eating it?”

“Oh, there’s nothing wrong with it… I just noticed that you pout whenever you try to really focus, hyung. You look really cute.”

Soobin had no clue how that last statement flustered the other person to no end. He just simply took a huge bite of the croissant and smiled happily, thanking his hyung for the treat.

“Just say, thank you, you brat! No need to flatter me.” Yeonjun bashfully grumbled as he took back his card and slipped it in his wallet. 

Soobin just shrugged, “It’s true, though.”

  
  


Soon after, the other three had arrived. Yeonjun then kept his papers as they all shared and talked about their days. Suddenly, Yeonjun was called by their club president and apologized because he needed to leave right away.

“Jimin hyung’s probably assigning parts for the competition.” Beomgyu said, “It’s no wonder hyung’s been working a lot these days. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna get a solo either way.”

“What about you, hyung?” Kai asked, “Aren’t you a part of the dance team?”

“I’ll be dancing with the whole group so our practice starts tomorrow. The ones who were called are usually the _really_ good ones… you know? Those who're most likely to get a solo.”

Beomgyu shrugged as he continued to stir his straw around his drink. They all had seen Beomgyu dance, and he’s actually really great at it. Soobin couldn’t say for others though since he knew that everyone in the dance club was obviously good at dancing.

“But you’re also great at dancing, hyung.” Taehyun complimented his boyfriend. 

Beomgyu just smiled gratefully at his boyfriend. He must’ve been bothered by Kai’s question, but he can never be sure. Beomgyu always appeared to be either happy or snappy. Taehyun kept on complimenting his boyfriend, only he could understand what’s going on in Beomgyu’s mind. In fact, it goes the same as with Beomgyu to Taehyun. He guessed it was something only couples would understand.

  
  


“I bet they’re all sickeningly sweet right now but I’m almost a hundred percent sure they’ll be fighting later on.” whispered Kai onto his ear.

  
  


Challenged, Soobin had observed the group’s couple, they both seemed fine right now. It was very much unlikely that they’ll fight, especially since Taehyun kept on boosting Beomgyu’s ego and there’s nothing that could cause them to argue. So he decided to bet against Kai.

“Oh, yeah? I don’t think they’ll be in any fights today.”

“Okay~ Let’s bet on it.”

That same week came his _third_ challenge _,_ in the form of carrying Hueningkai across the campus as they went to Beomgyu’s place. Soobin had been winning yet Kai had still won their little bet. They were just walking back to their dorms when suddenly Taehyun was reminded about cleaning Beomgyu’s place. The couple had to unfortunately argue about it through their whole walk. Kai had been smirking the whole time saying that Soobin owed him.

It wouldn’t bother him if he was carrying Kai from his place to Beomgyu’s but the younger actually asked him to carry him from his own building which was almost a mile away from Beomgyu’s.

It irked Soobin to no end since the younger had been laughing and teasing him all throughout his severe punishment. He had then promised and reminded himself to never make another bet with Kai.

Only when they arrived did they notice Yeonjun trailing after them. Soobin had hated the punishment even more now that his hyung saw him embarrassingly suffer. Kai, the traitor, immediately latched himself to Yeonjun as soon as he saw him. Forgetting about his hyung’s poor back as they all went to Beomgyu’s room.

Beomgyu had thankfully cleaned the place with the help of Taehyun who seemed tired as he lay down on one of Beomgyu’s huge couches. Beomgyu had ordered a proper dinner for them all, before they all went to fill their stomachs with more junk food and some soju.

“Oh, by the way, it’s Jihoon’s birthday next week.” Yeonjun shared while they were all busy and heated with their game of ‘truth or dare’ jenga, “Uh, he’s my roommate, and he’s inviting all of us to come. So… um, we could all go if you guys want to…”

“We are?!” Beomgyu exclaimed, distracted by the news. “Everyone in the dance team had been talking about it! I’m not really close with Jihoon-ssi but I heard they’re gonna have it at Kang Daniel’s place!”

“Well, yeah it is… I mean it might not be as great as Jackson hyung’s or Jungkook hyung’s…”

“Are you kidding?! Kang Daniel’s place is _huge_ as fuck, even _if_ it’s not as great as Jackson hyung’s or Jungkook hyung’s— but I still think it would be as great—I would love to go!”

Soobin didn’t know what the huge fuss was about. Beomgyu and Kai were equally hyped while Taehyun, he didn’t have much of a choice especially if Beomgyu intended to go.

“Are we really invited though, hyung?” Soobin couldn’t help but ask. They weren’t friends with Jihoon-ssi, they were friends with Yeonjun. What if Yeonjun just invited them because he felt that he was compelled to?

“You were actually a special mention, Soobinie.” Yeonjun reassured him, though he actually looked like he was grimacing, “Jihoon said it was the least he could do for keeping me that time he kicked me out.”

Ah… no wonder… Yeonjun hyung had probably told his roommate and now they both felt guilty about it. It was no bother really. He was just about to say this when Yeonjun had suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

“Well, I really hoped you’ll be there too… all of you.”

“Of course we’ll be there!” Beomgyu hollered, “I wouldn’t miss it!”

“My first college party would be in a massive house with the coolest, most popular kids on campus!”

Kai shrieked as he was overly hyped by this, their game of jenga forgotten. Well, if all his friends wanted to go, it's inevitable for him not to come.

  
  


_Fourth_ problem was that he had to force himself to go to the party. Yeonjun hyung can be very persuasive most of the time and Soobin could hardly ever say no to him. Especially since he was specifically mentioned. Not that he really didn’t want to attend—Yeonjun was the one who invited them and according to Kai and Beomgyu, it was a _‘huge honor’_ — but Soobin really wasn’t the type to party. He probably would just sit in the corner and stare at people, add the fact that he didn’t know what to wear. 

He’s been in enough parties to know what the deal was but apparently according to Beomgyu and Kai, this was a ‘ _bigger deal’_ because it’s a bigger party. Kai had insisted on helping him but Soobin would rather dress himself than look like some fucking rainbow. He asked Taehyun what he would wear but the younger only told him that Beomgyu was the one planning his outfit. 

From what he knew, Daehwi and Guanlin would probably be present too, as well as some Med Student sunbaes, like Namjoon hyung and Taehyung hyung. It probably wouldn’t end as bad as he thought it would.

  
  


_Fifth_ challenge was the party itself. He had no clue what he’s supposed to do other than being a chaperone for his younger friends. On the night of the party, Beomgyu texted Yeonjun-hyung that they were on their way and followed his instructions in riding a taxi to Kang Daniel’s place off campus. He’s dressed in what he thinks is a party attire—in hopes that it would discourage Hueningkai from wanting to dress him, nevertheless Beomgyu had still asked him to change in the end. Thankfully, he ended up in an all black outfit but his top was a bit too thin for his liking. 

As they got down the cab, Soobin wondered if they were in the right place. In front of them was a huge house, those types you would only see in movies and such. Beomgyu had fussed about the place but he wasn’t aware that it would be this massive.

“Beom, are you sure-?” He was about to ask Beomgyu about it until he saw a familiar face running towards them.

“Hey!” Yeonjun greeted them from the entrance of the house, dressed in a flimsy white top paired with a black leather pants that hugged his long long legs. Nope, Soobin did not just accidentally check out his hyung.

Kai had seen Soobin unknowingly swooning at Yeonjun that he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. Yeonjun had guided them through the entrance, they were following him since he was the popular one.

Leading them inside, they found a huge mass of crowd, loud music playing, with a DJ right in front of the huge living room? Soobin doesn’t even know if it was a living room because the place was _massive_ , probably even bigger than their building’s entrance. 

And they said that Jackson and Jungkook sunbaenim’s were somewhat better? He couldn’t imagine a bigger party than this. There’s a buffet at one side of the place, a lot of people outside by the pool, some were playing beer pongs and the others were scattered all over the huge house. No wonder Beomgyu was hyped about this, it’s basically where all the _‘cool’_ kids go. Soobin was impressed. 

They met the birthday boy in his already drunk state greeting them and Yeonjun. Jihoon-ssi was so glad to see him and Soobin didn’t actually know why. He shrugged it off since it’s probably because he was thankful for that one night Yeonjun stayed at his place.

After making them drink a giant booze with a strong combination of liquors, the birthday guy had left them and told them to enjoy the party. It was really strong, yet he saw Yeonjun chugging it down. He saw the other four drink it as well. The disgust on Beomgyu’s face was evident, not used to hard liquors. Kai, just as he expected, seemed to enjoy it while Taehyun did his best at keeping a straight face.

Soobin saw a lot of familiar faces, from his seniors to some of his classmates, even Daehwi and Guanlin who were both shitfaced drunk. He didn’t want to approach them in that state so he chose to go sit on one of the couches, avoiding the huge dancing crowd. He noticed Taehyun and Beomgyu trailing after him.

He had planned on just sitting on this one as he watched his friends have fun. Being the ‘responsible’ one in the group, someone needed to be sober enough and rested enough to take them all home. But apparently, that wasn’t Yeonjun’s plan.

"Why don't we go dance, Soobinie?" Yeonjun shouted over the music into his ear. Again, he couldn’t find himself refusing the other. It was the whole point of coming over here, anyway. Yeonjun had led him towards the crowd that he tried his best to avoid.

"Come on dance, Binnie, it's fun!"

He was reluctant about it for half a second before he decided to join in, throwing his body around, not caring. No one would even care or judge him since they were all drunk. Yeonjun laughed, joining him as they jumped with the music and made themselves look like they’ve just been released from jail. Soobin didn’t expect to have this much fun, Yeonjun was there dancing with him and they didn’t care about what anyone would think. He found himself dancing through all of the songs played. 

It was not long before they started crashing against each other, laughing and sweaty. They grabbed at each other to steady themselves in case they fall. They danced a bit more, took a few shots that were handed out by ‘servers’ and Soobin was really thankful that Yeonjun had pulled him out of that corner.

  
  


"Fun?" Yeonjun asked out, pushing Soobin’s sweaty hair out of his face.

Soobin agreed quickly, nodding, laughing, chest heaving. He never enjoyed a party quite like this before, "Lots."

  
  


They swayed on their feet for a moment before Soobin decided that he couldn’t take the heat anymore and he was starting to get tired. He tapped Yeonjun’s shoulder as he asked, "Let’s sit?"

Yeonjun scanned the area before agreeing. It seemed as if the alcohol had started to run through Yeonjun’s body and Soobin noticed that his hyung had started to feel off. They went back to the corner where the couches were. He saw Hyuka dancing with the crowd as he sat at one of the couches, he couldn’t help but smile as he saw Kai enjoy his first party. If he was invited to a party like this back when he was on his first year, he probably would’ve gone to more. He turned back to Yeonjun to thank him for inviting them, when he noticed sadness in his hyung’s eyes.

“Are you okay, hyung?”

“Soobinie, do you think I'm too conceited?” Yeonjun asked softly. Soobin had heard him clearly but if they were to have this conversation, they both needed to easily hear and understand each other. Alcohol is a depressant after all, he didn’t expect his hyung to feel so down though since everyone was having loads of fun. He then pulled Yeonjun out to a more secluded place outside, by the gardens.

The cool air greeted them as soon as they dropped into one of the lawn chairs, sprawling out to stare up at the night sky. Yeonjun just probably needed a breath of fresh air to calm down. His hyung had always been hyped up, happy and cool. All his worries probably came crashing down on him. There was a comfortable silence for a while, until Soobin decided to break it.

“What did you mean by that, hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“You asked me if I think you’re conceited … why, hyung?”

Yeonjun fiddled with the ends of his shirt, Soobin studied Yeonjun’s behavior. He wouldn’t push him if he didn’t want to share his problems but his hyung looked like he’s needing someone to lean on.

“Well, it’s nothing really…”

Lies. He noticed that Yeonjun was really bad at lying. For him, Yeonjun does appear to be a person oozing with pride, yet as he get to know him more by the day, he knew that there was more to Choi Yeonjun than he really lets out.

“It’s not nothing if it troubles you a lot, hyung.”

He saw the older hesitating, but then Yeonjun leaned back, as if to steady himself, and let all his troubles out.

“It’s just- I don’t know, really… sometimes, I just think that, I’m not really great, you know? But people are, like, expecting a lot, because _‘he’s Choi Yeonjun’, ‘he’ll never disappoint’_ and that _‘he probably thinks he’s so great that he’ll never fail’..._ Of course, I hear a lot of rumors about me and sometimes… I dunno,”

Soobin did his best to look supportive enough and to not interrupt his hyung’s thoughts before sharing his own opinion. 

Yeonjun took a deep breath before he continued, “Sometimes, I think- I should do my very best but what if I _did_ fail, Binnie? What if this time around, I _cannot_ be the best. What if I _failed_ everyone and everybody? What if I’m not really as great as everyone, myself included, thought I’ll be? What will I be then?” 

  
Yeonjun sadly sighed. “... I probably sound like I needed a lot of attention.”

Soobin was silent for a while. He didn’t know that these things went through his hyung’s head. Yeonjun was talented enough and even if he was, the more he got to know him, he saw how hardworking he also was. It’s as if Yeonjun was scared that everything he had would be taken away from him if he didn’t. He wasn’t even obnoxious about his success, everyone just recognized the payoff of all his hard work.

“But you don’t, hyung. You don’t need attention because it just naturally comes to you.” 

Soobin just softly smiled and took his hyung’s hand, drawing little circles to comfort him. 

“Everything, everyone, you easily draw them near, because you’re that good, in fact, you’re that great. Everyone was expecting a lot because they _knew_ you could do it. _Because you are Choi Yeonjun_.”

Soobin pulled Yeonjun a bit closer as he continued to hold his hand to reassure him. Being on top meant everyone looked up to you but that also meant that others would want to pull you down. 

“You proved yourself, hyung, you’ve shown your talent, your qualities, what you could do and you have every right to be proud of that. All the hard work you’ve showcased, were all yours to take. That doesn’t mean you’re conceited.”

He didn’t want Yeonjun to experience the harshness of being pulled down. Not now, when he suddenly doubted his own capabilities and not when he believed that Yeonjun was doing his best to be the best. He’s not letting Yeonjun stress about things he shouldn’t even be worried about.

“I saw you dance once, it wasn’t even a full on performance, you were just practicing, yet I know… That you’re gonna shake up the stage. Because you’re talented and because you worked hard for it, I’m pretty sure you'll be the best and your performance would be remarkable.”

  
  


Soobin didn’t know how to process what happened next. In his not-so-drunk mind, he felt a bit dizzy. He just suddenly felt a pair of soft lips on his own. It was just a quick peck, not even longer than 20 seconds, when Yeonjun pulled away. His hyung looked shy and startled by what he just did. Soobin just felt stunned.

“I- I’m- fuck. I’m so sorry, Binnie.” Yeonjun’s face was red. All red, and he didn’t know if it’s because he’s drunk or if he’s embarrassed. “I didn’t know what I was thinking.”

He was pretty much dumbfounded, mind blank and Soobin just leaned down and finally, _finally_ once his brain started working once again, he pulled Yeonjun in for another kiss.

The way they melt into each other sent short circuits in Soobin’s brain and shut down all coherency he’d tried to hold onto. Yeonjun’s hand snaked through his hair and he heard Yeonjun moan as he wrapped his arms around Soobin’s body, his other hand was pulling him closer. Soobin could only register the way the kiss deepened yet somehow it was still not enough. 

_Fuck_

Soobin licked Yeonjun’s bottom lip, asking for entrance which his hyung had granted immediately, he parted his lips and felt a thumb gently pressed against his jaw. Yeonjun’s tongue was warm as it gently slipped underneath his and gently coaxed it into his mouth. He felt Yeonjun leaning back a little into the chair, hand reaching up to curl around the wrist pressed against his cheek.

Familiar with the taste of Yeonjun, it was like his tongue had a memory of its own. He would never admit it but he never quite stopped thinking about this. Even if he just kissed Yeonjun once, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t forget it. The kiss tasted like alcohol yet there’s something there that’s so identifiably Yeonjun. He just had that one chug Jihoon offered and a few shots yet he felt overly intoxicated. _Yeonjun is intoxicating_. 

And maybe it's a little unconventional, he knew friends weren’t supposed to be kissing but all he knew was that kissing Yeonjun had never felt wrong.

Yeonjun had licked a little more eagerly into his mouth, swallowed down the soft keen that spilled past Yeonjun’s lips. It's gotten a bit too windy to be doing what they're doing outside and after a while, the sweat's cooled on his body and Soobin’s shirt was too thin to protect him against the icy wind.

He noticed Yeonjun shudder as he suddenly pulled away from the kiss, resting his head on Soobin’s shoulder, hanging on tight. Soobin looked over him with heavy eyes and swollen lips. His hyung looked like he was about to fall asleep. "Do you wanna go back inside?"

Yeonjun just nodded, hanging on to him as Soobin tried to assist his hyung. Beomgyu and Taehyun were nowhere to be seen while Kai still seemed to be enjoying himself, it was his first party afterall. Yeonjun however seemed almost out of it, that’s why Soobin had finally decided to carry him and call a taxi to go home. He doesn’t know where Yeonjun’s dorm room was and thought he’ll take him to his place instead. He’d probably just text the others that they’re leaving. He couldn’t just leave Yeonjun alone, and at this point, Soobin didn’t have the energy to enjoy the party anymore.

Riding the taxi back to their campus, Soobin only had the time to process everything that happened. With Yeonjun sleeping by his side, leaning comfortably against his neck, had he felt so confused.

And the _Sixth_ challenge that Soobin had faced that week, was dealing with Yeonjun after kissing each other yet again, where both of them had gladly participated and were both somewhat aware. Drunk or not, he doesn’t know how he’d face Yeonjun afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m having fun reading your cute comments 🥺 I really appreciate all of them and I usually twt about them too. Some are really adorable too 😂
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and hits 😭💕 I hope you’ll continue to enjoy the following chapters~ 
> 
> I’ll probably put the next one up in its as usual schedule; either at start or end of the next week~


	7. Seven Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun pushes himself to his limits as he noticed 7 things he hated about Soobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this came really late and I hated it too T-T  
> I had this major writer’s block and had problems with certain things that I always ended up having two options to choose from 😔 I hoped it all went okay…
> 
> btw I didn’t number the seven things so I guess you’ll just read thru it?

Yeonjun woke up in a room that wasn’t his own and it took him a few minutes to recognize the room he was in. He’s been inside Soobin’s dorm for quite a bunch of times to recognize the room; touching the completely white sheets, seeing clean surroundings, and this distinct smell that only Soobin had. He turned his body sideways and realized that the younger was actually sleeping beside him, only a few inches away from him. Yeonjun took another moment to make sure that he was completely awake and not dreaming. 

He silently observed the younger’s face as he slept, just like he did the last time he was here too. To think that he was this close to Soobin just a week ago still felt surreal and currently, the younger was by his side for the second time, he must’ve been dreaming. 

Completely drawn to the younger and convincing himself that he wasn’t being creepy, Yeonjun scooted closer just to enjoy the view. He loved how relaxed Soobin’s face looked while sleeping; how messy his hair was due to twisting and turning, how his nose scrunched from time to time whenever he heard a particular noise, disturbing his sleep. Yeonjun found it really comforting to see Soobin sleeping soundly, and he would actually love to see this every morning. Finally, he got distracted by Soobin’s lips, which was always pink and soft—like how it felt against his and how Yeonjun remembered having those lips on his just the night before. It made his heart flutter.

Not that he was completely unaware of what happened that night, he remembered every detail since he wasn’t even drunk at all. Falling asleep in Soobin’s arms was probably his defense mechanism as Yeonjun didn’t want to face the outcome of what he did, what they did. Soobin seemed sober the rest of the night, yet he didn’t want to confirm Soobin's memory or risk anything that could break his current relationship with the taller. 

He was usually the type to take what he always wanted to take yet whenever he was around Soobin, he found himself being a lot careful of his actions. His thoughts had always supplied that _it’s better if they stayed friends than nothing at all_. It’s why what happened last night, might be a big mistake on his part, nevertheless it’s what made his night absolutely memorable.

Soobin groaned, a sign of waking up, with eyes slowly fluttering. Yeonjun panicked, scrambling to get on his feet, trying to escape the room as silent as he could. 

_Why didn’t I think of leaving earlier?_ , he thought to himself, _Oh, right cause I’m stupid_.

Yet it was too late, Soobin had already opened his eyes, seeing Yeonjun in such a flustered state as he tried to get up from the bed.

“Hyung?”

“Hey, good morning, Binnie,” Yeonjun sheepishly greeted, turning to face the younger. “Did I wake you?”

“Where were you going?” the younger asked, voice deep, his eyes still not fully awake as he sat by his bed, hand going through his hair, messing it up more, easily distracting Yeonjun from his escape. It took a few moments before Yeonjun recovered from his stupor and decided to think of another bullshit excuse just to reassure the younger.

“I was about to go home...” He noticed how Soobin frowned at what he said, yet it went by so quickly that Yeonjun wasn’t sure if it really happened or not. Soobin retrieved the pillow beside him and pulled it over to hug it, waiting for Yeonjun’s explanation. “I look and smell shit, Binnie. I have to go home and shower.”

Soobin scoffed at that, “Yeah, you really do,” laughing as Yeonjun slapped his arms.

“Yah, I didn’t ask to be disrespected so early in the morning!”

Soobin grabbed his phone from the bedside table and showed the screen to Yeonjun. “It’s 2pm hyung, I wouldn’t really call it ‘early morning’.”

“Fine, smartass...Wait 2 pm?!” Yeonjun knew that they woke up late, but not _that_ late. Seeing as Yeonjun struggled to find his phone, Soobin tilted his chin, pointing to the other bedside table, where his things were. 

“Yup, I mean I wouldn’t be surprised, we left the party at around 3am or so...”

  
  


Awkward silence filled up the room, neither of them had anything to say and Yeonjun took this as a sign to leave. He gathered his things, not wanting to bring another awkward moment, “Then I guess, I should really leave now and take that shower.”

Soobin hummed as he watched his hyung as he walked towards the table, not saying anything. 

“Thank you, Soobinie...” Yeonjun struggled with words, not knowing what to say, “You know… for last night...”

The younger male nodded, eyes not leaving Yeonjun as if he was searching something, yet chose to shake his head and smile at him, “Anytime, hyung.”

Different thoughts swarmed Yeonjun’s head as he walked back towards his place. Bothered by everything that happened back at Soobin’s dorm. He didn’t want to have an awkward situation—it had been awkward enough for him, but Soobin acted as if nothing happened last night. It was as if Yeonjun just had another sleepover or that it was just another normal day. _Did he forget?_ or did _he choose to ignore it?_ Somehow this placed a bitter taste on his tongue yet Yeonjun was thankful that Soobin still acted normally around him after everything.

  
  


“Thank goodness you weren’t home last night!” Jihoon greeted him as he entered their room. 

Same old thing, everything looked just how he left it but still couldn’t help but be wary since Jihoon was shitface drunk last night. Walking towards the couches, he laid down for a while before taking his shower, “Please tell me you didn’t fuck on my bed.”

“Rest assured I also just got home a few hours ago…” Yeonjun raised his brows at that, no wonder Jihoon looked chirpy for someone who should’ve been suffering a bad hangover. “You on the other hand…” Jihoon leisurely sat by his feet and Yeonjun could already feel an upcoming interrogation, “It’s about time you get laid bro!”

Yeonjun sighed, tired of explaining, of his unwanted thoughts, of his unrequited feelings, and he’s basically just tired of repeating this over and over again. He just wanted to take a quick shower, get some rest, and not answer Jihoon’s daily interview and gossip.

“Why do you always assume that something happened? I told you a hundred times now. Nothing would ever happen since Soobin is in love with Huening…”

“I don’t really see that though,” Yeonjun couldn’t resist rolling his eyes at that. Of course he wouldn’t notice, he isn’t friends with Soobin and the others. He hated the fact that he always felt somewhat hopeful whenever Jihoon implied things, but he knew the truth. “What I did _see_ was him carrying you out of the party last night.”

“I was tired and I’m still tired, I just want to rest and I do not know what-, ” Yeonjun was about to retaliate when he suddenly received a notification from his phone. Jihoon, like the gossip that he was, curiously looked over to see Yeonjun’s messages.

* * *

**Soobinnie**

_Hyung, the kids wanted us to come over for some brunch. That is if you wanted to? I could just tell them you’re not feeling well, if you don’t want to..._

_No! I’m fine besides I really needed to eat too~_

**Soobinnie**

_Okay :) I’ll text you where_

_Yes! ^^ I’ll be there in a sec_

* * *

  
  
  


“Yet here you are, _absolutely_ whipped for him.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, moving away from Yeonjun’s personal space. “Kids? What are you married or something?”

“Shut up.”

  
  


He took a quick shower, slamming the door at Jihoon after hearing yet another sarcastic remark from his roommate and texted Soobin, informing him that he was on his way. Everyone was already at the small cafe when he arrived, it was the first place Soobin and Yeonjun ate at a few months ago.

“Yeonjun hyung!” Beomgyu wildly waved his hands for Yeonjun to notice him. All of them looked tired yet somehow both Taehyun and Beomgyu seemed lively enough despite looking fatigued. Kai seemed to be sporting a bad headache with the way he slumped half of his body to the table with Soobin rubbing his back to give the younger some sense of comfort.

Yeonjun decided to sit beside Beomgyu, right in front of Soobin and Kai, as Beomgyu happily announced that he had ordered the meal for them. “It’ll be my treat hyung!” Boemgyu continued to chatter on, “Since you gave us access to one of the best parties of my life!”

“Ugh!” Kai had groaned from his seat, shocking all four of them, “I am never drinking any more liquor for the rest of my life”

“You’re just saying that now, I bet you’ll still be drinking once you attended another party,” Taehyun snorted. “Besides, you were the one who seemed to be enjoying the most out of all of us.”

Hueningkai continued on whining, this time leaning against Soobin, the taller wrapping his arms around the younger as Kai made himself comfortable on his hyung’s shoulder. Yeonjun silently observed the two, swallowing the heavy lump on his throat. He was supposed to be used to this, this had happened all the time, yet somehow it still bothered him. 

“What happened to you two?” Taehyun interrupted his trance, facing both him and Soobin. 

“Yeah, If I hadn’t received Soobin hyung’s message, we’ll probably think you both ended up dead or ditched us or something” Beomgyu had concurred.

“Yeah, right, you two were the ones who snuck off early on,” Kai had grinned from his position on Soobin’s neck, turning a bit to face both Beomgyu and Taehyun, “Saw you going upstairs, just as Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung snuck out by the gardens”

“Hyung needed some fresh air.” Soobin answered, not affected by how Kai pointed it out. If Yeonjun was to answer that, he would seem as if he was caught red handed just like how both Beomgyu and Taehyun were, blushing, avoiding Kai’s peering eyes.

“I was completely out of it, I don’t even remember what happened, ” Yeonjun babbled, avoiding Soobin’s stare as he explained, “Thankfully Soobinie was with me or else I’d probably made a fool of myself.”

“Yeah...” Soobin trailed off, pulling Kai closer to him as the younger continued on clinging onto his side, cuddling in front of him, “I took hyung home since he seemed really tired.” _Soobin smiled,_ explaining, _but it didn't reach his eyes_ , as if forcing it, which is one of the things Yeonjun _hated_ the most. He noticed Soobin acting awkward around him throughout their meal and it made him even more uncomfortable. It’s as if Soobin’s having a hard time talking to him when they managed to be really _really_ close these past few months. Beomgyu, Kai and even Taehyun, filled out their silence as they continued to talk more about the party.

  
  


The invisible tension had somehow dispersed when it was finally time for dessert. Ice cream was obviously the only answer to the question as Soobin asked what flavors they wanted. 

“I’ll have the strawberry flavor one”

“Cookie dough, please”

Taehyun and Beomgyu said respectively. Yeonjun was about to say what flavor he wanted but Soobin had already stood up to order some. 

“Hyung,” Kai had asked as Soobin returned with the ice creams, confusion written on his face. “Why didn’t you ask Yeonjun hyung’s?” 

“Both mint choco for you guys, right?” Soobin shrugged, replying to the younger, “It’s hyung’s favorite flavor and it’s your hungover food.”

Taehyun and Beomgyu’s reaction had clearly shown their dislike for the flavor, quickly grabbing their ice creams as they playfully swatted the mint choco ones.

“I knew you’d be my favorite hyung!” Kai gleefully said, turning to Yeonjun. “They all hated the flavor and I had no one to count on. Please defend me on this Yeonjun hyung!” The younger had reached out to grab Yeonjun’s arms and playfully begged his hyung to defend him from the mint choco haters. 

Yeonjun couldn't help but smile at Kai’s cute reaction but Soobin just had to ruin everything by voicing out his hate for the said flavor. 

“You both have weird tastes and you’re happy about it? It’s like you’re eating toothpaste. Why would you want to eat something you clean your teeth with?” Soobin just casually insulted his favorite flavor. Yeonjun glared at the taller’s snotty remark. _He hated Soobin’s tasteless taste buds_ , which was one of the flaws he saw from the taller earlier on. 

“Why don’t you just taste it first?” Yeonjun challenged, scooping from his cup and force-feeding it to the taller, “It tastes good!”

Both Yeonjun and Huening eagerly waited for Soobin’s reaction, like two puppies waiting to be fed. Soobin sighed as he swallowed, giving up, “I mean... It’s not bad. But I still wouldn’t choose it if I had other choices.”

The oldest and the youngest had cheered for their win, Taehyun just shook his head laughing while Beomgyu just stared into the mint choco filled cup as he seemed to be thinking of something else.

“Do you still have to brush your teeth after eating mint choco ice cream?” Beomgyu curiously asked, everyone looking disturbed by the question. Only Taehyun had the energy to answer the stupid question. “Of course, babe why wouldn’t you?”

“Ahh… yeah... because it still has chocolate in it right? What if you just eat mint then?”

Everyone just stared at each other for a short moment before laughing loudly, even Beomgyu himself. Basically everything just goes back to normal like Yeonjun had guessed. 

* * *

The whole dance club was exhausted, it was almost their preliminary exams, which meant everyone was on their shortest temper and even shorter time constraints. With their dance competition looming at them, even Jimin hyung’s usual cheerful demeanor has changed, making him one of the pickiest and hardest to please during practice. One month may be a long period for others but for the club, their time was ticking at a faster rate.

Jimin hyung has taken to snapping at the freshmen and glaring at anyone who messes up a step. Beomgyu was one of the unlucky victims of today’s practice and Yeonjun had wanted to comfort the younger but right now might not be the best time. Beomgyu had been making a lot of mistakes and Yeonjun’s sure that this was all because of the pressure he was feeling. Soobin had mentioned that Beomgyu was probably feeling insecure of his talent which shocked him since Beomgyu had always been confident of his skills. It was one of their water breaks when Yeonjun had finally decided to approach the younger.

“You know that hyung’s just stressed about all of this, that's why he lashed out on you, right?” Yeonjun had said, casually sitting beside Beomgyu as the younger continued to stare at the ground, probably self-loathing. “You’re one of the best dancers here, Gyu-ah, I think Jimin hyung’s just pressuring you because he knew you could do better. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the next dance leader.”

The younger had finally snorted at that. “As if you’ll allow someone to steal your title.” Beomgyu smiled, he might not be voicing it out but Yeonjun guessed that he really needed to hear that. “Watch yourself hyung, I might just suddenly steal your spot.”

Yeonjun smiled at the friendly challenge, glad that Beomgyu was finally back on his feet. Practice went smoothly afterwards, Jimin giving the team a thumbs up as they finally completed their dance without any fail. A few more hours of practice later, the studio was almost empty with the exception of Jimin, Wooyoung, Chan, Beomgyu and him. Beomgyu repeated his whole routine and his previous mistakes, asking Jimin hyung to check on him while he practiced.

The other three had been working on their unit choreography until everyone had drained all their energies, leaving their bodies completely exhausted. Chan and Wooyoung had just left a few minutes ago, leaving him, Beomgyu and Jimin hyung. Beomgyu seemed to be waiting for Taehyun while Yeonjun was just used to closing up the studio with Jimin. 

Jimin had sat beside Yeonjun as the younger rested, “How’s your solo going?”

“I’m working on it, hyung.”

“You better be, you know how important this is especially for the three of you right?”

“Of course, hyung, I heard Chan and Wooyoung both had to find separate studios just to practice in peace,” Yeonjun said as he decided to lay down onto the floor, “Kai had given me the demo already, I’ve been using that ever since. I just had to wait for the actual song so I could practice with it.”

Jimin hummed at that and after a moment of comfortable silence, Jimin had spoke once again, “I gave the unit choreography to show you guys that whoever wins the solo competition doesn’t mean that only that person had the reins to choreograph.That all of three of you could work together, whoever the next leader would be. But I know that you’ll be seeing this as a challenge Yeonjunnie.”

Yeonjun snorted at that, “It’s always a competition for me hyung, you know that. Not that I’m competing with anyone else, I’m actually competing with myself.”

“But that doesn’t mean you have to push yourself to the limits,” Jimin said sternly, “I learned that the hard way. Don’t ever repeat the same mistakes that I had.”

With that, Jimin threw the studio keys on Yeonjun’s lying figure, signaling that he was allowing Yeonjun to practice whenever he wanted, leaving him and passed-out Beomgyu inside the studio. Yeonjun could help but feel happy as he held onto the keys, glad that his hyung trusted him. It was only a matter of minutes before another group filled in the studio and Yeonjun wondered why Taehyun was with Soobin and Hueningkai.

“Why do you keep on passing out on the floor, hyung,” Taehyun had called out, “You know how this tends to give you colds.”

Beomgyu had stretched his arms out for the younger to pull him up which his boyfriend easily complied to. Hueningkai and Soobin on the other hand, had padded towards where he was.

“Is this how you guys always are after practice?” Kai asked, sitting down beside Yeonjun’s limp body, “Lying down on the floor?”

Yeonjun had to laugh at that, it seemed to happen more often than he realized, “Not really, but for Beomgyu, yes, he always ends up on the floor.”

Kai had then handed him a harddrive, placing it dramatically on his chest, “Here’s my most precious compositions, oh almighty, Choi Yeonjun. I should entrust it to you just like how I treasure my life. It’s finally really done and I’ll probably just add a few more tweaks to it, but you could use that now.”

Yeonjun had quickly sat up at that as he held the drive firmly into his chest, staring at their maknae with wide eyes.

“The song’s done?”

Hueningkai happily nodded and Yeonjun couldn’t help but ruffle the younger’s hair. “Good work, Hyuka! Wow, I can really start my practice now.”

“Yes! All that hard work had finally paid off! Please use it and take care of it hyung~”

“Of course, thank you so much.”

“I should be the one thanking you, hyung! You’re dancing to my compositions! I mean I’m just starting... but this really meant a lot to me.” Kai had given him his brightest smile, standing up and trailing after Taehyun and Beomgyu. Soobin on the other hand stayed by his side while the younger ones helped Beomgyu to his feet.

“Aren’t you joining them?” Yeonjun asked, sitting up and leaning against the wall, still tired from today’s practice. 

“They can handle Beomgyu.”

“And you think I couldn’t handle myself?”

Soobin had shrugged, scooting closer to his side. Soobin had been silently observing him as soon as he entered and Yeonjun couldn’t understand why. Things had been a little bit awkward between them the past few days, they barely talked, but nevertheless they still hung out together. They stayed silent for a while, Soobin offering his shoulder for him to rest his head on which Yeonjun gladly took. He was waiting for the taller to say something as they watched the other three bicker on the other side of the room.

“I just know that you’ll be great on stage, hyung.” Soobin suddenly said, which flustered Yeonjun.

“Tha-Thank you, Soobinie” That came out completely out of nowhere. Yeonjun has to calm his already beating heart which seemed to grow louder as time passed by. He could feel the heat rushing to his face. “You have to be right there and watch me once I perform.”

“Of course hyung, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

* * *

Days and weeks went by and it’s all the same routine. But there are subtle changes that Yeonjun couldn’t ignore. Things weren’t the same as before but Yeonjun could feel that Soobin was trying his best to get closer to him or maybe that’s just Yeonjun’s head playing tricks on him. The fact that he’s with Soobin almost 24/7 was something Yeonjun didn’t expect. 

It all started when Soobin had joined Taehyun whenever the redhead picked up his boyfriend from practice. The two had been observing him and Beomgyu for the past few days with Hueningkai tagging along occasionally. Yeonjun didn’t understand why the taller had to come, not that it’s unwanted, but it just distracted him a lot. Jimin hyung had been teasing him about it. His hyung told him to take it as a good sign because once Soobin and Taehyun came, it just meant that it was time for them to stop practicing.

They still kept up with their usual library schedules and Soobin just seemed to know where he was most of the time. _He hated how nice his dongsaeng could be_. Soobin had been really attentive of what he was doing the past few days. He had been bringing Yeonjun some coffee whenever they studied early in the morning, he had been accompanying him whenever he went home from practice, and how he helped Yeonjun find the books he needed for his essays. 

There was one time Soobin just casually sat beside him, plugging his airpods onto Yeonjun’s ear, texting him a bit later saying; _‘just listen to the music for a while and take a minute rest’_ when he was stressing out about one of his essays. To say he really appreciated these things would be an understatement but Yeonjun was already whipped for the younger that he might’ve just exploded at this point. He’s been trying to keep his emotions at bay but the younger seemed to be unaware of how he’s affecting Yeonjun to an extent.

He decided that _he hated Soobin’s height_ ‘cause the younger sure did use it against him. From simply teasing him over a bottle of water, telling his hyung that he has to jump over if he wanted to drink, to the moment where he couldn’t reach something over a shelf in the library. Soobin just had to be on his back really _really_ close to him to reach for the book he wanted and give it to him with this annoying smirk as he towered over Yeonjun, making his heart flutter against his chest.

“Sometimes, it’s okay to ask for help, hyung.” Soobin said smugly, occupying Yeonjun’s personal space. “You can’t do everything alone.”

And Yeonjun didn’t know just what to reply to that.

* * *

Now that he had the keys, Yeonjun had the opportunity to stay in the studio early in the mornings or late at nights. At first, it was just him, until Beomgyu decided to join him, pulling the rest for their friend group in.

He couldn’t say he’s surprised whenever Kai and Soobin played around the studio while he and Beomgyu warmed up for practice. Not that he isn’t used to how cuddly the two were whenever they were somehow near each other.

He wouldn’t say he’s jealous, maybe just annoyed at a moderate amount, but _he still hated the fact that he didn’t have Soobin’s attention, how Soobin was ignoring him_ whenever the youngest was around. Sure, it’s not as if Soobin’s sole attention should be on him or something, yet there’s still this petty side of him that he just couldn’t ignore. _It’s not his fault he’s foolishly in love with the taller._

So instead of being distracted by the couples in the room, he started to focus on his own solo, like how he should be. Not noticing the eyes on him as he practiced for hours non stop.

More practice, more studying and lesser amount of sleep. Yeonjun knew he was starting to overwork himself. Their preliminary exams had started and Yeonjun was getting more anxious than ever. He still had this bad habit of staying late into the night with not just Jimin reprimanding him, but also Jihoon and Beomgyu. Wooyoung and Chan had been doing really well and Yeonjun’s afraid that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the two.

It was almost 10pm, the usual time that Taehyun and Soobin would come, but it’s been hours since Beomgyu left to study for their exams, so he wasn’t expecting anyone to come by this hour. Everyone was busy studying for their exams while Yeonjun was here in the studio basking hours for their competition. He could always study the next day, it’s why he always studied earlier anyways.

_‘You only have a week left.’_ He told himself, ‘ _Are you going to give up when you’re so close?’_

He continued on practicing, not minding the time, pushing through the whole choreography, for the team, for their unit, for his solo. He was so immersed into his dance, not noticing that someone had just entered the room.

“Why are you still here, hyung?” startled, Yeonjun stopped mid step to face the intruder. Soobin didn’t look pleased as he saw Yeonjun still inside the dance studio, holding a bag of what seemed to be snacks and cans of coffee, “It’s 3am, your exams will start at 10.”

_He hated how worrisome Soobin had always been._

“What are you doing here?”

“I should be the one asking you that, hyung. I was just passing by, I got some snacks for myself since I’ve been studying when I saw the lights for this studio on, and I know there’s only one stupid person who’ll be dumb enough to stay here at this ungodly hour.” Soobin retaliated, the younger was glaring at him at this point. He didn’t want to argue with Soobin since he’s tired but... 

“Then how come you’re still awake, then?” Yeonjun argued, Soobin had no right to reprimand him when he himself was still awake. “You also have exams later.”

“I just woke up and my exams are not until late afternoon. Hyung, you should go sleep, you’re draining yourself.” Soobin insisted, grabbing Yeonjun’s bag from the side of the room, leaving Yeonjun with no other choice but to lock up and follow him.

* * *

The competition finally arrived and Yeonjun could see the whole team trying their best to control a bunch of nerves that flowed throughout their body. Not that Yeonjun’s any better, he had his lips pursed, doing some breathing exercises to keep calm while Beomgyu talked even more, babbling about anything and everything. Taehyun had been holding his boyfriend’s hand listening to what the older was saying to ease him.

When they actually arrive at the venue, Yeonjun had gotten quieter and quieter while Beomgyu spoke even faster than normal.

Soobin had somehow caught up to them and soon they’re standing side by side.

Jimin gave him a look from his spot in front of the whole team and Yeonjun would never understand how sharp his eyes were. The taller boy then pulled his hyung aside, placing a comforting hand on Yeonjun’s arm. “Relax, hyung.” 

Yeonjun’s eyes focused on him, searching for comfort from the taller, body filled with anxiety and nervousness. “What if I mess up, Binnie? No one on the team is going to be there and it’ll just be me making an embarrassment out of myself.”

“You’ll be fine.” Soobin gave his arm a little squeeze. “I’ve seen you practice a billion times and you’ve spent so much time perfecting every single step, even I have the steps down. And if you ever mess up— like that would ever happen, Beomgyu, Taehyun and I would remove every plug and light in there, alright?”

Yeonjun laughed and nodded, finding a bit of ease, “Promise?”

Soobin huffed. “I promise.”

“Pinky swear on it.” Yeonjun thought it was childish but he’d do anything to stop this anxiousness racing through him, lifting his finger towards Soobin.

The taller had laughed at the gesture yet he linked his finger around Yeonjun’s anyway. “You’re going to be the best one out there.”

“If you say so.” Yeonjun grinned, not letting go of the taller’s pinky until it was time for them to enter the backstage.

The entire team did great, and Yeonjun was starting to feel hyped up as they did absolutely well in the first round. He was also proud of what he, Wooyoung and Chan had showcased, the crowd going crazy as they ended their unit performance.

It was when his solo competition began that his nerves had once again started to eat him up alive. But then he saw Soobin standing up to cheer him on, along with his other friends, even annoying Jihoon who was standing on his chair as he shouted Yeonjun’s name.

The music started playing and Yeonjun had no other choice but to dance to his heart’s content. Every beat of the music coursing through his body, every step, memorized by heart. He listened to Huening’s hard work and conveyed both their hardships through his dance. It’s like things have been going too well for Yeonjun because with his final turn, his leg had started to cramp. 

Yeonjun still pushed through the last seconds of his performance, ending it on his knees, just as planned. He heard a loud pop as he dropped and all Yeonjun could feel was the searing pain up his right leg. He gritted his teeth at the ugly sight of his foot twisted and winced as the lights went off, signaling the end of his performance.

He ended up with a broken leg. The only good thing about that is the fact that it happens after his performance and not before.

Yeonjun was aware of Jimin and Beomgyu talking and fussing at him but he just couldn’t focus. He felt his vision going white with pain as they carried him off the stage. He totally understood why Jimin hyung had warned him and told him to rest a few days before the competition but he was really stubborn.

“Could you still stand? Goodness, it’s okay, you’ll be okay, Junie.”

He tried, he really did but all he can focus is pain making it’s way over his body. Yeonjun bit down onto his bottom lip to keep from crying out when they jar his leg and settle him onto the stretcher. He caught a glimpse of Beomgyu and reached out to tell him not to worry and not let anyone from their friend circle know. He doesn’t want anyone worrying about him.

“Gyu, please don’t tell anyone, okay? Promise me! and get Hyuka’s drive, please don’t forget, okay? The drive is still there inside.”

Beomgyu looked like he was about to cry looking at Yeonjun’s state yet he still nodded, “Yes, hyung, I’ll get it. Please stop fussing over the drive when you have a broken leg!”

Yeonjun just smiled at the younger as they pulled him in the ambulance. He blanked out for the rest of his trip, ignoring the pain that consumed him as the fatigue he’s held in for the entire month, tired out his whole body.

When he woke up, only Jimin was there in the room with him. Jimin told him that only a few hours had passed and they could go back to the venue now since his leg had been casted. He would probably have to get used to the crutches and the pain that was his right leg. Thankfully, the doctor said that it’s gonna be fine after a month and some rest.

Yeonjun easily came first and they had also placed first in their group competition. They placed second for their unit competition. Everyone started to pack up, congratulate each other, and celebrate their win.

He couldn’t help but smile as he saw the messages from their group chat started to flood;

**BeomieBear**

_WE WON!!!!🎉_

**KaiCutie**

_I knew you guys would win! 🎉🎉🎉🎉_

_I wish I was able to watch! 😫_

_I bet you guys did great! 😤😤😤_

**Taehyunie**

_They were so amazing!_

_Congratulations on your win Yeonjun hyung!_

_Congratulations Beomie hyung~_

  
  


_Thank you so much, you guys!_

_We wouldn’t be able to do it without your support!_

_Kai’s song was amazing! Everyone loved your music~_

**KaiCutie**

_Really?_

_Wahh! Thank you Yeonjunie hyung! T-T_

_Which reminds me,_

_I handed your drive to Beomgyu,_

_I wasn’t able to retrieve it yet because.._

**Soobinie**

_Congratulations, gyu_

_Congrats, hyung 😊_

  
  


More congratulations and a promise of celebration had piled up the chat yet only one notification had distracted him, going into Soobin’s contact and messaging the younger.

  
  


_Hi~ Are you gonna tell me ‘I told you so’?_

**Soobinie**

_No, I’m here to tell you I’m proud of you, hyung._

_Didn’t even need us to turn off the lights_

_Seriously, good job out there, hyung_

_I knew you’d win_

_The judges probably liked Kai’s track_

_It was perfect._

**Soobinie**

_That doesn’t mean that you weren’t._

_Hyung…_

_????_

**Soobinie**

_I should probably treat you for winning_

_Want to go out?_

Yeonjun had to read the message a couple of times before snapping out of it. Did Soobin just ask him out? He’s not totally delusional, right? After everything that happened, he might’ve still been at the hospital dreaming. But with the realistic tight hug that just got from Beomgyu, meant that he was completely awake.

_who would say no to free food? 😊💕_

**Soobinie**

_We can meet after your celebration?_

_we can leave now_

**Soobinie**

_You should be with your team first, hyung._

_I’ll pick you up once you’re done_

_it’s probably just gonna last an hour_

_since everyone’s tired_

_Let’s say a quarter to ten?_

**Soobinie**

_9:45 it is, see you hyung~_

_See you soon, Binnie~_

Beomgyu and Jimin helped Yeonjun get into Jimin’s car as they went off to celebrate their win. Even with his crutches, Yeonjun still felt happy about everything else. Life wasn’t always perfect. He’s glad that he can now rest easily, no more anxiety and add a bonus of a somewhat ‘date’ with the guy he’s been deeply in love with the past few months. Yeonjun wouldn’t ask for anything else.

He had patiently waited for the younger by the entrance of the party venue but it was already 10:30 and there were still no signs of the younger. It was starting to worry him a bit. Everyone else had started to leave the venue, leavingYeonjun with his crutches. It was a couple of minutes later when Yeonjun saw Soobin calling from his phone. He couldn’t help the excitement bursting through him as he answered the call. But the call didn’t seem to be great news.

“I’m so sorry, hyung. Kai seems to be in trouble. I need to talk to him for a while and make sure he’s okay…”

“No it’s okay…” Yeonjun felt something heavy down his throat, trying his best not to be bothered by it, “I completely understand… it’s late anyways. Maybe next time?”

“I’ll make sure to make it up to you, hyung. I’m really sorry, hyung. Kai is my priority right now. He needs me.”

The line was cut before Yeonjun had any chance to say anything back. It seemed to be an emergency if Soobin was rushing to get to Kai. He understood that Kai will always be the priority. He should be used to it by now.

_I need you too_. Yeonjun wanted to say that out loud but he didn't. He can’t be selfish. Kai needed Soobin. He just wanted a date with Soobin. Who was he kidding when he thought Soobin was the one who would catch him when he fell.

He knew that from the start yet he threw himself into it because he thought there was even a 0.1% chance that Soobin would choose him first.

He has no one to blame but himself.

It shouldn’t even hurt that Soobin chose to be with Kai instead of him, yet it still did.

Lastly _,Yeonjun hated Soobin for making him hope for something that he shouldn’t even hope for._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys might have seen in my twt that I’m trying my best to update at my usual schedule but I honestly didn’t know where to go after the last chapter and it was giving me a bit of anxiety since I wouldn’t know how to convey the following things that would happen especially with what Yeonjun was going thru after THAT incident :( Sorry for the wait 😔 I hope this chapter made sense though. (Honestly, I'm still not fully satisfied with it but I did my best T-T I really couldn’t write angst 😅)
> 
> I find it kinda ironic since I read a lot of cliches and this is a very much cliche fic yet I still haven’t gone around it 😅 Nevertheless hopefully updates would go smoothly after the following 3 chapters~
> 
> I still hope you enjoyed it T-T Oh, and yeah we’re almost at the half of the whole plot~ 😅 
> 
> my CuriousCat is now linked in my notes too! Feel free to ask questions about my fics<3


	8. Eight Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important choices that Soobin has unknowingly made...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time idk what to say >///< (long endnotes once again)

The morning after the party, Soobin woke up with bright lights filling up his room. Sometimes he really regrets having his bed placed by the big-ass window, but it’s also kind of his fault that he woke up late. Noon maybe? Afternoon? It was probably in the afternoon, his mind supplied. 

Slowly he opened his eyes, catching a very frantic Yeonjun who was still in the clothes that he wore last night—it was again, Soobin’s fault ‘cause he was just too tired and just dropped Yeonjun on his bed as soon as they arrived. Yeonjun looked flustered and lost which made Soobin wonder what his hyung was doing.

“Hyung?”

“Hey, good morning, Binnie,” Yeonjun sheepishly greeted, turning to face the younger. He looked as if he was caught red-handed, “Did I wake you?”

“Where were you going?” 

“I was about to go home...” _It was expected_ , he thought, it was just a bit upsetting that his hyung didn’t even wanna wait for him to wake up and say goodbye. He retrieved the pillow beside him and pulled it over to hug it, waiting for Yeonjun to continue what he was saying. “I look and smell shit, Binnie. I have to go home and shower.”

  
  


He scoffed at that, Yeonjun still looked as he did before entering the party scene last night except for the fact that his hair was all over the place and that he kind of reeked alcohol, still he wouldn’t miss the chance to tease his hyung, “Yeah, you really do,” laughing as Yeonjun slapped his arm.

  
  


“Yah, I didn’t ask to be disrespected so early in the morning!”

  
  


Soobin grabbed his phone from the bedside table, saw the time—as he expected it to be, and showed the screen to Yeonjun. “It’s 2pm hyung, I wouldn’t really call it ‘early morning’.”

“Fine, smartass...Wait 2 pm?!” 

“Yup, I mean I wouldn’t be surprised,” Seeing as Yeonjun struggled to find his phone, Soobin tilted his chin, pointing to the other bedside table, where Yeonjun’s things- like his wallet and phone, were, “we left the party at around 3am or so...”

  
  


Awkward silence filled up the room, Soobin didn’t know what to say after that. He watched as Yeonjun gathered his things, wondering if Yeonjun remembered what happened last night, but Soobin couldn’t ask. It was like a trigger, of something that could possibly change their relationship. But Soobin didn’t know if it was for better or for worse so he chose to keep quiet.

  
  


“Then I guess, I should really leave now and take that shower.” 

  
  


Soobin hummed as he watched his hyung walk towards the table, not saying anything, just watching Yeonjun’s expression. _Did he remember? Did he not? Was Yeonjun hyung trying not to make things awkward unlike me?_ All these thoughts filled his head. Yeonjun seemed like he still wanted to say something so he waited and braced himself for what’s to come.

_'It was a mistake’_

or… 

_‘Please forget that it ever happened’_

or maybe...

_‘I can’t believe we did that. I like you Soobinie but only as friends, you know.’_

  
  


As if Yeonjun would _actually like him_ . It’s a funny thought, Soobin told himself, _delusional_ even. He must’ve been reading a bunch of books. It's bad. Or it could also be a realistic one like...

  
  


_‘Do you remember what happened last night?’_

  
  


Instead, he got another vague response. Unexpected yet expected.

“Thank you, Soobinie...” Yeonjun had said. _For what?_ yet it seems that Yeonjun also had that one prepared, “You know… for last night...”

Staring at Yeonjun’s face, Soobin wondered what _‘last night’_ meant. _Taking care of him? Being there for him? Taking him here? Kissing him? What?_ Instead he nodded, eyes not leaving Yeonjun, trying to wait for something else. Something that even he himself didn’t know what it was he was waiting for, so he chose to shake his head, ignoring everything and smile at his hyung, “Anytime, hyung.” He didn’t want anymore awkwardness, plus he can see that Yeonjun badly wanted to go home as well. 

Memories from the previous night came rushing into his mind as soon as Yeonjun closed the door. He remembered carrying a sleeping Yeonjun, being as careful as possible as he placed him in his bend. How he struggled thinking if he should change Yeonjun’s clothes but couldn’t risk waking the older up. So being tired as he was, physically, mentally and probably emotionally? Soobin just decided to lay down beside Yeonjun and sleep it all off.

That didn’t mean that he forgot that Yeonjun pulled him into a kiss, what Yeonjun’s lips felt like against his. Didn’t mean that he regretted pulling his hyung for another one and that he probably wouldn’t stop himself if not for the fact that Yeonjun had shuddered. Soobin had been dazing and thinking about it until he received a whole train of notification from his phone.

It was a thread of messages all from Hueningkai;

* * *

**Ningning**

_i hope you’re sober enough for this,_

_coz i know im not_

_I feel ded, like my soul is_

_but_

_Beomgyu hyung insisted_

_says it only happens once every year_

_w/c is a complete lie btw coz he does all the time_

_that is he’ll be treating us_

_Brunch_

_So u up for it or nah?_

_Who says no to free food?_

**Ningning**

_knew ur up_

_txt yeonjun hyung too_

_I know he’s with u_

_I don’t know about that, he just left_

**Ningning**

_well, beom hyung says no free food_

_if yeonjun hyung’s not around_

_pls just txt him,_

_Beomgyu doesn’t shut_

* * *

Thankfully, Yeonjun agreed to come and meant Soobin had to shower quickly and leave.

On his way to the cafe -same place where he was also treated by Yeonjun- he saw Kai staggering his way towards the place. He couldn’t help but reach onto him and give him a helping hand. Soobin felt bad for leaving the younger behind, he looked horrible. _He felt like he’d been neglecting Hyuning for the past couple of days_ _._ He probably wouldn’t even leave him last night… but Yeonjun needed help and Kai was having a great time, he wouldn’t want to spoil that. Atleast, that’s what he convinced himself.

Taehyun and Beomgyu happened to arrive first, both looking a bit too chipper compared to the rest of them. Huening immediately slumped onto the table as soon as they arrived. 

“What happened to him?” Beomgyu asked, pointing towards the huge lump on the table.

“Shouldn’t I be asking that to both of you?” Soobin stared accusingly at the couple, “I left you guys with him”

“ _Exactly,_ ” Taehyun pointed out, “You _left._ ”

“Still can’t believe you actually left Hyuka all alone, hyung.” Beomgyu laughed. 

Hyuka groaned in his seat, “Which was great! I don’t need a chaperone. I’m not a baby! I can handle myself!”

Both Taehyun and Beomgyu snorted at that, Soobin on the other hand couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “Yet here you are, _suffering._ ”

Honestly, Taehyun had a point, he left Kai, and that meant the younger had fooled around and drank a bit too much. It was kinda _his_ fault.

“Where _were_ you, hyung? What happened to you and Yeonjun hyung?” Beomgyu asked, but before Soobin could answer his question, Beomgyu was distracted by the arrival of Yeonjun.

Things were as it usually was, all of them bickering and talking. Soobin placed all his attention on Kai, still feeling bad for leaving him behind. He helped the youngest get into a comfortable position. _What would you do without me?_ Soobin had thought as Kai leaned into his shoulder.

  
  


“What happened to you two?” Taehyun asked, facing both him and Yeonjun. 

  
  


“Yeah, If I hadn’t received Soobin hyung’s message, we’ll probably think you both ended up dead or ditched us or something” Beomgyu said.

“Yeah, right, you two were the ones who snuck off early on,” Kai had grinned from his position on his neck, turning a bit to face both Beomgyu and Taehyun, “Saw you going upstairs, just as Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung snuck out by the gardens”

  
  


“Hyung needed some fresh air.” he explained. It was true, the sole reason why they left the scene was because Yeonjun was starting to feel a bit down. He wouldn’t get into details because that’s private and it’s up to Yeonjun if he wanted to talk about it or not.

“I was completely out of it, I don’t even remember what happened, ” Yeonjun retaliated, avoiding Soobin’s stare as he explained, “Thankfully Soobinie was with me or else I’d probably made a fool of myself.”

  
  


_Lies._ Yeonjun was lying again. Soobin didn’t know how he knew, but it’s basically obvious for him. Just with the way his hyung’s been avoiding his gaze, it basically screamed that _Yeonjun is lying_ . So Yeonjun _did_ know what happened last night. Not that Yeonjun had to tell their friends about it, but it felt as if Yeonjun truly didn’t want to voice it out.

  
  


“Yeah...” he trailed off, not knowing what to add to that. Yeonjun seemed completely uncomfortable by the topic so he just pulled Kai closer to him as the younger continued on clinging onto him, “I took hyung home since he seemed really tired.” Soobin smiled, but it probably turned into a grimace. 

  
  


He felt a bit upset thinking that his hyung would have to lie to him, just like how Yeonjun tried to leave without him knowing earlier. It was confusing and Soobin couldn’t understand why so he decided to ignore the nagging feeling, blaming it on how tired he was as well as his concern for his youngest friend.

* * *

  
“Why are you here, hyung?”

“Do you really hate me that much now? That you don’t ever wanna see me?” Soobin asked, teasing the younger, “Is my Ningning all grown up?”

Soobin had been trailing after Huening since the day after the party. He thinks it’s because he hasn’t been around the younger that he craved to be with him all the time. It could also be the guilt of not taking care of his youngest friend, like how he promised him. So he took this as a chance to make-up for the past months as well as the past year where he wasn’t there for his dongsaeng, and followed Kai into their music studio. 

“Please, hyung you haven’t had a problem the past few weeks! You’re always with Yeonjun hyung~”

“Oh...” _Was Kai bothered by that?_ Soobin thought, _I am neglecting him huh?,_ not knowing what to answer the younger, “Um...”

“No, hyung! I didn’t mean to.. It’s not like that...” Kai waved his hand as he shook his head repeatedly, “It’s actually nice to see you with him, because you seem to have loads of fun. Don’t look at me like that! I'm actually glad that you found someone else to nag on.”

“Just say you miss me”

“Hmm…” Kai scrunched his nose in the cutest way like he always does, “How about no? No offense I still see you weekly. Just made me wonder why you’re always here with me, not with Yeonjun hyung. You seem to get along just fine last time I checked.”

“I told you, I want to see you- see how you’re doing.”

“ _ See me? Or avoid Yeonjun hyung? _”

Soobin hasn’t thought of it that way, well maybe he wasn’t as close to Yeonjun compared to what they had been doing before, but they still talked and hung out. He was about to point this out but it’s Hueningkai we’re talking about. He knew he wouldn’t be able to bullshit his way out of this one.

“You’re not exactly subtle, hyung. We’ve known each other for years now. I can even feel the awkward tension between you two these past few days.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“Enough for all of us to notice, yes.” Kai rolled his eyes as if stating a very obvious fact, “Taehyun and Beomgyu hyung think it has something to do with the party.”

He couldn’t believe how observant his friends were. If they noticed how awkward everything was, it just meant that Yeonjun hyung did too. _Fuck, I really am as awkward as everyone think I am, huh?_

“Did something actually happen?” Kai asked, observing and searching Soobin’s face as closely as he could until he came up with his very own conclusion. “Something did, huh?”

Soobin could never lie in front of his dongsaeng, even if he tried. He and Kai knew each other for so long. And the fact that Kai can read him so easily, he didn’t even need to talk. The younger sighed, then eyes turning wide as saucers, “Don’t tell me you guys fu-”

“No!” Soobin exclaimed, covering the younger’s mouth even if it was just the two of them inside the studio, “Not like that we just kissed okay?”

“Yeah… we- we kissed..” Soobin carefully said, he didn’t want the younger to get the wrong idea. It made him nervous, like he was gonna get judged by what he did, “And somehow, I don’t know if hyung knows or he was too drunk to even remember.”

“And so?”

“So? It’s awkward as hell, I don’t even know how to act around him.”

“Why? Hyung, it’s not the first time you’ve kissed Yeonjun hyung. Unless...”

  
  


“Unless, what??” Soobin swore he knew Hueningkai well, but there are times, times like this, where he couldn’t figure out what was going through his head. The younger let out another sigh, Soobin didn’t know if he should feel offended or not. 

“You know what, hyung? Just... talk to him. Only Yeonjun hyung could answer your inner questions.” Turning back to his computer, “Oooohhh, great timing! I’m about to finish this thing and I'll deliver it to hyung tomorrow. A day is enough for you to think things through?”

Soobin groaned out loud.He didn’t ask for this. What was he gonna do or even say when he meets him? _‘Hey hyung, I’m here to deliver Kai’s drive because he thinks we’re awkward enough already and that we should start talking now.”_

“Come on, hyung it’s just Yeonjun hyung.” Kai insisted, “It’s not as if you’re confessing your love for him to something. Besides, I’ll help you if you’re that much of a coward.”

And how will Soobin say no to that?

* * *

The following day, Soobin had no choice but to follow his younger friends to the dance studio, even if Taehyun had the way memorized by now. _‘Think of it as supporting your friends, hyung, the dance competition is pretty near,’_ Taehyun had said, always the one who made Soobin conscious and guilty of his selfish actions. 

  
  


Taehyun had nagged on Beomgyu as soon as he saw his boyfriend lying down once again, on the floor. On the other side, Yeonjun was too in the same position as Beomgyu, all sweaty, lying down on the studio floor. Kai had skipped towards Yeonjun to deliver his great news, and Soobin just fondly watched their exchange. He couldn’t explain why but he had always loved watching his friends get along, especially Yeonjun and Kai. It’s probably one of the reasons Soobin had always questioned his feelings for the younger. 

He decided to sit on the floor as well, waiting for Kai’s conversation with Yeonjun to finish and soon enough, Kai trudged towards where Taehyun and Beomgyu was. He pointedly stared at Soobin, as if asking him to talk to Yeonjun and fix his mess. Yeonjun however, took the first step yet again and broke the silence that has been eating both of them.

  
  


“Aren’t you joining them?” Yeonjun asked, sitting up and leaning against the wall, staring at Soobin.

“They can handle Beomgyu.”

“And you think I couldn’t handle myself?”

Soobin had shrugged, scooting closer to his side. He felt like he should at least be physically close to Yeonjun to convey his feelings or maybe his sincerity. _ He wanted to take the first step this time. _ Yeonjun had been nothing but nice to him and he’s ruining everything.They stayed silent for a while, Soobin offered his shoulder, seeing as Yeonjun’s eyes were starting to droop close. Thankfully, Yeonjun took his offer and leaned against him. He was thinking of some way to break the silence as they watched the other three bicker on the other side of the room.

“I just know that you’ll be great on stage, hyung.” Soobin said. It was a good start, he thought, supporting his hyung with what he does would hopefully get them back on even better terms.

“Tha-Thank you, Soobinie. You have to be right there and watch me once I perform.”

He couldn’t help but smile at Yeonjun’s reply. Heavy weight lifted off his chest, “Of course hyung, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

As they walked back to their respective dorms, Beomgyu started talking about Yeonjun’s possibility of overworking himself in the next few weeks. 

“Hyung, is really great,” Beomgyu said once Yeonjun was out of sight, “but there are times when he just doesn’t know when to stop. I see Jimin hyung in him and I think Jimin hyung does too, no wonder he gave him the studio keys.”

“But doesn’t that mean that Yeonjun hyung would start to overwork himself more?” Kai asked. The question made sense in Soobin’s mind, why offer something that could trigger someone’s weakness? If Soobin was to decide, he would do his best to keep Yeonjun’s practicing to a minimum, probably keep a strict schedule.

Somehow, it was Taehyun who answered this question, “No, it’s people who are repressed that are more dangerous. If you try to stop someone from doing what they love most, they would still search for a way to do it no matter how bad or dangerous it would be. That’s probably why Jimin sunbaenim gave Yeonjun hyung the keys. So that he could keep a closer watch on him yet still not forbidding him to do what he wanted.”

“Exactly, because Hobi hyung had once stopped Jimin hyung,” Beomgyu shared, “Yet Jimin hyung still practiced, in a different studio, on the streets, everywhere. But of course, Hobi hyung was right. For the end of the year performance, Jimin hyung collapsed and was hospitalized for over fatigue. He wore himself thin and everyone had been really worried. I just hope Yeonjun hyung would see that too… I mean I know there’s a lot of pressure on him, but still…”

Beomgyu’s storytelling ended there since he had already reached his building. Bidding the couple goodbye, Soobin couldn’t help but think there’s this possibility that what happened to Jimin sunbaenim, could happen to his hyung. The heavy thing on his chest had once returned and he couldn’t help but think that he couldn’t let those things happen to Yeonjun.

With that thought in mind,  _Soobin did his best to involve himself in almost everything that Yeonjun does_ . He thought that this would not only help his relationship with Yeonjun going back to normal but also made Soobin worry free. He could easily watch how his hyung worked and made sure that Yeonjun was getting proper rest.

That’s how Soobin spent the rest of his week; at the end of his classes, he chose to join Taehyun whenever he went to fetch Beomgyu. Things between them weren’t completely resolved at first but at least they were talking to each other whenever Yeonjun took his breaks. Jimin didn’t mind having them over, too. _‘As long as you don’t disturb them while they’re practicing’_ , he said.

He couldn’t help but laugh whenever Yeonjun attempted to act cool in front of his friends yet got flustered once Soobin pointed it out. He knew Soobin was trying his best to get closer, so he let him.

Things slowly get better as they slowly slip into a pattern.

Everyday, Soobin goes to the nearest cafe 10 minutes before their usual morning library time and waits for Yeonjun at the table tucked in the very back of the library. He waited with a drink for him each time and joined Yeonjun as much as he could.

The librarian called it ‘their own personal table’ and made sure to have it reserved, not that he needed to because he and Yeonjun were always the first to come. But it was exam season so you couldn’t be so sure, nevertheless Soobin was grateful for it.

They talk for some time or usually Yeonjun studied while Soobin read. In general, they just spend time together.

Soobin slowly picked up on all of Yeonjun’s habits.

The way the older boy puts his hand to his neck and rubs his ears with his fingers when he’s getting stressed, the way he shrugs with his shoulders lifted when he’s being cocky, or the signature focus pout he had when he’s really into what he was doing. There were also times when he refused any sort of help when he clearly needed them.

He found them all so endearing and completely something Choi Yeonjun would do. He’s very thankful that somehow, they got back to where they were.

Aside from meeting at the library, they also meet up outside. By outside that meant the dance studio. That’s also the reason why he found himself staring at rows and rows of instant noodles, sandwiches and cans of coffee at 3 am in the morning.

“Have you decided yet?” Soobin stood behind his hyung, Taehyun and Beomgyu already paying for their meal. Yeonjun was taking way too long for choosing his breakfast. “Which one are we getting?”

Yeonjun made a face. “Something that won’t make my face all bloated up.”

“Who cares.” Soobin rolled his eyes and stood beside him.

“Then I’ll just get the most expensive food since Beomgyu’s paying.” Yeonjun grabbed some noodles, a huge bento and three cans of energy drink. “Should I get some dessert too?”

“I don’t think Beomgyu’s gonna pay for all of that, hyung.” Soobin couldn’t help but laugh as Yeonjun struggled carrying all the food he picked.

“He offered to buy me meals in exchange for letting him use the studio with me.” Yeonjun huffed yet beamed, overjoyed by his chosen meal. Soobin slowed down his pace so they’re walking beside each other.

Soobin returned Yeonjun’s smile with a chuckle. “Whatever you say, hyung.”

“Please tell me that’s both for you and Soobin hyung.” Beomgyu whined, seeing everything Yeonjun was bringing.

Yeonjun cocked his head to the side, raising his brows, challenging Beomgyu. “What, you don’t think I could finish this?” Yeonjun asked.

“Oh, I _believe_ you could hyung, I just can’t believe you’re this merciless” Beomgyu settled his card on the counter as Yeonjun placed everything he got next to it. “This would be the last time I offer my card to anyone.”

  
  


“You’re the one who offered, ” He pouted and turned to look at Soobin. “Am I not merciful enough, Binnie?”

  
  


Soobin just laughed at that, “This is too much amusement for me and it’s 3am.”

  
  


“Yeah, I know.” Beomgyu retorted. “Way too early to have this much food too.”

  
  


Nevertheless, Beomgyu still paid for everything and they all finally went to the studio. Yeonjun immediately warmed up as soon as they arrived, setting aside all of the meals he just got and started practicing. 

Yeonjun had gotten so much better as the days passed by, not that he wasn’t better the first time Soobin saw him, but as he continued observing Yeonjun’s practices, there was more to it than he realized. He remembered, Yeonjun mentioning way back when he first saw him, that there was a reason why he danced and somehow he never got the answer to that.

“You looked really cool, hyung.” Soobin said as soon as Yeonjun rested beside him. He watched all of Yeonjun’s practices and Soobin chose to do so, all the time. He wanted to keep an eye on his hyung. Yeonjun had been going at it for hours, it’s already 7 am and Taehyun had called them out to finally eat their ‘breakfast’.

“I’m always cool.” Yeonjun did that petulant pout that made Soobin shake his head every time. _How can someone be cool if they're this adorable?_

They cleaned up all their mess as soon as they stopped eating. Beomgyu and Taehyunhad left as soon as they finished eating for they both had morning classes, leaving Yeonjun and Soobin alone in the studio.

“Tired?” Soobin asked, both leaning against the studio mirrors. Yeonjun’s eyes were about to fall shut, probably due to the amount of food he just ate and maybe due to his practice.

“Hmm...” 

“Wanna rest?” Soobin scooched towards Yeonjun, pulling him beside him. 

Yeonjun however insisted, “I just rested. I should go back to practicing.”

“Well, it doesn’t mean you still couldn’t rest some more? I mean you just finished eating after all.” Soobin didn’t want to admit that he’s been luring Yeonjun to rest a bit more than he needed. 

“Who cares.” Yeonjun made another attempt in standing but even his own feet didn’t want to budge.

“I do.” He made his own attempt to stop Yeonjun. “It’s unhealthy.”

“It’s not.” 

“Yes it is, you could get a stomach ache or worse, _appendicitis_.”

“Why did you have to be a medical major?” Yeonjun mumbled, closing his eyes.

“What?”

“I said I would rest. But only for 15 minutes!” Yeonjun dropped on his shoulders and turned to him, both hands reached towards his arm as he rested on Soobin’s side. It was peaceful for a while but Soobin remembered the question that he had saved for Yeonjun to answer “Why are you dancing?”

Yeonjun stared at his face looking directly into Soobin’s eyes. “Huh?”

“You told me once that there’s a reason why you wanted to dance…. what was it?”

“Oh...” Yeonjun’s cheeks burn from, possibly, shame? When the staring became a bit too much, Soobin turned his attention to Yeonjun’s hands instead, taking them in his and played with his fingers as he waited for Yeonjun’s answer.

“That’s not...” Yeonjun’s voice echoes in the otherwise quiet studio. “I mean it’s nothing really… I guess dancing makes me feel _free_. It helps me express my emotions, my frustrations with no words needed.” 

He observed Yeonjun’s face as he continued to explain. He once again rested on Soobin’s shoulders and had his eyes closed but Soobin could feel the honesty in his words. Yet it was as if his hyung was hesitant sharing his thoughts. Still Yeonjun continued, “I love how I lost myself to the music, how I forget all my worries, my struggles and it helps me focus on myself. Then everyone would watch me with adoration, it made me feel good about myself. It might sound selfish but I really like the attention afterwards, like how other people understood me and applauded me for my hard work. It’s selfish of me but. Dancing is my comfort, it’s my language, it helps me express myself and most of all every move, every step, it’s all me.”

Yeonjun lifted his head from Soobin’s shoulder to see the younger’s reaction. “That’s really admirable, hyung. It’s a part of doing what you love. It’s great that you’ve found your passion.”

“Have you found yours?”

“Huh...” Soobin tried to think if he had found his own passion. “I guess mine would be helping others. I wanted to become a doctor to help others, it probably is one of the reasons I worry so much.”

“Well… yours is more admirable then, you wanted to do so many things to help others, I think your passion in helping, is better than my own desires,” Yeonjun slowly peeled his hand away from Soobin’s arms. He wanted to stop it from leaving. The tone of Yeonjun’s voice sounded so sad, as if he doubted himself, just like that night at the party. 

“I mean I take pleasure in helping others. It’s the same thing as you taking pleasure in dancing.” 

“I don’t think that’s the same.” Yeonjun argued, “You help others. You do it for them. I just dance. It’s less important.”

“It’s not less important if you care about it, hyung. You told me yourself, dancing is your comfort, and your language. How is it not important then?”

“Still…” Yeonjun insisted, “if we compare it, you help for the sake of others. Mine is…”

“Then let me ask you this hyung, who should you be dancing for?” Soobin asked.

“I’m, I’m dancing for….” Yeonjun gestured helplessly, thinking of an answer.

“Exactly.” Soobin ran a hand through his hyung’s hair, lightly patting it. He couldn’t believe that these things bothered Yeonjun a lot. “You should only be dancing for yourself hyung.”

Yeonjun placed his hand on Soobin’s, that’s still resting on his head. “I just think that it’s selfish...” 

”People couldn’t always be selfless, hyung,” Soobin frowned, “It’s okay to prioritize yourself, once in a while”

“Soobin...,” Yeonjun said as calmly as he could. “I didn’t know that your question would lead into a therapy session.”

Soobin gave him a small smile and released a small laugh. “I’m just saying, hyung-”

“Fine, fine.” Yeonjun lifted his hand and waved it aimlessly. “I’ll take a nap instead, I don’t wanna think anymore. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted, I should rest my brain.”

“You know that resting your brain isn’t exactly possible, didn’t you? You’d die if that happens.” Soobin said as Yeonjun tried to cover his mouth.

“Shhhh… I wanna rest. Just be a comfy pillow for now.”

Soobin laughed and enjoyed the easy going moment between the two of them as Yeonjun fell asleep on Soobin’s shoulders.

* * *

  
  


It’s two in the morning, and Soobin was still wide awake; he was sitting on his carpet with medical books spread all around him in a mess as he restlessly tapped the end of his pen on his knee and tried to focus on studying but failed miserably. 

He knows he’s being stupid. Yeonjun hyung specifically told him not to worry about him, but it’s mentally impossible not to.

All he can think about is how his friends told him that Yeonjun always does stupid things and gets himself into trouble if someone stopped him. He can only pray that his hyung is at his dorm, resting and not outside with the a great possibility of himself hurt. He had insisted Yeonjun on giving him his exam schedule. It would be their first day of exams and he wondered if Yeonjun was resting well or just like him, probably up early to study.

Thankfully, another night owl distracted him from his insistent worries. Kai texted asking him for midnight snack delivery because he was too lazy to go down to the convenience store to grab some. Soobin sighed as he grabbed his wallet, a late night—early morning?—walk would probably help him get his mind off of Yeonjun.

After getting a bunch of snacks and walking towards Kai’s building, he saw the dance team’s studio lights on. _Someone probably left it open._ Soobin thought _, No, don't tell me._

He rushed towards the building and into the studio to confirm all of his speculations. There he was, Choi Yeonjun, just as he saw him the day before. He believed that his hyung didn’t go home yet and took the opportunity of practicing with no one watching.

Taehyun and Beomgyu told him that there were no practices to be made this week, so Soobin thought he could go study, worry-free, but apparently that doesn’t stop Yeonjun.

Yeonjun continued on practicing, focused on pushing through the whole choreography. He was so immersed into his dance, not even noticing that Soobin was in the room. After a few more minutes of watching, Soobin decided that it was enough, “Why are you still here, hyung?” 

Yeonjun seemed startled as he stopped mid step to face him. Soobin isn’t pleased as he saw the dark bags under Yeonjun’s eyes, he looked beyond exhausted yet his eyes looked like it craved for more, “It’s 3am, your exams will start at 10.”

  
  


“What are you doing here?”

Soobin was trying his best to stay calm and not snap on his hyung. Yeonjun looked like he’s deprived of sleep and rest. He doubted if he would still have the energy to walk.

“I should be the one asking you that, hyung. I was just passing by, I got some snacks for myself since I’ve been studying when I saw the lights for this studio on, and I know there’s only one stupid person who’ll be dumb enough to stay here at this ungodly hour.” Soobin glared at Yeonjun, showing him that he was not pleased with him at that moment. He didn’t want to start an argument but Yeonjun _needs_ to get home.

“Then how come you’re still awake, then?” Yeonjun asked, a mocking tone, as if Soobin was being a hypocrite that he was, “You also have exams later.”

“I just woke up and my exams are not until late afternoon,” which was not really true, but Yeonjun didn’t know that did he? “Hyung, you should go sleep, you’re draining yourself.” 

Soobin grabbed Yeonjun’s bag from the side of the room, leaving Yeonjun with no choice but to lock up and follow him.

Soobin sighed, “Why do I put up with you, hyung?”

“Because you lov-” Yeonjun stopped himself in time. “I’m very lovable.”

_Yeonjun was not lying anyway._

It was once he got back to his room, a bag of chips, coffee and snacks at hand that he remembered what he really was supposed to do. He couldn’t believe he forgot about Kai’s request.  _He had been too occupied with making sure Yeonjun got home safe._

* * *

**Ningning**

_where r u?_

_u know hyung_

_nvm i got myself my own snacks_

_sht sorry i-_

_I won’t even explain_

_Are u mad?_

**Ningning**

_No, no, it’s okay hyung_

_u probably fell asleep_

_or smth_

_this is what i get for trusting u too much -.-_

* * *

The competition day had finally arrived and Soobin could see the whole team trying their best to control a bunch of nerves that flowed throughout their body. He saw that Yeonjun had his lips pursed, doing some breathing exercises to keep calm while Beomgyu talked even more, babbling about anything and everything. Taehyun had been holding his boyfriend’s hand listening to what the older was saying to ease him.

  
  


From afar, he saw Yeonjun walking slowly, his small hands half hidden in the sleeves of his long sleeved t-shirt.

A clear sign that he’s nervous.

When they actually arrived at the venue, Yeonjun had gotten quieter and quieter while Beomgyu spoke even faster than normal.

  
  


Yeonjun had been holding his hands in such a tight grip, Soobin was actually scared that he’d break his knuckles. He caught up to Yeonjun so they’d be standing side by side. Yeonjun’s eyes focused on him, searching for comfort from the taller, body filled with anxiety and nervousness. “What if I mess up, Binnie? No one on the team is going to be there and it’ll just be me making an embarrassment out of myself.”

“You’ll be fine.” Soobin gave his arm a little squeeze. “I’ve seen you practice a billion times and you’ve spent so much time perfecting every single step, even I have the steps down. And if you ever mess up— like that would ever happen, Beomgyu, Taehyun and I would remove every plug and light in there, alright?”

Yeonjun laughed and nodded, finding a bit of ease, “Promise?”

Soobin huffed. “I promise.”

“Pinky swear on it.” Yeonjun lifted his finger towards Soobin.

The taller had laughed at the gesture yet he linked his finger around Yeonjun’s anyway. “You’re going to be the best one out there.”

“If you say so.” Yeonjun grinned, not letting go of the taller’s pinky until it was time for them to enter the backstage. He sighed but let Yeonjun drag him around by the pinky. Just for a little bit. Only because his hyung was nervous. Not because he found it absolutely adorable.

Beomgyu saw them and gave their entwined pinky a smug look but he didn't say anything about it, instead he wished him luck. Jimin began fussing over the two dancers, asking both Soobin and Taehyun to leave.

Soobin swallowed hard when he caught a glimpse of Yeonjun changing.

* * *

“I can’t believe Kai’s missing out on this just because he forgot that he had a paper due today.” Soobin said as they walked towards their seats. He saw Yeonjun’s roommate, Jihoon, on one of the seats right next to theirs, and smiled at him in greeting.

“Sucks to be him,” Taehyun said with a laugh. “Heard he was looking forward to coming too. 

“Of course, he was supposed to watch Yeonjun hyung dance to his song. Kai will never learn.”

The entire team is amazing and everything passes by in a blink of an eye.

When Yeonjun’s solo started, Jihoon sunbae began screaming so loudly. He joins in with the others, clapping as they announce that it’s Yeonjun’s turn on the stage.

As always, Yeonjun had him speechless.

The black top Yeonjun was wearing dips low, showing off a firm chest and a lot more skin than he’d expected. The black leather pants are not any better with the way it clings onto Yeonjun’s thighs like a second skin. That was all he was wearing.

Soobin stared at the line of Yeonjun’s chest to his abdomen and he almost forgot how to breathe.

There are no words he can say to describe his hyung’s performance. Even though he’s seen Yeonjun practice so many times in the past few weeks, it was so much more than his practices, much more intense and he had looked so much brighter.

“You might want to close your mouth, hyung. You’ll probably be drooling soon.” Taehyun said a little too loudly in his ear.

He saw Jihoon snickering while Taehyun tried to hide the smile behind his hands.

“Just clap for Yeonjun hyung.” Soobin grumbled, which made Taehyun laugh, “I bet Yeonjun hyung is going to win.”

“No one’s going to be dumb enough to bet against you.” Jihoon had intervened in their conversation, “He’s been winning ever since he started dancing. I’m really not that surprised anymore.”

As they all expected, Yeonjun and their entire team actually won. However, he wasn’t able to spot Yeonjun on the stage as Beomgyu was the one to receive his award, eyes all red as he explained that Yeonjun was resting backstage, tired from dancing three consecutive times, that he fell asleep. It was reasonable, Soobin thought, he would probably be dead tired if he danced that much.

Their group chat was filled with congratulatory messages for Yeonjun and Beomgyu that he almost didn’t notice the message from Yeonjun.

* * *

**Yeonjun hyung**

_Are you gonna tell me ‘I told you so’?_

_No, I’m here to tell you I’m proud of you, hyung._

_Didn’t even need us to turn off the lights_

_Seriously, good job out there, hyung_

_I knew you’d win_

**Yeonjun hyung**

_The judges probably liked Kai’s track_

_It was perfect._

_That doesn’t mean that you weren’t great._

_Hyung…_

Soobin thought of treating his hyung. Yeonjun deserved it after all. Yeonjun could finally take a rest and lessen the burden he had on his shoulders.

**Yeonjun hyung**

_?_

_I should probably treat you for winning_

_Want to go out?_

  
  


**Yeonjun hyung**

_who would say no to free food? 😊💕_

_We can meet after your celebration?_

**Yeonjun hyung**

_we can leave now_

_You should be with your team first, hyung._

_I’ll pick you up once you’re done_

  
  


**Yeonjun hyung**

_it’s probably just gonna last an hour_

_since everyone’s tired_

_Let’s say a quarter to ten?_

_9:45 it is, see you hyung~_

**Yeonjun hyung**

_See you soon, Binnie~_

* * *

It was around 10pm, Soobin was about to go and pick Yeonjun up, when Hueningkai suddenly called him. Immediately, he answered the call without any hesitation, wondering why Kai would call him at this time of the night.

“ _Hyung…_ ”

Huening’s sniffling from the other side of the line, Soobin started to get a lot more worried.

“What? what happened? Are you okay?”

Soobin gripped his phone hard as he heard more sniffles from the other line. He knew his dongsaeng was sobbing hard, he wouldn’t sound so sad otherwise. _Why though_?

_“I don’t know it’s… gone hyung… everything’s gone…”_

“What? What’s gone?”

The line went out and it made Soobin nervous. He immediately called Yeonjun to apologize, he wouldn’t be able to focus on this state, let alone go out knowing Kai’s probably in trouble. Worrying about Hueningkai, has always been what he does.  _Hueningkai is always his priority_

He took a deep breath, quickly dialed Yeonjun’s number and called him, “I’m so sorry, hyung. Kai seems to be in trouble. I need to talk to him for a while and make sure he’s okay…”

“No it’s okay…” It took a while before Yeonjun replied, there was something else in his hyung’s voice that Soobin couldn’t quite catch, it seemed unsettling for him, but he ignored everything for now, “I completely understand… it’s late anyways. Maybe next time?”

“I’ll make sure to make it up to you, hyung. I’m really sorry, hyung.” Soobin immediately explained, wanting to get to his dongsaeng as soon as he could, unknowingly Soobin’s thoughts made their way out, “ _Kai is my priority right now. He needs me_.”

* * *

On his way back to campus, Soobin’s mind was filled with worry. The possibility of Kai being in trouble bothered him. He ran towards the younger’s dorm building only to find out he wasn’t there. Since Kai wasn’t in his dorm, there’s only one place the younger would go. The campus’ music studio had been Kai’s home ever since he got here.

He saw Kai sitting on one of the couches in the studio, feet up hugging himself as he whimpered and cried. It reminded Soobin of when they were younger. How helpless Hueningkai had been when he first saw him and Kai was merely five years old. 

“What happened?” Soobin asked, immediately hugging the younger for this had always been comforting for him.

“I didn’t know- I don’t know...what happened hyung... I needed to get my drive quickly because our.. jerk of a prof’s been asking for it by tomorrow and...” Kai tried to explain as best as he could, but he kept on sniffing and hiccuping in the middle of what he was saying, “and I thought... I could add my latest edits from the drive I gave to Yeonjun hyung... I tried texting hyung… but he wasn’t responding, I mean I couldn’t blame him, he’s probably… probably celebrating his win so...” 

Soobin rubbed his shoulders as Kai continued on, “I grabbed my hard drive from the… the dance studio since… one member told me that they usually keep most of the stuff... the-there...and luckily, Jimin sunbaenim… he was still there. I found the hard drive but then…” 

Soobin’s eyes widened in alarm as more tears had flowed from Kai’s face and at this moment he was already expecting the worst.

“I dunno hyung... I attached it to my computer… to my laptop... and- and then...it crashed. It’s probably filled with virus-viruses... or something.. I don’t know, hyung...it’s all gone. _Everything. Gone._ ”

He didn’t know how to comfort the younger. He wanted to reassure him that everything’s gonna be fine but that’s not the case. 

“It’s _my_ fault for not saving multiple copies... _I’m so stupid hyung_ … why am i so, so stupid… I don’t know what to do…”

Soobin felt awful. Kai had been slaving hours and days for this project. He didn’t know what to think of the situation, he felt completely helpless,  _all he knew was that Yeonjun had to do something with this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm...why do you think Soobin is overprotective of Hyuka?
> 
> My updates had been quite inconsistent and I will constantly apologize for that T-T.. yes finally halfway already~ Please expect unusual and constant late updates since I wasn’t expecting this fic to go this far (and for anyone to actually enjoy it) >///< But again I’m trying my best to at least update once a week. My goal was to finish this in August or at least before Yeonjun’s birthday~
> 
> Anyways, for anyone who’s curious how I write my chapters for this fic (and what’s taking me so long) here is a sample of this chapter’s draft.
> 
> For the 8 times Soobin chose between Yeonjun and Hyuka  
> 1) The party, Soobin chose to leave Hyuka behind for the sake of Yeonjun  
> 2) Soobin chose to be with Hyuka than be awkward with Yeonjun  
> 3) Soobin chose to take the first step closer to Yeonjun this time around.  
> 4) Chose to study with Yeonjun and look after him to make sure he’s taking care of himself  
> 5) Chose to look over Yeonjun’s practices to watch him closely and support him  
> 6) At midnight Hyuka asked Soobin for snacks yet he still chose to stop by the studio to check on Yeonjun and completely forgot about Hyuka.  
> 7) Chose to ditch Yeonjun for Hyuka.  
> 8) Chose to stick to Hyuka’s side
> 
> Please be honest, are u getting tired of some scenes repeating? If so, please tell me so that I could minimize it in the next chapters~


	9. Nine and three quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun was hurt; physically, mentally, emotionally...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title is basically based on TXT’s song ‘Run Away’ which sums up Yeonjun’s feelings in the entire chapter.
> 
> *edited* I was sleep deprived when I wrote this :(( might get edited again soon~

It’s only been a day since Yeonjun’s gotten his crutches, he’s somewhat gotten used to them but it still tires him out.

Going to class was a _pain_ , very literally.

He tried not to skip too many classes but it’s not like he could do much with his leg. Even in dance, he’d probably just be sitting in the side so he emails his teachers and they send him recordings of the class just so he’ll know what he missed.

  
  


For the rest of the classes, Yeonjun’s friends being the amazing people they are, all took the time to shuttle him to and from class. There were no hard feelings between him, Chan and Wooyoung. It was all friendly competition. They even teased him that he worked _too hard_ that he ended up in this state and that he could’ve just asked them to lay low so that he didn’t end up injured. Now, they all have to carry him in between buildings. According to them, the leader position was all for Yeonjun to take anyway, still they congratulated him and said that they enjoyed the challenge.

  
  


He couldn’t say he minded it that much but he felt bad for making his friends take the time out of their busy schedules just to do so. 

Even annoying Jihoon had been _too caring_ which was scary. Jihoon had really taken the title as a nagging mother with all the fussing he had made, add the fact that he was a medical major. Yeonjun was treated as if he had a deadly virus and is supposed to be on _bedrest_ which he was not. He had a sprain, _he’s not dying_.

Nevertheless, he was very thankful for everything.

Yeonjun could say that he was living like a prince and it’s only been a day since the incident. What was really upsetting is that he hadn’t heard from Soobin since the night he ditched him. He felt bitter and jealous, but he believed that once he saw the taller, all of those pettiness would slip away. He just wanted to see Soobin so badly.

* * *

  
He was in the dance studio when it happened. Yeonjun was doing his stretches, which he wasn’t supposed to do. He shouldn’t even attend dance practices but he couldn’t just sit still in his dorm and do nothing. Especially now that it was announced that he was the next leader of the team, he just couldn’t slack off. He knew he was gonna get an earful from Jimin hyung once he arrived. Instead, it wasn’t Jimin hyung who came. 

It gave him a big surprise when Soobin entered the room yet the taller wasn't so pleased to see him, he looked as if he despised Yeonjun. 

“What happened to the hard drive, hyung?” Soobin asked as soon as he set foot in front of him and laid his eyes on him. He sounded so angry that Yeonjun would’ve found it annoying if not for the fact that he missed the younger. _Yes, I’m that whipped_ , he admitted to himself yet couldn’t help but wonder why Soobin was all mad at him.

  
  


“Hard drive?”

  
  


“Please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.”

  
  


“I don’t…” Yeonjun honestly has no idea. He tried to think of what Soobin was implying, that is until he remembered what hard drive he somehow possessed, “Huening’s hard drive?”

  
  


“What else, hyung?”

  
  


Yeonjun would admit he hated how sarcastic the younger had said it. He wasn’t fond of this Soobin. _Not at all_. He tried to explain, “But I gave it-”

  
  


“Yes, with viruses hyung. The hard drive that _you_ left, was filled with viruses because _apparently_ , you’re done with it.” Soobin went off, he sounded so angry, “Kai inserted it into his laptop which of course, got ruined too. They cannot be accessed anymore. He had nothing left, _All his songs, his hard work, gone!_ You know how important it is for Kai hyung! How could you be so careless?! Why would you leave it there where anyone could just grab and get it?! Didn’t you care?!”

  
  


Yeonjun didn’t know what to say. He felt sad of course, it was horrible. He left immediately because he sprained himself, he needed to get his feet bandaged, but he didn’t want Soobin to think that he was playing victim. 

Besides, _he really wasn’t caring enough_ , instead of going back and getting Kai’s drive, he _forgot about everything._ He didn’t even check or care about the drive and chose to meet Soobin. Just so he could be with Soobin. He didn’t even think of himself, or anything else for that matter, because Yeonjun knew that he would feel better once he’s with Soobin... _But that didn’t happen either didn’t it_? 

  
  


_How could you make everything worse, Choi Yeonjun?_

  
  


Soobin apparently wasn’t done, everything he said had Yeonjun toppling down. All he could do was listen to the taller, “Are you always this _selfish_?! Now that you’ve got what you wanted, you suddenly don’t care about others? This is how you would repay him? After using his music? I can’t believe this, hyung. Now, who knows how Huening would get all of his compositions back?”

  
  


“I…” Honestly, Yeonjun didn’t know what to do… _He wanted to cry._ Soobin had been hitting all of his insecurities right off the bat. Soobin knew this and he just _confirmed all of Yeonjun’s doubts about himself._ He didn’t mean to leave it behind but he guessed it was his fault for not remembering, too. _He really was selfish._

  
  


Soobin just stared at Yeonjun’s helpless figure, on the floor, eyes casted downwards. Apparently, his chest hurts even more than his foot. He’s got nothing to say, all he wanted to do was hide. Hide himself from Soobin because the taller hated him now. _Soobin hated him._

  
  


“Just as I thought, of course you wouldn’t know, too.” 

  
  


“I’m sorry… I never wanted any of that to happen…”

“Well, it happened, and Kai didn’t want to tell you, but I thought you should know.” Soobin sighed, done with everything he had to say as he started to turn away, “Even if it wouldn’t do anything, I still think you should apologize to him, hyung. The kid didn’t deserve this.”

He closed his eyes and sank down to the floor. He doesn’t watch Soobin’s back get smaller and smaller as he walks away from him. 

Jimin saw him crying his eyes out as soon as he arrived. Yeonjun reasoned that he accidentally hurt his foot and somehow, Jimin took his excuse. The older still scolded him for being in the studio when he was supposed to be resting but Yeonjun couldn’t even focus on what Jimin was saying. 

_“How could you be so careless?!”_

_“Didn’t you care?!”_

_“Are you always this selfish?!”_

_“Now that you’ve got what you wanted, you suddenly don’t care about others?”_

_“This is how you would repay him?”_

It was all repeating on Yeonjun’s head and the look of disappointment on Soobin’s face as he said all of this. He couldn’t practice or even join his team in this state. Yeonjun wanted to go home.

* * *

  
During the time he spent avoiding Soobin and Huening, he just went out whenever he needed to go to class. Jihoon had found it weird, one, Yeonjun was locking himself up in their room instead of being out with his new friend group and two, he looked sadder and sadder as the days went by. Yeonjun blamed it on his injured foot and thankfully, Jihoon didn’t pry like he used to.

  
  


He felt ashamed to face Hueningkai too, the kid helped him with his track and everyone loved the composed teck so much that the judges admitted it was a bonus on his part. He couldn’t bear seeing Kai mad at him too. _All of them probably did_ , his mind supplied.

He tries his best to send a heartfelt text to Huening. That’s the best he can do for now.

He pretends not to see all the calls and the texts left unanswered and unread.

When Kai replies, Yeonjun doesn’t. He believed the younger was being too nice to him and he didn’t know what else to say. He was afraid that the younger would ask him to make up with Soobin and he couldn’t face the taller yet.

* * *

  
After a week of avoiding everyone except his old friends, Yeonjun had finally got his cast changed into a bandage. The doctor reminded him that he still needed to use his crutches and not to abuse his foot. He needed at least one more week of rest before they could guarantee that his foot would be fine. 

He tried his best to avoid Beomgyu and Taehyun too, though he felt bad whenever he saw the downcast look on Beomgyu’s face whenever they crossed lanes with Yeonjun avoiding his stares and greetings. All in all, Yeonjun had returned into his life when he hadn’t met Soobin. Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t miss their old routines. Doesn’t mean that Yeonjun doesn’t cry at night whenever he’s reminded of the taller.   
  


* * *

Another week had passed by when Yeonjun had finally found the courage to face his friends once again.

He was planning to apologize to everyone, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and of course, Hueningkai and Soobin for his selfish acts. He met his doctor one last time and got his bandage removed. Yeonjun was planning to text everyone to meet him...when he received a text from the person he wanted to apologize and see the most.

_Soobin wanted to meet him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been ranting on twt how authorims hurt Yeonjun, my poor baby 🥺, turns out I’m a hypocrite myself
> 
> This chapter was shorter than usual (like super short!) but the next one…*sighs as I stare at my draft and see the events that will unfold*... It would probably take me awhile to finish the next one...or not who knows? Just don’t hope T-T
> 
> BTW the DRAMA Japanese MV lit a fire and watered the Yeonbin drought. Beomgyu though T-T DRAMA was one of the songs that I instantly liked in the album so seeing the MV just made me sooo happy. BTS' Dynamite teaser too T-T I swear BigHit pls continue taking care of our amazing babies~ Please stream the DRAMA MV!


	10. Ten Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin needed a lot of convincing and only Hueningkai can help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ofc, we can’t forget the fact that Soobin is really bad at feelings >_<
> 
> Btw thank you for those who remind me that this fic actually exists! I truly appreciate you guys commenting and telling me on twt and cc 😅 sometimes I feel lazy writing this since I think it’s a bit.. eh.. for me 😂
> 
> Again, long(er) endnotes for an announcement 😊 sorry 😅

Soobin didn’t know what had gotten to him and thought of confronting Yeonjun as soon as he saw his dongsaeng crying out. 

Hyuka might’ve insisted a bunch of times that _‘No, hyung. Let me handle this, I just want you to comfort me. I’m sad and I wanted comfort not a miracle worker. I did not ask you to do things for me, hyung. I just want you to mourn with me’_ , the younger had told him. And what would mourning do? It wouldn’t bring his tracks back or all of his hard work. So could you blame Soobin for wanting to help him?

  
  


It bothered Soobin to no end and kept on worrying for the younger as he joined Hyuka in bed to cuddle the younger to sleep. 

_It was like the old times_ , Soobin thought. 

When they were both younger, Kai couldn’t even go to sleep without hugging something. It explains all the plushies in his bed as well as wanting to room in with Taehyun as soon as they got to university. Kai had always been his baby. This instinct of just wanting to protect the younger had been in him ever since he saw him. He even promised the younger that he would do everything just to keep him safe and happy. It was always on Soobin’s mind.

  
  


That night, he kept on thinking of possible ways and solutions to help the younger but something had been bothering him non-stop ever since Kai told him about the drive. Kai had given his hard drive to Yeonjun to use for the competition. 

  
  


_Yeonjun had won the competition, didn’t he think of returning Kai’s music? Didn’t he even bother thanking the younger?_

  
  


He believed that he saw a thank you message from his hyung on their group chat. But he couldn’t help but think it was quite irresponsible of his hyung to just leave the hard drive to someone else especially after using it. 

  
  


_Wouldn’t a friend thank and return the drive personally especially after you’ve gotten some use with it?_

  
  


He felt a heavy pang on his chest as he thought of blaming Yeonjun for what had happened. Yeonjun was nothing _but nice_ to them. But then, just one look at Kai’s sleeping figure, seeing as Kai still cried in his sleep, tears adorning the younger’s face, Soobin had decided to ask Yeonjun personally about what had happened the next day.

  
  


That was how Soobin ended up in the dance studios just before the dance club started their practice. As expected, he saw Yeonjun early for practice, doing his stretches. Looking fine and bright. He couldn't help but feel mad as he saw his hyung doing his usual routine, as if everything was fine and dandy when in fact, a friend of theirs was actually suffering due to irresponsibility. 

  
  


He also saw how his hyung’s face brightened up as he saw him. Unfortunately, Soobin wasn’t bearing any good news

  
  


“What happened to the hard drive, hyung?” Soobin asked as soon as he set foot in front of him and laid his eyes on him. 

  
  


Yeonjun’s face scrunched up and looked confused, “Hard drive?”

  
  


“Please don’t make this more _difficult_ than it already is.”

  
  


Shouldn’t Yeonjun thought of returning Hyuka’s drive by this time? Deep inside, Soobin was hoping that Yeonjun somehow still had the drive and that Hyuka was awfully mistaken.

  
  


“I don’t…” Yeonjun sure did take some time to think as he suddenly realized what Soobin was pointing out, “Huening’s hard drive?”

  
  


“What else, hyung?” 

  
  


Getting a bit irritated by this conversation, Soobin doesn’t even know why he needed to point these out. Yeonjun _should_ be the one who is aware of what had happened. _Apparently, he didn’t care._

  
  


“But I gave it-”

  
  


“Yes, with viruses hyung. The hard drive that _you_ left was filled with viruses because _apparently_ , you’re done with it. Kai inserted it into his laptop which of course, got ruined too. They cannot be accessed anymore. He had nothing left, _All his songs, his hard work, gone!_ You know how important it is for Kai hyung! How could you be so careless?! Why would you leave it there where anyone could just grab and get it?! Didn’t you care?!”

Soobin remembered how hard Kai had worked for all of his tracks since the start of the year even before meeting Yeonjun. How Kai almost never slept and how he almost couldn’t see his dongsaeng just for these tracks. _And now, they’re all gone_.

Soobin just voiced out all his frustrations, “Are you always this _selfish_?! Now that you’ve got what you wanted, you suddenly don’t care about others? This is how you would repay him? After using his music? I can’t believe this, hyung. Now, who knows how Huening would get all of his compositions back?”

  
  


“I…” 

His hyung looked as if there was nothing left to say. He looked so guilty that Soobin just stared at Yeonjun’s helpless figure. Soobin’s chest felt heavy, probably for voicing out his feelings. There was _nothing_ they could do. Now Yeonjun knew how helpless he and Hyuka had felt...

  
  


“Just as I thought, of course you wouldn’t know, too.” 

  
  


“I’m sorry… I never wanted any of that to happen…”

  
  


“Well, it happened, and Kai didn’t want to tell you, but I thought you should know.” Soobin sighed, done with everything he had to say as he started to turn away, “Even if it wouldn’t do anything, I still think you should apologize to him, hyung. The kid didn’t deserve this.”

  
  


Soobin left without looking back, he felt bad as soon as he said all those things but it already happened. It didn’t help that Yeonjun had looked so painfully pitiful as Soobin said what he had said. Soobin had no time for remorse now that he had said everything. 

  
  


All he wanted was to see Yeonjun’s side of the story but the fact that Yeonjun looked as if he had no idea what he was talking about and that he even tried to deny such things made him blow off. 

  
  


Maybe, just maybe, Soobin had been a bit too much but atleast, Yeonjun would know what happened and that he should at least apologize to Kai. 

  
  


Soobin was on his way to Taehyun and Kai’s dorm when he heard the younger boy shriek inside their room. 

He immediately knocked, rushed and panicked, “What happened?” Soobin couldn’t bear another bad news especially when he just had an awful conversation with his hyung. 

  
  


The welcoming smile on Kai’s face said otherwise, “I got my songs, hyung!” Hueningai brightly said, holding out his hard drive. 

  
  


“Really? That’s great! Where did you get it?”

  
  


“Taehyun just handed it right now! I actually got the wrong drive, it looked awfully the same that I thought it was mine! It’s my fault for getting it in the studios anyway. Beomgyu hyung had it all along!”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“Beomgyu hyung forgot to give his drive cause he was too drunk to even remember anything, you know ‘cause they celebrated last night?” Taehyun said from where he was sitting on his bed.

  
  


Soobin sat on one of the couches in the room as Kai related the story, “Well, just as I’ve said last night, I went to the dance studio and retrieved the _wrong_ drive, turns out Yeonjun hyung actually told Beomgyu hyung to get it, he didn’t have the time to retrieve it since he sprained his foot. I didn’t notice his message in our chats because we were all busy congratulating him. I still have to return that virus filled drive to the dance studio. Who ever owned that shit needs to fix it.”

  
  


Kai had then sat beside Soobin, who was still trying to piece out the every detail of his dongsaeng’s story, “The drive I got was filled with viruses so it corrupted all of the files in my laptop and studio computer. Beomgyu hyung said that Yeonjun hyung was so insistent on getting my drive. I was so touched when Yeonjun hyung thought about my drive before his foot too…”

  
  


“How about passing your songs?” Soobin asked, still worried. Worried about Kai and worried about the _useless things_ he said to Yeonjun. He didn’t even know that Yeonjun had a sprained foot and he even said all those things to him...

  
  


“The professor who was asking for the songs was actually present at the dance competition. After learning from Yeonjun hyung that Kai was the one who composed Yeonjun hyung’s piece, he wanted to have a copy right away.” Taehyun answered, “By the way, I have to go, class starting in fifteen minutes. See ya later Kai, Soobin hyung.”

  
  


Both bid Taehyun goodbye, Kai thanking him once more while Soobin stared at an empty space, growing remorseful as he heard more of the story. 

  
  


Kai, who seemed to be getting a lot cheerful, continued, “My professor told me that he really liked my track and wanted to see all of my work. I told him that I would try to retrieve my copy first before sending it and told me that I could take all the time I would need, he was glad that a freshman like me was able to pull off a track like that. Anyway, I was so glad that Beomgyu had my drive. My only problem now is saving my laptop— which would probably just need a reformat. At least I finally got all of my songs. Waah~ what a great day indeed.”

_Not for me_ , Soobin thought, placing his hands on his face as he groaned in frustration. _Fuck._ He messed up. He messed up so bad. 

“What did you do?” Hueningkai asked as soon as he saw the change in Soobin’s face. He should be cheering with his dongsaeng if he actually listened to him. _Fuck he’s so stupid._ “Don’t tell me you told Yeonjun hyung...” 

Soobin’s frustrated face said it all. Kai couldn’t help but shout in anger, “Hyung, why would you go to him? I told you it’s my fault! Why did you have to go and tell him? Yeonjun hyung actually injured himself yesterday… I mean thank you for your concern hyung but that’s just… I told you _I’m_ gonna fix this. It’s why I told you not to tell anyone yet, hyung!”

  
  


He groans and runs a hand through his hair, “How am I supposed to know that?! And what if you didn’t get to retrieve those, huh?”

  
  


“Then all is lost! I couldn’t do anything about it then. I would have to start from scratch. It’s no excuse for you to go and get mad at Yeonjun hyung.” Kai said exasperatedly, “Hyung, I told you to stop being so worried all the time! Look at where this got you now.” Kai let out another disappointing sigh, “He did a huge favor for me, my professors and friends recognized the track, it’s just… fuck, hyung, this is how we pay him back? You know what? Go back there and apologize.”

“No, with everything I’ve just said to him, I don’t think he’ll be willing to talk to me, Ning.”

“Well, atleast, try. He didn’t deserve that, hyung.” Kai finally said. “If you’re not going to be guilty about all this, I think you need to go to him, then have the decency to admit your mistake.”

_Fuck._

* * *

  
  


Soobin felt guilty. He really did. He wanted to apologize, but couldn’t find the courage to face Yeonjun that same day. He thought that he should just let Yeonjun rest for now and probably talk to him the next day. 

  
  


Next day comes and Soobin could really admit that he’s being a coward. He had been seeing Yeonjun around campus in his crutches, some of his friends assisting him. It made Soobin wanna go and help him too but he didn’t have the courage to face his hyung, especially with the horrible things he said.

  
  


“You haven’t apologized yet?” Kai asked, looking really disappointed when Soobin shook his head in reply, “Yeonjun hyung, he texted to apologize to me the other day… I told him it was fine and I wanted to tell him the great news but he didn’t respond to any of my messages afterwards. Hyung… you’re just going to prolong the agony and your guilt. Apologize to Yeonjun hyung, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

  
  


Hueningkai was right and he was set on looking for Yeonjun to apologize. But then, he couldn’t see Yeonjun the following week or even the week after that. 

  
  


He considered asking Jihoon-sunbaenim and immediately approached when he saw him around their building. Yeonjun was just not feeling all that well, he said and asked if there was any problem. Soobin just shook his head and said that he was just worried about his hyung. Jihoon reassured him that he was taking good care of Yeonjun hyung but even that didn’t sit well with Soobin.

  
  


He was growing more worried when even his friends weren't seeing Yeonjun anymore. Beomgyu confronted him one time and asked him what happened. He told Beomgyu the whole story. Beomgyu was disappointed too but not surprised.

  
  


“I mean, if that happened to Taehyun, I would’ve probably gotten mad too. But you didn’t even listen to his side of the story,” Beomgyu told him, eyes getting teary, “If you were there when Yeonjun hyung got off stage and saw his state. You would’ve forgotten about the drive too. I thought he wasn’t going to be able to dance again. Yet he stayed strong and- you know what. I think I know why he’s avoiding all of us too. Probably blaming himself. You should talk to him. I miss our weekend movie nights.”

  
  


Yes, Soobin missed their group too. It was never the same after that incident. It was way worse than their kissing incident and Soobin could see how it’s affecting their whole group. He needed to talk to Yeonjun soon. 

* * *

  
  


The only person Soobin was comfortable with sharing his inner thoughts and feelings had always been Hueningkai. He called the younger to ask him how he should approach Yeonjun. The younger laughed as if finding his horrible situation funny yet still agreed to meet him at one of their music studios as it was where Hueningkai always stayed at since the start of the year.

  
  


“I don’t know how to get a hold of him, Ning. I feel like he’s avoiding me. _I rarely see him_. _You and the others_ rarely see him.” Soobin emphasized as he talked to the younger. “You were right. I should’ve apologized to him immediately.”

  
  


“Of course, I’m _always_ right.” Kai said, rolling his eyes, “I bet Yeonjun hyung is blaming himself. I still can’t believe you haven’t had any chance to apologize. It’s been _weeks_! Even Beomgyu hyung wanted to lock both of you up in the dance studio once he gets a hold of you two. Have you tried texting him?”

_Text…_

“Uh…”

“Hyung!” Kai literally face plamed, dragging his hands on his face as he groaned in disappointment, “Go text him!”

“But that isn’t a genuine apology. I want to apologize in person.”

Kai looked exasperated, “Then go text him and ask him to meet. What were you expecting, hyung? Grabbing him on the street and corner him or something?”

“It seems more earnest if you asked me.” Soobin pouted also thinking that he was stupid for not thinking of asking Yeonjun to meet through texting.

  
  


“It is hyung, but it would also take a long time for you to meet. Go text him now and tell him to meet here or something. Their studio is in this building too anyway, so he’ll know where to go. I’ll just leave you guys alone once he comes.”

  
  


“Right, right.” Soobin immediately grabbed his phone to text Yeonjun, “Better leave as soon as he replies to me, okay?”

  
  


Hueningkai couldn’t help but snort, “I can’t believe you’re this whipped for Yeonjun hyung.”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“ _You_.” Kai pointedly said, “You’re so whipped for Yeonjun hyung.”

Soobin confusedly stared at the younger as soon as he sent the message, “ _No_. What does that have to do with anything?”

  
  


“Well, if Yeonjun hyung isn’t that important to you, you wouldn’t even think twice to approach him to apologize. Also, you wouldn’t mind if he would forgive you or not.”

  
  


“He’s our friend, of course, I want him to forgive me.”

  
  


Hueningkai grabbed both of Soobin’s shoulders and decided to shake him, “When are you going to wake up and stop denying your feelings?” 

  
  


“What feelings?”

  
  


““You know I’m talking about you and Yeonjun hyung.”

  
  


“There is no ‘me and Yeonjun hyung’.” Soobin tried to curb the frustration in his voice. He hated how worked up he’s getting when Kai is just sitting there beside him as if he knew everything Soobin was feeling. “We’re friends.”

  
  


“Really, Soobin hyung? I thought you’re smart.” Kai crossed his arms. “I’ve known you since baby times. I’ve been with you for years. Give me a little credit.”

  
  


“What are you trying to say, Ning? I hate playing mind games with you.”

  
  


“Are you sure _‘friends’_ is all you want to be? 

  
  


Of course! And the fact that you’re implying that there’s something between me and Yeonjun hyung, just doesn’t make any sense. Especially if I already like someone.”

Kai had his eyebrows rise on that, not believing him one tiny bit, “Oh really? And who is this person that you like? If I may ask?”

“It’s—”Soobin didn’t think this through. He wanted to dig a hole and escape from reality. He was blushing at this point. Too embarrassed to say who he thinks he likes to the person himself, “It’s…”

  
  
  
  


“It’s?”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“It’s you…”

  
  
  
  


It was quiet for a few seconds before Hueningkai howled in laughter. His shriek was definitely deafening and hard that he almost fell off the couch.

  
  


“No! What the-” Kai laughed, “Hyung, what the fuck? Please tell me you’re joking!”

  
  


“Why are you laughing?”

  
  


“I mean.. You... _like..._ me?” Kai was definitely wheezing at this point, “I mean... I’m flattered but- wait I need to breathe-”

  
  


“Take all the time you need,” Soobin said, watching the younger try to put a stop to his endless laughter, “You know, I don’t know if I should feel offended but I’m just feeling a little if not a lot annoyed right now.”

  
  


“Well, you should because you _don’t_ like me.”

  
  


It was Soobin’s turn to scoff, “Why would _you_ know my feelings better than me?”

  
  


“Because I know you. Isn’t that enough?” Kai stared at Soobin with disbelief as the older was still in denial, genuinely believed that he liked the younger, “You know what? I’m gonna ask you some simple Yes or No questions and I want you to be completely honest about it okay?”

Having no other choice but to agree, Soobin nodded his head as he waited for the question. The younger too invested in proving his non-existent ‘feelings’.

“Do you care about Yeonjun hyung?” 

  
  


“Of course I do, he's my friend.”

  
  


“Are there times where you just think Yeonjun hyung looked so attractive?” Kai asked, looking at Soobin deep in the eyes to see any trace of lies.

“Yeonjun hyung isn’t bad looking.”

“Do you find him _attractive_? Yes or No?”

Soobin sighed, “Yes.”

Kai seemed pleased with the answer and continued, “Do you unconsciously look for him when he’s not around or do you contanstanly wonder what he’s doing?” 

“I don’t??”

  
  


“LIES!” Kai said, rising on his seat, and pointed an accusing finger at him.

  
  


“How would you know?!”

  
  


“You’re bothered that he isn’t with us and that you can’t see him!”

  
  


“Because I want to apologize, Ning. It’s nothing.”

  
  


“You’re bothered whenever he couldn’t join us for lunch and get especially worried when he’s not around.”

  
  


“Fine, if it makes you happy then, yes.”

Kai huffed as he sat down beside him once again, disappointed by his answer, and continued his interrogation, “Can you say no to any of his requests? Answer me _honestly_ this time, hyung.”

  
  


“I don’t always say, yes.” It’s true. Soobin doesn’t always say yes to Yeonjun hyung’s requests… right? 

  
  


“You even ate the mint choco ice cream he fed you!”

  
  


“That’s… it was unexpected. I had no other choice.”

  
  


“Pft... I tried to feed you mint choco too but you always rejected me” Kai pouted, yet a smirk crept on his face as he asked another question “Do you miss him right now?”

“I do. Don’t you?”

“I’m the one asking questions here, hyung.” Kai snided, “So, you are telling me that you wouldn’t mind if Yeonjun hyung went out on a date with Jihoon sunbae or Wooyoung sunbae or even me?”

  
  


“Then what about my feelings for you? I care about you. I can’t say no to your requests. I miss you when I don’t see you. I feel bothered when you are not around that also meant I miss you too. And you’re not so bad looking either.” Soobin let down his guard in front of the younger boy. Searching for answers from the younger until Kai suddenly surged forward.

  
  
  
  


Felt a pair of lips on his own.

  
  
  
  
  


Hueningkai was kissing him…

  
  
  
  
  


Kai was kissing him...

  
  
  


The younger then broke the kiss and gave another deeper kiss on his lips that had Soobin stunned.

  
  


He was kissing Kai...

  
  


His dongsaeng. The guy he liked...

  
  


Yet… it felt so _wrong_ … and so _off_ … and there’s something so _distasteful_ about it that Soobin pushed the younger off.

  
  


  
  


“ _What was that?_ ,” Soobin shuddered. Kai seemed to get the wrong idea since he looked back to where the door was and went to close it. “I don’t know, the knob of this door had always been broken I guess.”

  
  
  


“No! Why would you kiss me?” 

  
  


Kai looked mortified as well as he remembered what they just did, sitting a bit far from Soobin, like he was _disgusted_ by what he just did. Kai then composed himself as if getting back to what he was pointing at.

“Does that feel normal? It’s not right? It’s- Hey! Why are you making that face?! It’s not like I’m a bad kisser!” Kai said, feeling offended.

  
  


“That was… just… so... _gross_ .” Soobin couldn’t even describe it without offending the younger. “ _What are you even thinking?!_ ”

  
  
  


“What were _you_ thinking, hyung? Did that feel like how you would kiss Yeonjun hyung? And _you_ think you _like_ _me_?” Kai shrieked, waiting for Soobin to calm down and realize the difference. “I bet kissing Yeonjun hyung felt different. You have to make your mind, hyung. Love, it waits for no one.”

  
  


“Who said anything about love?” Soobin gritted out.

  
  


“No one did, it was just a saying.” Kai said, shrugging, “I swear, hyung. Think about it. Are your feelings for me and Yeonjun hyung really the same? Do you really think you would want to date me and be with me forever just because of some stupid promise you held onto yourself when we were kids? I know you love me, hyung and I’m grateful for that _but_ you should know the _difference_ between romantic and platonic. Please think about it. All those questions are reasons proving that you like Yeonjun hyung. It’s all up to you now.”

With that, the younger had gotten up from his seat and left the room. Having the time to himself, Soobin had thought about it. He really did.

He tackled Kai’s easier question first.

Did the kiss with Kai feel right? No. Absolutely not. It was okay but it was nothing compared to kissing Yeonjun.

  
  


Would he mind having Yeonjun hyung date Jihoon sunbae? Yes. It bothered him if he knew they were dating especially since they shared rooms but Yeonjun always told him it was nothing like that and he trusted Yeonjun.

  
  


Wooyoung? Yes. He never knew the guy, just saw him always practicing with his hyung. But he never entertained the thought of Wooyoung sunbaenim with Yeonjun. Now that he thought about it, it did bother him.

  
  


Any other random dude? Yes.

  
  


Hueningkai? If Soobin was being completely honest, _Yes_. He knew a time would come where Kai would fall in love and be with somebody but thinking of Kai falling in love with Yeonjun… he never wanted to think about it.

  
  


Then it came to the harder question: was friends all he wanted to be?

  
  


He loves Hueningkai, that was, _is_ , true.

  
  


He examines his feelings for Kai and compares them to his feelings for Yeonjun.

  
  


Were they the same? No.

  
  


Was it love? _Probably_?

  
  


The same type of love? _Not really._

  
  


If he were to let go of someone and keep the other… who would he choose?

  
  
  


All his thoughts come to an abrupt stop as if all the answers came to mind so quickly he doesn’t even have time to deny it. He knew the person who he would end up choosing.

  
  


_Kai_.

  
  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one who always woke up at the asscrack of dawn just to join him study even if he didn’t need to.

  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one who keeps him company in a boring library with bright smiles and hushed laughs even when Soobin was completely disturbing their study time.

  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one who forces him to eat whenever he gets drowned in studying, who made sure to treat and celebrate with him whenever he accomplished something. Little or big, he was there for him.

Kai _wasn’t_ the one who texted him all day, just to ask him about his day and comforted him whenever he felt lacking.

  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one who told him a bunch of dad jokes just to make him smile.

  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one who made sure Soobin was never alone and was happy whenever he knew Soobin was around.

  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one who Soobin always wanted to comfort whenever he felt insecure about himself. The one who had always been perfect and gorgeous in Soobin’s eyes

Kai _wasn’t_ the one who Soobin would’ve kissed, whose lips’ still lingered on his. Remembering how much he craved for it and how much Soobin never wanted for such kiss to end.

and

  
  


Kai _wasn’t_ the one that constantly bothered Soobin’s mind. 

Kai isn’t the only person he’s worried about now.

  
  


Kai wasn’t the one who always screamed ‘Soobinie!’ that always had Soobin smiling even if he hadn’t seen the person screaming yet. Because he always knew who it was...

That was _all_ Yeonjun. 

  
  


Yeonjun who made his whole year interesting compared to how it usually was.

  
  


Soobin laughed at himself, he’s a mess.

  
  


An utter complete mess. He had all the reasons all along. He’s just too blind to see it.

  
  


He couldn’t wait to see his hyung once again and patch things up. Go back to how they usually were and maybe hope for something more.

_Unfortunately, Yeonjun never came._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes...it took awhile for him to realize 😅
> 
> Cliches come as cliches go, Yeonjun never came because… yup, it is what it is. 👀 Ofc, I won’t let Soobin off that easy >///<
> 
> Expect slower updates as usual 😔 Honestly it’s either I was not inspired writing or I was too lazy to think that week. But pls remind me when it takes a bit too long, I’ll sit one day just to finish a chapter.
> 
> Oh, btw, I’m working on a new fic!! (I probably hinted this a bunch of times on twt and even posted it on my cc). 
> 
> There are only 5 chapters left of this fic (which makes me really sad this is my first chaptered baby and happy coz I finally could stop stressing about this) and I’m already working on a new one. Yes, ofc, I’m whipped for Yeonbin and this drought needs a lot of saving! It would be based on the movie “My Best friend’s Wedding” and hope u would like that one too~ It would be centered on Beomgyu ruining Yeonbin’s Wedding xD no hate on Beomie though, I would try my best on building their characters. I mean who doesn’t love a petty Beomgyu? I’ll be posting it’s first chapter a day after posting this <3
> 
> Also sorry for always having long end notes... I don’t feel like creating a chapter just for Author’s Notes (well atleast for me) gives this sense of feeling that the author wouldn’t continue the fic and I wouldn’t want that 😅 so pls bear with my long notes 😂 it’s my only way of talking? To u guys 😅
> 
> Chapter 11 Spoiler: title would be: Eleven Ways to Move On


	11. Eleven Ways to Move On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun finally plans to talk to Soobin but not all things go according to plan and luck has left his side already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone had been frustrated with Soobin. Trust me I am too.. I facepalm whenever I write his POVs but I really wrote him that way coz why not? I always feel like Soobin is the oblivious one in Yeonbin. Anyways, we’re back to Yeonjun! 
> 
> Btw I just googled most of these idk how to move on properly I just know that it’s very hard .

Soobin asked him to meet at the third floor music studios. Nervous, Yeonjun made his way to the building. It’s about time he faced Soobin again. When he arrived at the floor Soobin had indicated, he stopped by the front door. The door loomed in front of him and for a moment, he kept on thinking of how he should talk to the Soobin.

_ What will he say?  _

_ How will he apologize?  _

_ Is Soobin still mad at him?  _

_ Will he ever forgive him?  _

Shaking all his worries away, he held onto the knob. A conversation stopped him from opening it.

“ _ -care about you. I can’t say no to your requests. I miss you when I don’t see you. I feel bothered when you are not around that also meant I miss you too. And you’re not so bad looking either. _ ” 

Yeonjun heard Soobin talking through the door. It was completely silent afterwards, and Yeonjun didn’t know if he should enter or not. Soobin seemed to be in the middle of a confession…

_ Did Soobin finally confess to Kai? Why would he call for him then? _

He never meant to open the door. The door knob moved on its own, and Yeonjun immediately took a step back but was able to peek what was going on inside.

  
  


The sight however, made him froze on his tracks, he had felt all the air leave his lungs like he had been punched in the gut. 

  
  


There was no mistaking it. Kai was kissing Soobin. And Soobin was frozen on his seat as well, he probably wasn’t expecting Kai to kiss him so Kai pulled back for a while and dove in for more. 

  
  


_ Of course he would _ , Yeonjun thought, he used to be the one in that position. He knew what kissing Soobin had felt like. 

  
  


_ So… Kai had accepted Soobin’s feelings then? _

  
  


The thought spurred Yeonjun into action as he spun around, away from the pathway to the studio doors. He had to go. He just…—he had to go somewhere, anywhere and fast so he ran towards the elevator and headed out of the building. Yeonjun felt like he was going to throw up, his chest hurt so bad. He rushed out of the building as soon as the elevator doors opened, fumbling in his backpack for the keys to his dorm. He needed to go home. He just couldn't stay in that building for one more second. He couldn't take the image of them being together in his head for one more second.

So he gets in his room, slamming the door shut and not minding if Jihoon was around or not. He didn't care that Jihoon had suddenly woke up and shouted at him for being disrespectful, he just needed to bury himself in his bed... He tried his best to hold the tears in but he couldn't, they started slipping as soon as his head hit the pillow and hid beneath his blankets, surrounding himself with darkness. 

His mind kept slipping back to the scene that had just happened. The confession and the kiss. Even worse, the way Soobin texted him to be there as if knowing that Kai wouldn’t reject him. Of course Kai wouldn’t reject him! Soobin is important to Kai as is Kai to Soobin. Of course, they loved each other. Yeonjun was just nobody to him. The person Soobin cared for was Hueningkai, his precious dongsaeng, not Yeonjun. His friend.

And that's all he was.

  
  


_ It was hopeless, what was he even thinking? _

  
  


And he could feel his heart breaking.

  
  


That was all it took for Yeonjun to know that he never had the chance in the first place.

  
  
  


Yeonjun buried his face onto his pillow as he broke down into more sobs. He felt every single emotion he had been trying so hard to suppress, bubble up to the surface and for once, he cried for himself. He cried for the fact that his first love, his one and only true love had slipped from his grasp. He cried for the fact that everything was all his fault. He had been the one who refused to tell Soobin the truth about how he felt and he had been the one who had been the true source of all his pain.

  
  


Yeonjun sobbed for the last time in a long time to come as he realized that he had really taken for granted the friendship Soobin had given him. Soobin was nothing but nice to him. He was the one who had forced his feelings onto Soobin and it was his own fault that he had let those feelings get the best of him. He was the one who expected more. What Soobin wanted was a friend, and Yeonjun decided that he would gladly put any and all feelings he had aside just so he could keep their friendship. It might be hard but he needed to move on.

  
  


_ 1 Accept how you feel _

Yeonjun accepted the fact that  _ he is still in love with Soobin _ .. he felt disappointment, he felt hurt, he felt sad, he felt shame. Over all he just felt stupid…

He accepted all those feelings, he cried all night and the next day. Jihoon himself was scared to ask what was going on as soon as he saw Yeonjun sobbing while brewing his coffee. 

He cried into his bowl of cereal because he can. It was a way of moving on he tells himself. 

_ Soobin doesn’t love him.  _

He wasn’t going to reciprocate his feelings, he loves Kai. He should accept that even if it brought pain. He should cry all his sorrows away. 

  
  


He needed to accept  _ rejection  _ because  _ Soobin loves Kai _ and would never reciprocate his feelings.

  
  


_ 2 Share with your close friends  _

“So...” Jihoon sighed as he faced him by the end of the day, “You were crying last night as you got back, slammed the door shut as if I wasn’t sleeping, cried and weep so loudly under your sheets, woke up early just to sob into our coffee maker and mourned over your cereal just to get back to bed and sob some more. You never miss any of your classes, Yeonjun. Now, will you please tell me what’s going on? And no, this isn’t about the foot. Your cast has been removed and you’ve been running around lately.”

  
  


Yeonjun sat up from the couch, and buried his face onto his pillow.  _ This is step two _ , he thought.

  
  


“I..." Yeonjun’s voice broke as he brought his hands up to cover his face. 

  
  


“Fuck this is worse than I thought. What happened?”

  
  


“Soobin”

  
  


“What happened to Soobin?”

  
  


“He... and Kai… they’re together.”

  
  


“Together?” Jihoon stiffened, “Like together? Together? In a relationship? What? How could that be?”

“God, Jihoon! Yes! They’re together now! Please don’t make me repeat it. I just can't believe how fucking stupid I was for hoping!” Yeonjun said exasperated, tears freely streaming down on his face, "I tried so damn hard to not fall for him. I knew Jihoon. I knew! I always knew he liked Kai but God, fuck! I just feel so betrayed. I really thought I had a chance but then seeing them kissing was like a slap to my face. He’ll never like me. I thought he would but he won’t. He doesn’t and will never like me."

  
  


Jihoon just stared at him in silence for a minute and walked to their mini refrigerator. He brought back a gallon of icecream, 2 bags of Doritos and a spoon, dumping everything onto Yeonjun’s lap as he grabbed the remote and sat beside him.

“What do you want to watch? Love, Rosie? Me before You? The Fault in our Stars? A Star is Born? Your choice.”

“Let’s watch all of it.” Yeonjun sniffed, taking a huge spoon full of ice cream.

  
  


_ 3 Stop daydreaming about what might have been. _

All those movies just stuck on Yeonjun’s head. He kept on telling himself that not everyone gets a happy ending. He was one of the unfortunate ones.

The next day, he stayed and watched more sad movies like the Fault in our Stars, My Girl and Titanic. All of them ended sad. But nevertheless everyone experienced their love being reciprocated.

Yeonjun didn't know how many times he had thought about it. If Soobin loved him. 

Soobin turning to him, running his fingers through his hair and pulling him close. Holding his hand, cuddling and whispering words so softly into his ear as his lips brushed over his sensitive lobes which caused him to shiver. Every time he thought about it, he felt elated. Whenever he was lost in the fantasy, he was happy for a while. But the instant gratification wasn't enough. As soon as his concentration was shattered, Yeonjun would remember how Soobin had Kai. The one that he loved. And Soobin would never feel the same way about him. But that’s what  _ Yeonjun wanted yet he now knows that he would never have it. _

  
  
4 _Recognize that he is not the one for you_

It was after two days of absences that Yeonjun thought that it was enough. He should stop locking himself up on their dorm and get some sunshine. He got back to his feet, apologized to his professors who seemed to be more understanding ever since his foot incident.

It was also then that he saw Soobin and Kai at one of the cafes they usually frequented. Soobin looked a bit sad as Kai talked to him but then his charming smile was back as soon as Kai pinched his cheeks.

Yeonjun felt like a fool staring at them through the window.

It had been so obvious since day one that Soobin liked— no  _ loved  _ Huening. He was just too stubborn to see it and trusted fate, hoping that Soobin would eventually fall for him. Yeonjun was jealous and every part of his heart ached. While he was trying so hard just to have a little part of him, Soobin had all but placed his heart into Kai’s hands like it was nothing.

He knows it’s not Kai’s fault. He knows that but it hurts so much when the other boy had so easily ripped away the person he had wanted the most.

He was Choi Yeonjun. The boy who walked up into Choi Soobin’s life just to get one kiss. Just to get a glimpse. Just to be a part of Soobin’s life. 

He wasn’t the person Soobin lined up for the kissing booth. He wasn't someone Soobin adored. He wasn’t the person Soobin loved for a long time. He wasn’t the person who inspired Soobin to be the person he was today. He wasn't Hueningkai. He was just Choi Yeonjun.

And Soobin would never want him.

  
  


_ And that’s the reality. _

  
  
  
5 _Reduce contact with him_

He stayed away from everyone— with the exception of Jihoon and Jimin hyung—as best as he could, with the excuse that his professors were finally on him after letting him skip for two days. If anyone saw through his lie, they didn’t say a word about it. Beomgyu was hard to avoid, all his queries and curiosity made Yeonjun a bit vulnerable. He explained that he was just busy, that he missed a lot of things after his foot incident and that he needed to work on a lot of things now that he was their next dance leader.

Beomgyu just nodded and said, “Just know that we’re here for you, hyung. I’m willing to listen if you need me.”

But Yeonjun didn’t want to share it with Beomgyu. In their friend group, Yeonjun was an outsider. Beomgyu and Taehyun are closer to Soobin and Kai than they were to him, and he didn’t want them to be forced to pick a side or be awkward just because of him. He just needed to avoid them.

In exchange, he spent more time with Chan and Wooyoung.

Chan wasn’t perceptive enough to notice the changes, so there weren’t any sympathetic looks or worried looks from him either. Chan helped Yeonjun distract himself by giving him tons of ideas for the dance club’s growth. Keeping him busy with a lot of choreographies and asking him for opinions on things. He was never the one to ask about personal problems and Yeonjun was thankful for that

Wooyoung on the other hand, was a nice change of pace. They were the same age and had the same interests. He didn’t remind him of the heartbreak. He didn’t ask where Soobin was or question why he was avoiding Soobin. Yeonjun felt like he didn’t have to explain himself the entire time, he didn’t need to pretend to be okay. He was willing to join him whenever he wanted to go out most of the time.

  
  


_ 6 Do the things you love _

Aside from the dance club, Yeonjun loved hanging out with his friends. His favorite place these days was the arcade. Wooyoung was always willing to join him to get out of campus. He was terrible at the games but they had fun anyways.

It was the last place he would run into Soobin—he never saw Soobin in an arcade before—that’s why he could relax and forget.

“Wooyoung, you’re horrible at this.” Yeonjun laughed at him.

“It’s because I am not an overachiever like you.” Wooyoung teased him.

“It’s fun, though.” Yeonjun shrugged.

“You should try teaching me then.”

Yeonjun nodded because it was time for him to be at least a bit challenged whenever they play.

“Yeonjun hyung?” 

Someone called from afar. There’s no mistaking it—his height made him feel so small. It’s Soobin. He’s here with Hyuka and he could see their towering heights from the other side of the arcade.

No, he couldn't deal with Soobin right now. Everything was too raw right now. If he had to hear the words from Soobin’s mouth—God no—he would die. He would pass out and he would die, he just knew it. He couldn’t bear Soobin introducing Kai as his now boyfriend. No he doesn’t know how he’d react. It would be like adding salt to his already infected wounds.

"Hyung!" a muffled voice called through the crowd, "Yeonjun hyung! Please! Please we have to talk!"

Yeonjun was immediately seized with the worst fear he had ever felt in his life. Soobin saw him. He needs to avoid him. He grabbed Wooyoung’s hand and ran for the exit.

  
  
  


_ 7 Meet new people. _

That’s the step Yeonjun cannot do because apparently he doesn’t like anyone  _ but _ him.  _ Why is moving on so hard… I’m finally on the 7th one too. _ He thought.

Jihoon and Jimin hyung forced him to talk about things and he did. He plowed through all the hurt and told them almost everything.

From the kissing booth, the day Soobin got mad at him, to the day he heard Soobin’s confession. He left out the things that Soobin told him though, because most of it were true anyway and Yeonjun didn’t need any more of their pity.

They both suggested mixers and blind dates and going to parties out of campus but Yeonjun wasn’t really in the mood to do any of those.

He rejected the thought of flings and one night stands since they never ended well. Yeonjun didn’t want a rebound. He wanted to move on without using someone else. If he did, he’s only proving that he was  _ selfish _ . Using someone else to get what he wanted. Meaning Soobin was right about him. And he didn’t want that.

He needed time to repair his battered heart before he could really move on. Bit by bit until he didn’t feel completely numb to everything else, until he didn’t feel like crying everytime he thought of Soobin.

  
  


_ 8 Time is the best healer _

Yeonjun pretended not to miss having Soobin come pick him up after his practices like before his accident.

It hurt so much every time Beomgyu and Taehyun walked in and he used every single acting skill he could muster up pretending that everything was fine. That he didn’t crane his neck just to check if a taller fella was tailing after Taehyun or quickly hiding in their dressing rooms begging Jimin to tell Soobin he wasn’t around.

He knew they were suffering too so he smiled at them, Beomgyu and Taehyun, and made small talks all the while willing away every horrible thought.

He had to get used to eating alone, studying alone, walking home alone and not having someone text him  _ ‘Good night, hyung _ ’ at the end of the day.

_ 9 You can still love him. _

He stayed at their dorm, instead of going to the library at 6am in the morning to study. He knew Soobin was gonna be there. He was quietly writing his notes but somehow got distracted by his playlist. He didn't know he was crying until he saw the splattering of a teardrop on his paper. Yeonjun looked down at his now wet notebook. He knew he shouldn’t listen to ‘Chasing Pavements’ and a bunch of Taylor Swift songs while he was studying.

Yeonjun knew he shouldn't, but he let his thoughts drift to Soobin and Kai. He thought about the two of them together and the relationship they had. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he was going to end up dry heaving into the toilet. 

  
  


The only words Yeonjun could think were that they better hold each other tight and give each other all their love, because Soobin deserved it and Hueningkai deserved it too. They deserved each other. He hoped that whenever Kai looked into Soobin’s beautiful eyes he knew deep inside his heart that he was so so lucky. Because Kai had everything that Yeonjun would forever have to live without.

  
  
_ 10 Remind yourself why you’re awesome _

  
  


Everything still hurts and Yeonjun just wanted to throw in the towel and remember how far he’s already come, thinking back to the days when Soobin  _ wasn’t even a part of his life _ . He survived two years in university without the taller one. He can do this. He’s Choi Yeonjun for fucks sake.

Yeonjun threw himself wholeheartedly into school and dance the next few days. It was not that hard to do. A myriad of projects always managed to sneak up on him, no matter how many reminders he scrawls in the margins of his notebook. He always checked what else he had to do but then said notebook was also filled with sketches of a certain  _ someone.  _ He reminded himself that he has to get rid of those soon. But not right now, he still holds on to his ugly sketches.

_ It’s fine. It’ll be fine. It has to be. _

It’s been a few weeks now, since The Soobin and Hueningkai Incident.

_ It’s fine. It’ll be fine. It has to be. _

It had become Yeonjun’s mantra every night now as he squeezed into their dorm room.

_ He’s fine. He’ll be okay. He can do this. _

  
  
  


_ 11 Ask yourself if you would rather not have loved the person at all. _

Yeonjun locked his phone after seeing the last one. He closed his eyes and slept tight, ignoring all the ways he'd read and done to move on.

Because loving Soobin was never a mistake. It was better that he met Soobin, became his friend, knowing and falling for him, than not loving and not knowing him at all.

_ ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all’ _ \- I Envy Not In Any Moods by Alfred Lord Tennyson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun’s chapters have been really short lately T-T it’s just I can’t make him too sad. 
> 
> A lot of you guys have been anticipating? Nervous about? This chapter 😅 Please bear in mind that I cannot write angst and that this wouldn’t even probably make you cry but I tried my best to make it sad. I do hope it reached your expectations >///< Worry not my next update will come sooner since my initial goal wasn’t met and I realized how lazy i was with updating this. Crossing my fingers on finishing this before September ends.


	12. A Dozen Tries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin does his best to get a hold of Yeonjun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I’m back 😭 sorry for the unannounced hiatus! I promised a quick update but then that went to trash sorry 😅 
> 
> P.S. A very frustrating chapter ahead.

Kai rolled his eyes as Soobin continued pouting. 

  
  


“Yeah, got it, hyung. It took you awhile to realize you like Yeonjun hyung yet he didn’t come to meet you. But really, Soobin hyung. You’re just gonna stay here and whine? What are you planning on doing? Will you just let your relationship falter just like what you did all these days?”

  
  


“You’re so mean, why did I even think I liked you?”

  
  


“I don’t know hyung, I don’t know.” Hueningkai disapprovingly shook his head, “BUT the point is you’re so dense hyung! And _slow_ and _annoying_ at this point. Like, _Find him_ hyung! Don’t just sit here! Do something!”

“Like what?”

“Awww… is my hyungie poongie pouting??” Hyuka pinched Soobin’s cheeks, imitating his pout and went back to his serious, annoyed look—which actually made Soobin laugh, “It doesn’t suit you hyung, stop it.”

“Do you think I’m not searching for him? I haven’t seen him in days! I kept on coming back here hoping I would see him. He won’t even answer my calls and texts since _that_ day.”

“This is what you get for being so dense, hyung. Do you think Yeonjun hyung can hide forever? Look for him. It’s the only way”

* * *

The _first_ time Soobin saw Yeonjun after their ‘argument’ was when Huening asked him to go to the arcade to help him lose up a bit. 

Honestly, Soobin wasn’t in the mood to go out. It’s been two weeks since he last saw Yeonjun, five days since that day Yeonjun didn’t appear in the studio. Five horrible days where Yeonjun didn’t reply to his messages and not catching any glimpse of his hyung anywhere around the campus. It was as if Yeonjun never really existed.

Soobin got it. He really did, he’s a _dumbass_ who got angry out of nowhere, who shouted at his hyung for apparently being the nicest human being. Soobin understood why Yeonjun was avoiding him. Yeonjun hyung’s probably mad ‘cause Soobin’s been stupid and inconsiderate. But, _fuck,_ did he miss him.

  
  


So even if Hueningkai tried his best to distract him with a lot of games and fun, Soobin just couldn’t keep his mind off of Yeonjun. It’s why when he saw the older by the basketball machine, Soobin believed he was hallucinating.

He quickly tapped Hyuka’s shoulder a bunch of times, “I’m not dreaming, am I? That’s Yeonjun hyung, right? Hyuka, it’s Yeonjun hyung. It’s him.”

The younger complained, pushing away Soobin’s hands as he nodded, pushing his hyung to go after his other hyung, “Yes! It is go!”

  
  


“ _Fuck_ -Hyung!!” Soobin tried yelling over the heads, standing on his tip-toes. “Yeonjun hyung!!” 

_Dammit, Soobin._

Head, Heads, Heads. Fucking heads everywhere. Where the hell did Yeonjun go? He stopped midway and tried to push down the feeling of hurt as he saw Wooyoung being pulled by Yeonjun out of the arcade, running out of the place as if avoiding Soobin. 

Well, atleast, Soobin had confirmed that Yeonjun was _indeed_ avoiding him.

* * *

  
  


_Quiet, only a few people around, silence. No familiar face._

Soobin sighed as he scanned the desks and no Yeonjun found in the library either. He came at the usual time that they did, as soon as the library opened in fact, searched all floors and even stayed for a whole day. Apparently, Yeonjun isn’t staying in the libraries either. It doesn’t stop Soobin from looking up and checking whenever someone enters the library.

“No signs of him yet?” Taehyun asked, settling beside the spare seat, startling poor Soobin.

  
  


Defeatedly, Soobin shook his head, “Seen him anywhere?”

  
  


“Hyung, it’s hard to find a person who didn't wanna be found.”

  
  


“You think I didn’t know that?” Giving up, Soobin just turned his attention back to his book, “I just want to see him. Apologize, maybe. And talk.” _I miss him._ He wanted to add.

  
  


“Hmm… good luck with that hyung. I hope you fix this thing soon.”

* * *

Soobin knew Yeonjun’s classes and schedule by heart. Unfortunately, he never knew the rooms or buildings. Now that he thought about it, Yeonjun always walked him to his building but Soobin never did. 

_Wow, he’s so pathetic._

The dance studios on the other hand, was a different story. Soobin was nervous the first time he tried to ask, of course. But the whole dance team seemed to know that he and Yeonjun fought or something. Everyone didn’t know where Yeonjun was or probably, they didn’t bother telling Soobin where he was.

It has been so long and Soobin still hasn’t heard from Yeonjun, it was so frustrating.. He latched onto the only news he hears from Beomgyu. It wasn’t much since Beomgyu didn’t want to disclose other information since Yeonjun wasn’t talking that much, he said. He’s taken Beomgyu’s advice— space is always good _but_ Soobin hasn’t even received a single text from him. Not one.

Soobin scuffed the toe of his shoe against the floor walking once again towards the library building. Hoping he’d see Yeonjun. He missed him. He missed his stupid, breathless giggles and how he’d stop and point at every beautiful thing they passed. Going on walks with him in the early mornings, buying a lot of shit from the convenience store and all of that. And no, Soobin wasn’t giving up. He’d keep on trying if he has to.

* * *

Like a stalker, Soobin always walked by the dance studio, the cafes, the convenience store, the entrance of Yeonjun’s dorms and the library as much as he could, hoping he’d at least get a glimpse or meet Yeonjun .

It happened once, _only once_. He saw Yeonjun walking back to the dorms with Wooyoung by his side.

He looked happy, with a smile on his lips.

A pang of want had hit him so hard.

He missed having Yeonjun by his side, always grinning and laughing as they walked home, he missed the way he looked up to him, complaining how the world is unfair for giving him two sets of dimples and a really tall height, and missed how Yeonjun always seemed to know how he feels even if he didn't say it outloud, most of all he missed having him all to his own. 

But he shouldn't, he didn't have the right to. Besides, that was all back then. Soobin could only hope that his hyung would talk to him soon.

* * *

He kept going back to the dance studios. Soobin exhaled shakily, wondering if he ever hurt Yeonjun involuntarily more than what he did. Yeonjun should be there, but he never once saw him.

So he tried again and again. Each time Jimin was there shaking his head and by the nth time, he got it.

No matter how many times he told himself it’s a coincidence, there was no way so many coincidences could happen in a row.

  
  


Jimin was almost closing the door before Soobin spoke again.

  
  


“Fuck, hyung. I’m sorry- but- Why is he avoiding me? What am I supposed to do?”

  
  


“I think you know the answer to that, Soobin.”

  
  


Soobin couldn’t see his face, but he knew it didn't matter much. Sometimes, Jimin hyung was cryptic and he knew that the senior was mad at him, too.

* * *

As the days flew by, Soobin found it harder and harder to be separated from Yeonjun. And he often found himself thinking about him… his soft giggles… the way his charming eyes smiled, always disappearing when he looked at Soobin.

And he didn’t know how to feel, didn’t know what he should do.

Back then, every slight form of contact; when Yeonjun’s fingers would accidently brush past his, or when their shoulders gently bumped, it did leave Soobin with a feeling he never felt before. It made him happy, now that he thought about it. 

It felt so tempting, and accelerated his heartbeat, and so uncontrollably so whenever he thought about those things. But it was also exciting, and it made Soobin’s day every time his eyes would cast upon his hyung. And now,

  
  
  


He wanted to hold him.

He wanted to keep him in his arms.

He wanted to be there for him, to be the only one he needed.

Soobin wanted it all, but he was naive. He was a fool. He really took a long time before he realized. 

He never knew what he had. 

  
  


He wanted to chase after his dreams, but what if his dreams wanted to run away from him?

  
  


* * *

One pathetic day, Soobin felt desperate enough to grab a senior before the senior entered the studio. He knew that once he knocked, Jimin sunbae would be the one to face him. And there’s no chance of meeting Yeonjun hyung then.

The senior he grabbed however, was Chan sunbae. Soobin never knew him personally, just knew that he was part of the dance team.

“Oh, hey, you’re back. Looking for Yeonjun?” Chan asked, “I don’t know where he is but he should be here somewhere. If not he might’ve probably gone back home.”

Soobin sighed and nodded dejectedly. He was about to turn around but Chan stopped him.

“Dude, I don’t know what happened to you two, nor do I care. But it seems Yeonjun is too keen on avoiding you. If I were you, I’d talk to Jihoon to get a hold of him. If you’re desperate.” 

  
  


And so he did that. He thought of approaching Jihoon for the longest time but the senior was also hard to get a hold of especially since Jihoon was in his third year. The moment Soobin got his chance and saw the senior coming out of one of the laboratories, he didn’t hesitate to approach him.

“Oh, hi, Soobin!” Jihoon cheerfully greeted. “Do you need anything?” 

It actually felt great, for the first time ever, someone actually felt happy seeing him. Those who knew him and Yeonjun, had always looked uncertain and wary whenever Soobin approached them. 

“Hey, hyung..uh..” Soobin had no other choice but to get to the point. It was his last resort. His last chance and he’s taking it. “Can I ask for a favor?”

  
  


“If this is about Yeonjun, I don’t think I could he-”

  
  


“Please, Jihoon hyung” Soobin pleaded, “Please, I just really need to talk to him.”

  
  


Jihoon looked apprehensive as he looked at Soobin but the change in the senior’s expression made him hope. Probably, pitying Soobin, not that Soobin minded.

  
  


Jihoon sighed and scratched his head, “Aish! Okay, okay, come visit our dorm. Please talk and fix this.”

* * *

Soobin’s heart was somehow both dancing and fractured at the same time. On one hand— _finally_. He’d see Yeonjun. After almost a _goddamn_ month. The words “please talk and fix this” coupled with their most likely awkwardness—Soobin didn’t know what to think.

The path to Yeonjun’s dormitories was one he knew well at this point. He was glad Jihoon told him their room number and now… he was allowed to visit Yeonjun.

And then there he was, by their door.

Soobin knocked without thinking.

He just waited, whispering reassurances to himself, ‘ _Just be honest. Just be open and honest. You can do it. You can do it.’_

Yeonjun opened the door, looking at him shyly. Blush tinted Soobin’s cheeks as he stood there, waiting for Yeonjun to say something.

Yeonjun walked nervously towards him with a hesitant smile. “Hi, Soobin...”

Just like that, they were back to formalities. 

Gone were the nicknames and gone were the sunny smiles he was graced with every time.

Seeing him like that felt wrong. The look on Yeonjun’s face didn’t fit him.

They both went inside and thankfully, Jihoon wasn’t around.

“Thank you for coming.” Yeonjun tried to sound as welcoming as he could. “It’s been a long while huh?”

Soobin took a seat across him, back straight and hands cold yet sweating.

_Silence_.

Yeonjun cleared his throat. “Do you want to get a coffee or something?”

“It’s fine, I’m not that thirsty, hyung.”

Silence again.

It made him realize how much Yeonjun usually talked, now that he doesn’t.

“I was a bit harsh with my words last time.” He went straight for the kill because the faster he got the words out, the faster he could get out of this awkwardness and more importantly, get back to how they’re used to be. He braced himself and attempted to get on with his apology. “I was just worried about Huening and I said some things I didn’t mean. Kai is just too good of a person to say his problems, so I was just…I’m really sorry, hyung... I hope you can forgive me...” He searched his mind for a word to properly describe what he’s feeling but the only word he can come up with was sorry, so he said just that for now.

“I understand.” Yeonjun said diplomatically. “Kai is the nicest person I've ever met. He always takes so much time to make all of his tracks and I just didn’t— I wasn’t able to take good care of what he gave me.” 

For the first time, he noticed the dark eye bags underneath his hyung’s eyes and the pale cast to his usual flushed face. All his words come rushing back towards him. He felt horrible all over again.

That thought is quickly pushed aside when he feels an urge to just hug Yeonjun and tell him that it’s all okay and that it was Soobin’s fault, never his. And that he liked him, probably loved him even. He had a lot of things to say, now that he finally has Yeonjun in front of him.

He panicked and latched onto the first thing he could think of.

“Are you... feeling better?” His question is a little stilted but he forces it out of his mouth anyways. “Beomgyu told me you sprained your foot a few days ago.”

Yeonjun’s cheeks went bright red and his eyes snapped back towards his hands. “I’m okay, it was just a sprain, that’s all.”

“I’m… glad… I… wanted to see how you’re doing, hyung. And apologize… It _really_ has been awhile...”

Soobin never expected it to hurt, a lot more than he wanted to admit, to see that usual bright smile dim whenever Yeonjun’s eyes met his. He wanted to ask; why he never came, why was he avoiding him, was Yeonjun mad?

“It’s really okay… I understand and… well, I’ve been fine.... Just busy… you know… dance captain, finals and all...”

Another silence. 

“Is there anything else?” Yeonjun asked.

Honestly, a lot of things have been running on Soobin’s head. He wanted to stay, hang out just like the old times. He wanted to remove this awkwardness once and for all. But there’s still something else. As if there was a barrier between him and Yeonjun that he couldn’t get through. So instead he shook his head, hearing the dismissal. “Thanks, hyung. For accepting my apology.”

  
  


Yeonjun just gave him a tight smile, one that didn’t even reach his eyes as he stood up, heading to the door. Silently asking Soobin to leave.

  
  


Soobin just sat there, staring blankly at the floor. He refused to just leave the place… 

  
  
  


He has to do something. Anything. 

  
  


“Then, I guess, I’ll see you around, Soob—”

  
  


Suddenly, Soobin stood up, approaching Yeonjun.

  
  


_Maybe because he hadn’t seen Yeonjun in so long..._

  
  


pulled Yeonjun by his waist….

  
  


_Maybe because he missed Yeonjun so much..._

_Maybe because he just wanted to..._

  
  


So he kissed him.

  
  


_Yeah, Soobin considered himself dumb._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this is cliche af? Yeah >\\\\\<  
> I’m sorry I kept on lying on my end notes for the previous chapters :(( I actually had chapter 12 prepared but then...I actually had to change a lot of things for this fic. This took me a while (a long long while) but I finally got around it 😭😭 coz I got sidetracked and didn’t know where it was going. So I basically trashed three chapter 12s 💀 let’s hope it doesn’t take me a month to write the next chap since it’s first half was actually written T-T but hey 👀 we’re getting closer to the ending...
> 
> BTW! I have a separate twt now for my fic updates~ it's linked on the end notes! I basically rant there about the fics I write and post sneak peeks once in a while :))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this Chapter :)  
> Chapter 13: 13
> 
> guess how mad and confused yeonjun is rn


	13. 13 Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there’s something there that wasn’t there before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it did take more than a month huh.. Excuse my summary I watched Beauty and the Beast with my little cousins recently

The first time Yeonjun kissed Soobin, it’s unforgettable. It was unplanned, abrupt, funny — he might even have said.

Yeonjun wasn’t expecting to kiss the taller guy — yet alone be Soobin’s friend. 

Basically, that kiss was where it all started.

The second time it happened, they were both drunk and they never talked about it…

They were awkward, a little hesitation could be seen on both of them, yet they managed, Soobin adjusted for them, let out the awkward air, went back to what they were, maybe even closer and Yeonjun continued to fall…

Then came that ugly incident; where Yeonjun was stupid and avoided the taller since he was ashamed and self-loathing. Only to find out that he’s a bit too late and heard Soobin’s confession to Hueningkai when he was finally ready to face him, thus going back to avoiding Soobin. 

It was a couple weeks of this; of maintaining careful pretense and avoiding the taller, moving on...

  
  
  


and now _this..._

It was then that Yeonjun _cracked._..

  
  
  
  


_Shocked. Stunned. Astounded. Overwhelmed. Confused._

  
  
  


It’s all that Yeonjun felt. 

  
  
  
  


Soobin was _kissing_ _him_.

  
  
  


Soobin’s _lips_ are on _his_.

  
  


_What?_

_Why?_

  
  


Yeonjun couldn’t understand. One moment they were awkward, silence heavy, and now… If it were any other situation, Yeonjun would be pleased - happy even - might jump out of joy and respond to the kiss. 

  
  


Soobin kissed him. 

  
  


They’re _sober_ , it’s _not_ forced, they’re not in a kissing booth… and yet...

  
  


It was _wrong_.

He pulled off. “ _What?_ ” 

  
  


Soobin seemed to snap out of his daze, shock also present on his face “I- I’m so-sorry hyung. I- I just missed you so much… I didn’t- I didn’t know what I was thinking. I-” he stuttered, but Yeonjun couldn’t fully process what was going on.

  
  


“Why would you?” He pushed the taller away, “You _can’t_ do this!” 

  
  


The younger slipped a shocked and hurt expression. “Hyung- I-” Soobin opened his mouth to respond but Yeonjun cut him off, “Soobin, you can’t go around kissing people when you’re already dating somebody!”

  
  


“What? Dating?” Soobin stepped closer once again, a confused expression on his face but Yeonjun kept on rambling.

  
  


“Yeah! You can’t just do this. Hyuka would feel sad and betrayed- and-”

  
  


“What?! Hyuka?! Hyung! What are you talking about?!” 

  
  


Soobin lightly gripped Yeonjun’s arms. Yeonjun wasn’t aware he was shaking; out of nervousness? Anger? Mortification? He doesn’t know anymore. He was avoiding this. He didn’t want to confirm this. He _loathed_ remembering that Soobin and Hueningkai _finally_ got around their feelings for each other while here, Yeonjun was left out. “You’re dating him! I heard you...” He screamed, but Soobin wasn’t phased, “Why would you kiss me when you’re dating him...” Yeonjun finally mumbled, sadness once again creeping in.

  
  


“Hyung! I’m not dating Hueningkai!” Soobin protested, letting him go as he dragged a tired hand over his face, “I’m not-”

_What?_

Yeonjun couldn’t comprehend.

_No… What is Soobin saying? He heard the confession, he even saw them..._

“But the- I saw both of you in the studio- and you- kissing each other -”

  
  


“You saw that? You came that day?” Soobin’s face creased, Yeonjun could see how Soobin seemed to finally piece up things all together, and started rambling, “Hyung, that was nothing. Kai just told me I was being stupid and said I didn’t like him at all and I didn’t believe him so he kissed me and that was nothing and-”

  
  


“And why would you kiss me?!”

  
  


“I- because- hyung- I- ”

  
  


_Silence._

  
  


Both of them heaved heavily, not noticing that they were shouting. How much information they exchanged and let out in a few seconds compared to a few moments ago. The tension and awkward air was back.

  
  


“I think we need to talk,” Soobin said softly, right after all the shouting, and Yeonjun was still shocked and _confused as fuck_.

  
  


“ _You_ want to talk?” He said incredulously, Yeonjun was tired, confused and emotionally unstable for this. 

And then it hit him.

Soobin wanted to _talk_. It was over. Soobin knew he loves - loved - him. Yeonjun slowly sat back to one of the couches, dreading on what’s about to come. He’s caught… 

  
  


“Hyung…” Soobin swallowed dryly, also taking his seat, “you’ve been different lately, and I want to know why...” 

  
  


“I don’t know,” he said, not looking at the taller, “I guess…I didn’t know I was acting differently.”

  
  


“What does that mean?” Soobin asked, studying his face like it might give him clues. Yeonjun sighed.

  
  


“What do you want me to say, Soobin?” he asked, exasperatedly, annoyed that he’d been taught not to talk about any more of these feelings, and once he finally accepted that, _now he was being asked?_

  
  


“I don’t know, I want you to tell me what’s wrong. I want things to go back to normal.” Soobin stared back, trying to put all the pieces together.

  
  


“What’s normal?” he asked, rubbing a hand down his face. “What do you want from me?” Yeonjun looked like he was rapidly losing control of the situation, which was strange because Soobin hadn’t asked any hard questions.

  
  
  
  


“You’ve been pulling away from me,” Soobin said, his voice quiet. “I actually came here because I wanted to know if I did something wrong. Other than that time I shouted at you. Hyung, it was very wrong of me to that especially with how you actually gave the Kai’s drive to Beomgyu. You didn’t do anything wrong and I would apologize a bunch of times for that. And hyung, I am _not_ dating Hueningkai. That day at the studio, I was waiting for you. I wanted to apologize that day but you never came. Now that you’ve told me you came that day… I’m relieved and a bit hurt. That day, Kai actually laughed at me when I confessed.... What a rejection, huh?”

  
  


“He rejected you?” Everything was a mess, he thought Soobin was mad at him, he thought Soobin and Kai were dating, and now, Yeonjun couldn’t comprehend why Hueningkai would reject Soobin... and if Soobin was rejected, why did he see them kissing? 

  
  


“Yeah he did and I’m actually glad. There’s nothing going on with me and Kai… that thing you saw in the studio that day was nothing… Hyuka kissed me to prove that I didn’t have any feelings for him” Soobin chuckled as if it was a joke, “and guess what? He was right, hyung. I have no feelings for him whatsoever. And… did… you …” he could see Soobin hesitating, “Hyung, is that why you’re avoiding me? Avoiding us? Because you thought… Hyuka and I are dating? Or is it because… you were mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”

  
  


It broke Yeonjun’s heart a little, to have to decide the answer to that. Had Soobin done anything wrong? He kept avoiding the taller because he knew full well that he was in love with him, and knowing that the one you loved was dating someone else, hurts. He even tried to move on. And even if Soobin tried to approach him, Yeonjun could only blame himself for the sucking wound in his chest.

  
  


“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, wearily. “But that doesn’t mean I’m okay.”

  
  


“What’s wrong?” Soobin asked, scooting even closer to the edge of his seat, reaching out to place a hand on Yeonjun’s knee.

  
  


“It just kinda sucks, you know, for me... Because I...” _No_. He’s not ready to confess that he had — or even still have — feelings for the younger. He was not so sure himself. Yeonjun decided to think things through. He’s confused and tired… “I think I need some time to think Soobin...”

Soobin seemed to relax because of this and gave a small smile.

“Okay...I’m glad we’re okay...” Soobin said standing up from his seat, “...but I hope you can be with us soon enough, hyung. I miss having you around. _I miss you_.”

* * *

  
To say that Yeonjun is _confused_ was an understatement.

Yeonjun was still in the process of moving on when Jihoon literally told him he’s gonna have a visitor the next day. He didn’t know who to expect yet somehow a part of him knew, hoped and wished that it was Soobin.

Yes, he was avoiding the taller.

Yes, he knew he never had a chance but he couldn’t lie to himself and say he didn’t miss him.

But now that this happened, Yeonjun tried to piece out his feelings; He’s _giddy_ because Soobin missed him, _glad_ that Soobin and Hueningkai weren’t actually together, _mad_ that he wasted weeks of moping, _annoyed_ because _why_ hadn’t Soobin approached him earlier, and basically, his emotions were all over the place. 

  
  


It’s no surprise that when Jihoon, Jimin and Wooyoung came in later that night to see how Yeonjun was doing. They see the fool wrapped in his blanket - looking like a dumb burito - by his bed staring at absolutely nothing.

  
  


“Hey~” Jimin hyung approached him first, not knowing what to expect, “How did the talk go?”

  
  


Yeonjun sat up, still wrapped in his blanket, facing Jimin and not knowing where to start.

  
  


“Do I have to punch someone? Was he an asshole?” Wooyoung said.

  
  


“Soobin? An asshole? I don’t think so” Jihoon chuckled, “Naive, slow and dumb would be the description. _Wow no wonder you liked him._ You’re basically the same...”

  
  


“Shush” Jimin reprimanded, “Let him talk, you two are the assholes here.”

“Yeah and this is actually my place” Jihoon mumbled. Jimin glared at the younger who raised his hands in surrender.

Yeonjun explained what just happened, the awkward talk, the truth about the drive, Soobin’s apology and Soobin kissing him. _Especially, Soobin kissing him_. All three of them listened.

“He just kissed me out of nowhere, hyung and I was so shocked because I _know_ he’s dating Kai. But apparently he _isn’t_ , I was just a fool all along! I’m so confused and startled and… he… I don’t know how or what to feel...”

After a few minutes of silence, Jimin talked.

“Yeonjun, you still love him.” Jimin said, with so much compassion that it made Yeonjun’s entire chest ache, “That’s okay...”

  
  


And that’s all it takes to tip him over the edge.

  
  


“I know,” he choked, sniveling into the warm fuzzy blanket wrapped around him. “I’m just so confused, hyung. So stupid and dumb for assuming and making my self so- fucking stupid, I even tried to move on and for what? Absolutely. Fucking. Nothing.”

  
  


“Hey, hey, breathe —” Jimin soothed. “So what are you going to do now that you learned that it’s all a misunderstanding?”

  
  


“I- I don’t know hyung… I need to figure something out.”

  
  


“There’s nothing to figure out. You love him. That’s it,” Jihoon said, “It’s like… You know what? The only thing you need to figure out is whether Soobin likes you too.”

  
  


“That’s the thing… he didn’t… he said he missed me… I don’t want to assume anything... Like how I assumed he was dating Kai… what if he just missed me as a friend.”

  
  


“Miss me as a friend my ass!” Wooyoung said after a long while, “Do friends who miss each other kiss each other? I don’t think so.”

  
  


Yeonjun blinked his wet eyes, and then, weakly said, “I don’t think Soobin likes me like that.”

  
  


“How do you even—”

  
  


“Look. Why don’t you start hanging out again? Give it some time,” Jimin paused their little banter, and felt his hyung slowly starting to shake his head then sat by his bed with exhaustion, “Yeonjunie, you’re the most relentless person I’ve ever met. But, for some reason, you’re always so quick to give up on yourself.”

  
  


Yeonjun inhaled, breath wavering.

“No matter what you think, it’s never too late to try and find out. You never know what’s gonna be in store for you. Maybe he likes you too, you never know.”

  
  


An exhale. A release.

  
  


And then he thought, in a moment of bewildering clarity, that maybe they had a point. Maybe he should stop doubting things including himself. Maybe if he’d just trusted himself the way his friends do then he wouldn’t be here, and maybe everything will be alright.

* * *

  
They decided to meet again two days later. There wasn't much change. He still felt a bit awkward but Yeonjun started to notice some things.

  
For one is that Soobin kept on texting him - _he does everyday but only now did Yeonjun have the courage to reply, add the fact that they talk almost 24/7 now_ \- and second, he asked if Yeonjun wanted to have dinner outside of campus. 

  
  


Just _them_ , Soobin and Yeonjun. 

  
  


No Hueningkai or Beomgyu or Taehyun. 

  
  


Just the two of them. 

  
  


Soobin quickly added that he still owed Yeonjun that one dinner he promised after he won the dance competition.

  
  


Yeonjun thought, why not? But that didn’t mean he’s not nervous. He’s been planning his outfit and ended up having five options. Jihoon, who wasn’t even really helpful, just nagged and said yes to everything.

  
  


He went with outfit number 3 and wore his black bomber jacket over it, even though this thing with Soobin would not even begin to approach date territory. 

  
  


He might’ve or might’ve not also worn his thickest-soled boots so he would appear a tiny bit taller than he actually is. Just to at least be closer to Soobin’s height.

  
  


_It’s not a date._

  
  


He ran a hand through his hair, made a face at his reflection, and left his dorm.

  
  


Outside, the city was alive. The sidewalks were packed with groups of college kids laughing and shouting to each other; the streets were noisy. It’s cold. The air smelled like smoke and snow.

  
  


Yeonjun sure does love Seoul.

  
  
  


But not like how he loves _him_.

  
  
  


He has this thing in his head that constantly tells him that people like Choi Soobin (calm, smart and handsome) _do not date_ people like Choi Yeonjun (weird, emotional and frequently eats convenience store ramen for breakfast), and that’s totally fine. 

They’re just going to get cheapass korean barbeque and eat them probably in awkward silence, and then Soobin would make some excuse and flee the scene because it still felt weird and awkward between them. Yeonjun would then wallow in his misery and then go home to binge watch movies on Netflix. But another part of him tells him that it’s going to be okay.

  
  


A couple blocks off their campus there’s a wide alley with a night market and some ramen bar. Yeonjun could smell the fish cakes and grilled meat from half a block away. 

And—shit, there’s Soobin, standing under a streetlamp, hands in his pockets. He’s wearing a white puffy coat and a scarf and a beanie with a pom-pom on it. 

  
  


_Yeonjun is whipped_.

  
  


He pretty much ran the last half-block until he tapped Soobin on the shoulder. Soobin flinched and blinked at him for a long moment, as if Yeonjun startled him out of something much deeper than just zoning out.

  
  


“Hey,” Yeonjun said bashfully, tipping on his toes, and tried to flick the pom-pom on Soobin’s beanie. “I like your hat.”

“Really?” Soobin grimaced. “It was a gift from Beomgyu.”

The hat was pastel blue and it looked adorable on him. “Yeah...I kinda figured.”

“He went through a phase. I’m just glad he didn’t buy me an ugly sweater.”

“Was there… a moment he did?”

“You’ll see for yourself, soon enough, hyung. Taehyun would start wearing his as soon as it gets cold.”

“To be fair,” Yeonjun said, “I’m sure it made Beomgyu happy and Taehyun is just whipped.”

  
  


They were walking now. It felt nice that they could talk normally like they used to. It’s one of the many things that Yeonjun loved about Soobin. _It’s just easy_. Everything felt easy. He’s always comfortable around the younger and Yeonjun realized how he missed it.

  
  


Across the street with a wave of people, most of them headed for the night market. The smell of meat was even stronger, along with the sound of muffled pop music from the ramen bar and a hundred different voices laughing and talking.

  
  


The restaurant was crowded, even on a Tuesday. It’s much warmer with all the smoke and heat from cooking food, and the aisle between the two rows of food shops was narrow enough that Yeonjun found himself bumping into Soobin with every other step. 

  
  


“Here,” Soobin said with a smile, arriving at the barbeque place, “let’s find a place to sit.”

  
  


Two sets of meat turns into four and although Soobin insisted on paying for everything, Yeonjun wanted to share some since they did eat a lot. Then eating quietly turned into walking slowly through the market, sharing a few sticks of fishcakes, which turned into leaving the market and walking all the way to the quieter residential streets on the other side of the campus, where there are apartment buildings and cheap student housing and not much else. 

  
They finished off the fishcakes somewhere between seven and eight in the evening, but they didn't stop walking. 

  
  


Because they also kind of couldn’t stop talking.

It started with how things were when they weren’t seeing each other. They were just sitting there in the barbeque place, eating off their meat in the predicted semi-awkward silence, and then Soobin blurted out, “Dance leader huh—you’re gonna be the dance team’s dance captain next year, right?”

And Yeonjun said, “Yeah...”

And Soobin said, “Wow. You’ll get even more famous now and forget me all of a sudden...”

And Yeonjun smiled at the joke. _How could he ever?_

They went along with that topic for like forty minutes, and then Soobin mentioned how annoying Hueningkai was that he always used Soobin’s confession as some sort of blackmail material and then they talked about everything that they did the _whole month_ that they didn’t talk. 

  
At some point they found a tiny park with a playground, it had a swing set and an old slide and one of the monkey bars that Yeonjun used to love as a child, and they sat by the swings and pushed slowly back and forth as they kept talking.

Then it’s midnight.

“Shit,” Yeonjun said, checking the time on his phone, “What the fuck? When the fuck did that happen.” as he was greeted with 99+ new text messages, all of which were from Jihoon. A quick scroll told him that the messages started out teasing him about his “date” and then grew increasingly frantic as well as lewd as the hours passed by without a response.

His phone started vibrating immediately, but he placed it back on silent and stuffed it in his pocket.

“I should probably head back,” he said.

Beside him, Soobin just nodded. Soobin, who had the perks of living alone, didn’t have to worry about disturbing a roommate. 

  
  


“Yeah, yeah, me too. Didn’t realize it was so late.”

“Planned something in the morning?”

“Yeah...”

Yeonjun’s about to ask about it but then realized he was about to begin a whole new conversation, so instead he just swallowed the question. He also noticed now that sometimes, _Soobin seemed hesitant to tell him something_. But after staring at the ground, the younger suddenly had this determined look in his eyes as he asked, “I’ll walk you home then?”

“You don’t need to walk me, what the hell. My dorm is blocks away from yours.”

Soobin pouted at him. “I just wanna make sure you get home okay. Besides it should be my treat today yet you still paid for half of what we ate. Walking you back doesn't cost much”

Yeonjun glared at him for a long moment. “…Fine,” he agreed dejectedly, kicking absolutely nothing. “Have it your way.”

“Okay,” Soobin said, standing up. When he turned around, Yeonjun was still looking at him and the younger was carefully observing him, “Come on, hyung, it’s cold and you’re already shivering.” 

“My hands are cold.” Yeonjun didn’t even notice he’s starting to shiver, “I guess it’s because we’ve been outside for hours.”

“Why weren’t you wearing gloves?”

“I didn’t think it’ll be this cold.” 

Yeonjun puffed some air into his hands, doing his best to warm them.

“That won't help, hyung,” Soobin scolded, as he slipped his own gloves off and insisted that Yeonjun wear them for their walk back. 

Soobin’s hands were warm, carefully slipping the gloves on Yeonjun’s hands. He couldn’t help but stare at the taller’s face, _how red Soobin’s cheeks were_ , but maybe that’s only because of the cold. Nevertheless he still looked adorable in Yeonjun’s eyes.

They talked about movies on their way back.

And Soobin’s obsession with the novels rather than the movies.

As well as their classes.

Finally, they reached Yeonjun’s building. 

Yeonjun realized with a sick sort of thud that he really, really doesn’t want this night to end, at least not like this: with the two of them standing a polite three feet apart, Soobin’s scarf pulled up to cover his mouth. 

If Yeonjun had his way, he would step forward and tug the scarf down, whisper his goodnight into Soobin’s mouth. But tonight, they’re still stepping on eggshells. He knew that, and it’s fine, but it did make his stomach hurt a little bit.

“Thanks,” he said, as they linger outside the entrance to the building.

Soobin glanced at him. “For what?”

“I dunno. Hanging out with me, I guess. It’s cool talking to you again… and taking some time to be with me…yeah. _Just_ . Thanks.” _It meant a lot_. He wanted to add but didn’t.

“Yeah, no problem, hyung,” Soobin said after a short pause. “Anytime. You, uh, you have my number, so… you can ask me out anytime.”

Yeonjun smiled and punched him lightly on the shoulder. _Ask me out anytime… yeah right…_ Soobin made a fake-hurt noise and staggered backward, pretending like he'd been mortally wounded, but his dark eyes were glittering.

_There’s a moment._

There’s a moment where Soobin should say, “Okay, see you around, hyung,” and Yeonjun should reply, “Yeah, goodnight, Soobinnie” and they should part ways.

Instead, Soobin just sort of—went still. Yeonjun was still clutching at his keys on his hand, but he’s not going for the door. He’s just standing there, his eyes flickering over Soobin’s face and then to the sidewalk and then up again, waiting for Soobin to leave but the younger just _doesn’t_. He just stared back, eyes glazing over Yeonjun’s face and he could see his eyes lingering on his lips too. Yeonjun didn’t know what to do.

If it were anyone else, Yeonjun would think the other wanted to kiss him. He could see how Soobin would step forward and curl his hands around Yeonjun’s face and tip his chin up and kiss him. If it were anyone else—

But it’s Soobin. It’s Soobin, and they always had issues about kissing, which meant that if they kissed once again and ended having another fucked up moment — if Yeonjun fucks this up — it would be awkward again and horrible forever and _besides_ , they just made up and they’re okay, now. Because Soobin was just nice like that.

If it were anyone else… Yeonjun wold've closed his eyes and waited...

but it’s _not_ anyone else. It’s Soobin.

And Yeonjun is Yeonjun.

So he just said, “Have a good night, Binnie,” and then he left, eyes on the ground, unable to look at Soobin’s face. Not turning back.

Halfway through his room, he realized he’s still wearing Soobin’s soft, warm gloves.

* * *

"You're supposed to be in class," Yeonjun said the second he saw Soobin enter the dance studio yet he stepped aside to let Soobin in, frowning. "It's Friday. You have Anatomy right now."

"Professor cancelled on us," Soobin shrugged. "He said he got food poisoning."

"And you’re here because?"

_Soobin has been popping out everywhere_. 

He’s always there and not even _accidentally_ this time. It’s as if _he’s been seeking Yeonjun_. Knowing each other’s schedule by heart didn’t help. He knew Soobin’s schedule, Soobin knew his. 

Soobin has been popping out in the mornings; either by his dorm or by his front door. Sometimes he’s waiting for him by the convenience store whenever Yeonjun craves ramen. And times like this, when he’s in the studio, Soobin never missed a day.

  
  


And Yeonjun wondered why...

  
  


"Oh, because you’re here and I _know_ that you’ve been here for a while. It’s lunch time, hyung" Soobin plopped down on the floor and unloaded the bag of takeout he'd brought: fried chicken and kimbap and some kimchi. He tossed Yeonjun a pair of chopsticks without looking and snorted when he heard them clatter to the floor.

"Jerk," Yeonjun said. "Don't just throw things at my face especially if I just finished practice."

Soobin just shrugged as he opened everything. Yeonjun joined him on the floor, sitting cross-legged, his pale, tiny waist a bit exposed. Yeonjun's outfit looked particularly soft today in his pink Balenciaga cropped sweater that framed his tiny waist, and it made him feel a bit conscious around the taller.

"Why'd you bring me food, anyway," Yeonjun mumbled, even as he grabbed a piece of chicken. "You trying to bribe me or something? What did you do?"

Soobin pouted, another thing that he also does these days. "I just care for you, hyung. Is that bad?”

"That's just..." Yeonjun couldn’t help but feel flustered.

"Well...since I see no problem with _me_ taking care of _you_ , just let me.” Soobin shrugged, handing a drumstick to Yeonjun, “Take care of you hyung.”

"Oh god, I feel so pampered.”

"To be fair, I was a shitty friend for a while."

"Why aren’t you over that?!," Yeonjun whined, chopsticks frozen halfway to his mouth, wrapping his arms around the taller, it looked weird but Yeonjun doesn’t care, "Shit, poor Binnie. He’s still not over his mistakes and is _whining_ and taking care of his _poor_ hyung.” His lips twitched, trying his best not to laugh.

"Deadass, I thought you were never gonna talk to me again. Like, I remember looking around for you and trying to figure out what I did wrong."

"Well, we’re both idiots. I mean I thought you were mad at me and then you started dating, Kai..."

"No no! Stop reminding me!," Soobin grumbled. "No, I never dated that evil child.”

This time, Yeonjun couldn’t help but cackle out loud. That raspy, choking-cat laugh. It’s ironic. Yeonjun never thought he’d be having this conversation with Soobin yet here they are. He saw how Soobin stuffed his cheeks with kimbap so he won't grin too big but then couldn’t help but laugh with him.

_Times like this, Yeonjun missed and now that it’s back, it felt as if it never even left._

* * *

  
  


Yeonjun scooted closer, looking up to Soobin from where he was resting on the younger’s thigh, and took the ear buds and listened.

This was usually what happens when he and Soobin hang out together nowadays, just the two of them. They used to hang by the library or the cafe but recently they got a bit too noisy or the cafe gets a bit too crowded. So they had to find another place to stay. They would usually go get some ramen or McDonald’s, and they sit on the curb (on a bench by the campus, in a corner table, on Soobin’s bed, on Soobin's couch, on the floor in Yeonjun’s dorm room) and share earbuds and listen to music. Sometimes they study, most of the time they talk yet sometimes they don’t.

It’s weird, maybe, but it worked for them. And now it’s gotten to the point where Yeonjun craved their quiet little hangouts, and if they didn’t see each other for a few days he would miss this. 

_Missed Soobin_ ; his steady presence, his gentle voice, his hands near his. Just like always but somehow it’s also different.

There’s something about the way he talked to Yeonjun. The way he leaned close when he listened to him. The way he easily gets closer to Yeonjun’s personal space, sometimes, how Soobin just stared at him.

Today, they’re just resting by Soobin’s couch. They’re not really in the mood to go out nor they’re ready to face the cold winds. So Soobin invited him to come along, just to ‘hang’ and even bribed Yeonjun saying he’ll order some pizza if Yeonjun wanted some. Yeonjun scooted up even further so his head is right beside Soobin’s thigh. He concentrated on the song Soobin made him listen to, letting his eyes fall shut.

“I like this,” he murmured and he’s not just talking about the song—but Soobin didn’t have to know that.

“Yeah, it's good isn't it?” Soobin answered. His voice was softer than usual. “I sent it to you. It's in my playlist. Told you to save it.”

“That’s good. I’ll save it later.”

“Mm.”

Somehow, Yeonjun fell asleep.

He’s not really sure how or when it happened. All he knew was one moment he was lying there on Soobin’s thigh, listening to his playlist, and the next moment he was waking up. Or sort of waking up: drifting, floating, a new song playing from somewhere far away.

“Oh my god,” someone cooed. Yeonjun heard it as if through an echoing tunnel. “Oh my god, Tyun, get your phone. This is so cute.”

“Shut up, Gyu,” Soobin hissed, from directly above Yeonjun’s head. “Shut up, don’t you dare—”

“They’re cuddling!”

“We are not cuddling! Shut up!”

“Beomie? What’s going—oh,” Taehyun said. “Oh this is good, this is blackmail worthy, hyung. This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

“For the love of god, shut up,” Soobin warned. “Don’t fucking wake him up, you little shits.”

Beomgyu snorted. “How vile, Soobin hyung. Never heard you cuss so much. Oh and by the way, his face is like, in your dick.”

“It is not!” Soobin whisper-yelled. “He’s the one who—he turned sideways, I don’t know, he just sort of—like, nuzzled—”

“He nuzzled his face into your dick?”

“It’s my stomach, and shut up.”

“Well, I have photographic evidence,” Taehyun said. “So much photographic evidence.”

“I will throw your phone out the window.”

There’s a little pinging noise.

“No worries,” Taehyun said. “I just sent them to Hueningkai.”

Soobin sucked in a breath. “I hate you both so much.”

“It’s not our fault you decided to spend your afternoon cuddling with Yeonjunie hyung~.”

“Like a couple.” Taehyun said.

“Shut up shut up shut up,” Soobin warned. “He’s gonna wake up, shit.”

Yeonjun, for the record, was still drifting and didn’t feel like waking up. He’s super comfortable right now. Soobin’s couch was weirdly soft, his everything was all fresh and smelled really clean - smelled like Soobin - and Yeonjun’s face might or might not be pressed up against Soobin’s thigh but he’s not even gonna worry about it. Everything’s so comfy. There’s a distinct possibility that Yeonjun’s wrapped his arm around Soobin’s waist, like, in his sleep. Like a koala. It’s fine.

“You should pet his hair,” Beomgyu said. “He loves it when we pet his hair.”

“I’m not petting his hair,” Soobin gritted. “Go away. Why are you even here?”

“Fine,” Beomgyu sang, “We just wanna hang but apparently you’re busy. You better be nice to us. Don’t forget, we got photos.”

“Are you blackmailing me right now?”

“Yes,” they both said.

“Leave,” Soobin said, and then there’s the sound of Beomgyu cackling and the bedroom door closing behind them.

With that, Yeonjun drifted back to sleep. 

A touch at his forehead. Fingertips. Slowly, hesitantly, Soobin’s hand slid into Yeonjun’s hair. Yeonjun did his best to keep his breathing steady, kept his eyes closed, and after a long moment, Soobin began to run his fingers through his hair.

It’s gentle. Soobin was always gentle but it felt a little awkward, like he’s never really done something like this before. Even half asleep, Yeonjun could tell that _Soobin’s movements were measured instead of unthinking or casual_. He scratched his fingernails lightly across Yeonjun’s scalp, and it felt really, really good. Beomgyu actually was not lying about that fact. Yeonjun loves having his hair petted.

Soobin scratched above his ear a little—like he’s petting a cat or a dog, which, sure—and Yeonjun sighed and nudged up into it. His arm tightened around Soobin’s waist.

Soobin’s fingers went still. It sounded like maybe he stopped breathing and Yeonjun didn’t understand why. But he didn’t want the touching to stop, so he pretended to be deeply asleep, letting his body settle even more into Soobin’s.

It took a while for Soobin to unfreeze, but finally he began to run his fingers through Yeonjun’s hair again, slow and tentative and still kind of awkward. Yeonjun found himself drifting further and further away, until finally his whole mind went quiet.

* * *

Of course, when everything seemed fine and bright and dandy, life would then be the bitch and decide that Yeonjun should still suffer. With their first semester ending, work started to pile up. Deadlines, finals and extra credit were _everything_. As a future captain of a certain organization as well as being a dean's lister, Yeonjun had his hands full. 

With all of that happening, there were those unfortunate moments where Yeonjun _forgot_ that overwork could cause fatigue and fatigue could give you headaches that would eventually lead to getting sick. Eventually, Yeonjun had a cold and Jihoon, like the impostor that he is, told all of his friends— friends which included Soobin.

  
  


Soon enough, Soobin let himself into the Yeonjun and Jihoon’s dorm room with his spare key _\- Yes, Soobin asked for a spare key for his room and Yeonjun willingly gave it_ \- to find owner of said room, standing in the kitchen with his duvet wrapped entirely around him. Yeonjun once again, looked like a dumb burrito. His hair was all over the place and his nose was all red, and he barely glanced up when Soobin poked his head into the room.

  
  


"Oh no," Soobin greeted, trying not to laugh. "Is our great Choi Yeonjun hyung, who is full of energy and could very much take care of himself well, sick?"

Yeonjun glared at him. "No, I am not. And don't say that word."

"What? Great? Choi Yeonjun? _sick_?"

"Shh," Yeonjun hissed, not liking how the taller mocked him. "I rarely get that and I’m not. I’m really not. It’s just gonna get into my head and then my brain will think that I am and THEN I really will be you-know-what."

"Okay, I won’t say the word.” Soobin sighed, as if pitying him, “I hate to say it, my dearest hyung but I think you already are."

"No! No way! I feel _completely fine._ I'm absolutely- see? I can even _stand_ and I’m feeling great."

"Really? Because from here it looks like you're about to fall over."

"I'm making tea," Yeonjun insisted. He _really_ believed he’s fine. 

Maybe his nose was a bit runny and his throat might be itchy or his head felt heavy and his sight might be woozy. But he was feeling alright!

They stared at each other.

"...Are you sure?" Soobin asked, "Hyung, do you think you should even be moving around right now? Because you’re not okay. You're just standing there like some creepy ghost burrito and it's freaking me out."

"I don’t think ghosts are real," Yeonjun pouted, and then coughed for like a solid minute. 

"Okay," Soobin said soothingly. "How about you tell me how ghosts _aren’t_ real _later_ , after _you_ take a _nap_?"

Yeonjun sniffled. "'M not sick."

"No, definitely not. Why don't you go sit on the couch for a second and I'll make you some tea?"

"You're not supposed to take care of me. I'm the hyung here."

"Well, that's just dumb. First of all I'm a pre-med student, it's actually my future job. Second, everyone should take care of everyone. Who cares if you’re older? You are not invincible, you know?”

"I believe I am," Yeonjun mumbled, acting petty, hating how Soobin was winning the argument. "I should be."

Soobin rolled his eyes. "Go sit on the couch, Yeonjun hyung. Unless you wanna stand here making tea for another hour."

"I can’t believe Soobinnie’s being mean to me right now," Yeonjun mumbled, still pouting but he shuffled over to the couch and collapsed onto it, landing face-first on the cushions. 

He had no clue that he fell asleep for quite some time as the younger busied himself around his dorm and soon Yeonjun was feeling light taps on his shoulder.

  
  


"Hyung," Soobin said softly, and Yeonjun didn’t stir.

Yeonjun looked at him for a moment, just to look, thinking he was dreaming. He chose to close his eyes once more and continued sleeping. Around thirty minutes later he heard clanking of the dishes and running of water, wondering if Jihoon came back. But once he slowly sat up, he saw Soobin drying their dishes and it looked as if he cleaned their place.

"What are _you_ doing?"

He asked, staring at the taller, as he slowly stood up, trying his best _not_ to stumble. Yeonjun stayed there by the couch, looking towards the kitchen, still wrapped up in his duvet. His eyes felt swollen from his sudden sleep and believed that there’s an imprint of the couch cushions on his cheek. Yeonjun just wanted to hug him and protect him from the cruel world.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

Yeonjun glanced around suspiciously. "Did you...clean?"

"Yeah." Soobin shrugged. "Had to, I needed some counter space."

"Counter space?"

"For the soup I ordered. Hey, go sit down again. You seriously look like you're gonna keel over. I'll bring everything over to you, okay?"

Yeonjun glared, wanting to argue. Soobin didn’t even have to do this but then he didn't even have the energy to do so.

"Oh, and I have to get you some water," Soobin stated, "You should be drinking lots of water. Gotta stay hydrated."

"What the? Binnie!," Yeonjun whined weakly. His felt cheeks going bright red, embarrassed with how the taller did everything for him. How he cleaned Yeonjun and Jihoon’s mess. The mess was embarrassing! He wasn’t even aware of it until he took his nap and his head now felt a bit clearer.

Soobin frowned, walking closer. "Do you have a fever?"

He closed the distance between them and brushed Yeonjun’s sweaty bangs away from his forehead, resting the back of his hand against Yeonjun’s skin. Yeonjun had no idea how to act when Soobin got even closer to observe him but he doesn't shove him away; Yeonjun just went very still, so still that maybe he's not even breathing.

"...You're not too warm," Soobin murmured, "But go sit down, hyung. _I'll take care of you_."

But then two things happened at once; Yeonjun looked up, and Soobin’s hand dropped.

And suddenly Soobin was cupping Yeonjun’s face in one hand while Yeonjun blinked up at him, lips parted in surprise.

Most days, Yeonjun forgets that Soobin is a lot taller than him. Soobin’s aura was so comforting, his low, gentle voice so captivating, that he seemed to care more than he should. Especially right now, with their faces (their bodies) so close together, with Yeonjun feeling so soft and quiet, with Soobin’s fingers brushing on his jaw, Yeonjun was hyper aware of the size difference between them. The way he had to tilt his face up to look into Soobin’s eyes.

Soobin’s eyes were mesmerizing. His cheeks were surely flushed by now, his breathing shallow.

"Why are you still here?" Yeonjun whispered. "Shouldn't you be in class or something?"

"My only class was at seven a.m. See? You feel so bad you didn't even remember," Soobin replied. He took his hand away from Yeonjun’s face and cleared his throat. "I can leave if you want. But, you're sick, and I think someone should be taking care of you."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me. It's just a cold."

"Everyone needs taking care of, dummy."

Yeonjun pushed his shoulder. "Hey. Where’s the hyung?”

"Sorry, dummy hyung” Soobin apologized, rolling his eyes. "Now go sit on the couch. Don't make me pick you up and carry you over there."

Yeonjun doubled over with a spontaneous coughing fit. Soobin hovered around him worriedly with a glass of water until it's over, and then Yeonjun finally sat on the damn couch and allowed Soobin to tuck him in and bring him the soup and tea and another glass of water and some cough medicine for good measure.

"Who knew you were so fussy," Yeonjun complained. Soobin made sure he ate and drank his medicine. He even started to unpack his things on the floor, stating that he’s gonna stay by Yeonjun’s side, "You're worse than Jihoon."

"Drink your tea," Soobin said.

For the rest of the afternoon, it stayed like this: Yeonjun dozing on the couch, Soobin sprawled out on the floor with his work. By the time Yeonjun wakes up, Soobin has finished his stuff and probably even studied a little bit extra — with all the papers and books scattered when Yeonjun saw their floor — and then there's nothing to do but watch some movies on Netflix.

Soobin could probably just go home, but ‘he doesn't want to’ he said. He didn’t want Yeonjun to wake up alone, he said. _It's just a cold_ , but Soobin insisted. It did suck being alone when you're sick. But with Soobin by his side, he felt ten times better.

* * *

There came a time where Yeonjun almost asked. He started wondering and got into a lot of thinking. 

It was another movie night. But Kai had to cancel and the couple decided to buy some snacks — which was actually taking a bit too long — leaving Soobin and Yeonjun alone.

Soobin’s arm easily hung on Yeonjun’s back. Yeonjun’s head leaned comfortably against him, all warm and content. But instead of watching, Yeonjun’s mind decided to drift off...

_Soobin —_

A million sets of questions threatened to blossom from Yeonjun’s confused mind, the very same ones that have been spinning 'round and 'round inside his mind for the past few days, weeks — months, even. 

_What are we doing?_

_What does this mean?_

_How did we get here?_

But they all promptly slither back from where they came, coiling around his throat, nearly choking him, when Soobin looked at him, as if slowly blinking his eyes, Yeonjun was speechless.

  
  


_Well, fuck. How did he get here?_

  
  


_Here_ being Soobin’s solo dorm room, by his couch, legs tangled, sharing one huge blanket and head resting on Soobin’s chest. But then there's also _here_ — a more nondescript thing, where hand-holding and almost - kisses were now more common, the constant need to be around each other, the need to stare at each other and how close they easily became once again - probably even closer. However, Yeonjun had been hesitant, didn’t want to get his hopes up and misunderstand their situation. 

Because friends can hold hands. 

  
  


They can even, on occasion, share a kiss or two. 

  
  


"Hey, Binnie?"

  
  


He turned to look at him, "Yeah?"

Yeonjun didn’t want to continue what he was saying, instead he just brought his attention back to what they’re _supposed_ to be watching. 

  
  


“Nothing… I just thought Beomgyu and Taehyun were taking a bit too long… and it’s getting late… do you think they’ll still go back?”

  
  


"Y'know, you could just… stay here," Soobin blurted out of the blue, and when Yeonjun doesn't respond immediately, Soobin must’ve broken into some kind of panic because he tacked on a hasty, "I mean- If you want, since you're already here an-and it’s really late and I don’t think Taehyun and Beomgyu would come back. Even if they would, I still think you should stay here.”

  
  


It made sense, Yeonjun knew. It was late and his dorm was a few blocks away from Soobin’s building, and maybe it was how hopeful Soobin's eyes looked, staring back at him in the dimly lit room. And how could Yeonjun just walk away from that?

  
  


How can he just walk away from him?

_He was weak. He knew._

"Okay," Yeonjun said.

"You —" Soobin blinked. "—Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I mean it’s late and you offered… it isn’t the first time…”

It really wasn’t, in fact it was the _third_ time. Once, when Jihoon kicked him out, the second when he was drunk.

"Okay," Soobin looked a bit startled, as if he hadn't been anticipating this outcome, and, for some reason, Yeonjun found it annoyingly endearing. He shimmied himself under the sheets, and scooted closer to his body. "Cool. So just, uh… y'know, make yourself comfortable."

  
  


Yeonjun continued to pretend that he was watching.

  
  


But this…

  
  


Soobin suddenly wrapped both of his arms completely around him, tucking Yeonjun’s head under his. How their almost ‘cuddle’ turned to real cuddling. Soobin nuzzled his face onto Yeonjun’s hair...

  
  


This was new.

  
  


And no, Yeonjun wasn’t dreaming. Yeonjun lowered himself onto the blanket wrapped around them, slipped half of his face under it, and stayed still. When the sound of the ruffling sheet finally subsided, Yeonjun released his breath from his tightly pressed lips, until he heard a burst of sputtering laughter.

"What?" Yeonjun demanded staring back at the younger. “Why are you laughing?!”

"Hyung, I said make yourself comfortable, not play dead," he chortled, prodding a playful finger into Yeonjun’s waist. "Seriously — could you be more stiff right now?"

"I'm just— trying to be comfortable," Yeonjun defended, twisting to avoid Soobin’s jabs and, not-so-coincidentally, hid his flushed face. "What'd you expect me to do?"

"I dunno," Soobin shrugged. "Maybe — I mean, you could just…"

The blanket ruffled again as Soobin shifted, a hand moving slowly, tentative, to reach for Yeonjun’s hip. He brought him in, placing him onto his lap so that they're close — almost face to face — so close that Yeonjun feared the younger would be able to hear the stammer of his pulse. But even if he did hear, Soobin only smiled, as gentle as the palm that slid into the dip of Yeonjun’s waist, completely back hugging him.

Soobin rested his chin on Yeonjun's shoulder, their faces touching, "This is kinda nice… right?"

His breath was warm and real against Yeonjun’s heated cheeks, tickling his skin like the sunset kisses the horizon, and yeah.

  
Yeonjun decided to stop thinking.  
  


_  
Yeah, this is kinda nice._

* * *

  
Yeonjun felt himself weakened by the not-so-subtle change every single time. He noticed everything that Soobin does. Yet Yeonjun _didn’t want to assume_.

  
  


Each time Soobin came, Yeonjun just wanted to throw himself at him and forget about everything else, to go back to his stupid fantasies and believe that once he was in Soobin’s arms, he would be safe from anything. That Soobin would reciprocate his feelings. 

  
  


There were days where he just wanted to blurt it out. Confess his feelings to the taller, and possibly live happily ever after.

  
  


But that’s only a possibility.

  
  


And he _knew_ how _hard_ it was. How it felt to be hurt.

  
  


And Yeonjun’s scared…

  
  


So scared…

  
  


He wouldn’t know how to react once Soobin rejected him.

  
  


So he stayed strong until a weird day came.

There was no good morning greeting from Soobin as soon as he woke up.

There were no replies even if Yeonjun messaged a bunch of times.

  
  


Soobin was not waiting in front of his dorms. 

  
  


He wasn’t waiting by the convenience store either.

He thought the younger was just busy so he didn’t mind at first.

But then he didn’t come to the studios too, and Yeonjun knew that Soobin didn’t have any classes that time.

  
  


It was _weird_. 

  
  


It felt weird. It was as if he woke up from a great dream. As if Yeonjun was back to not having Soobin in his life. Back to avoiding the younger or worse, back to when he didn’t know Soobin...

  
  


It was when Yeonjun was walking back to his dorm that Hueningkai called him, panic evident in his voice, wondering if he'd seen Soobin. 

  
  


And that brought him to reality. _Something’s wrong_.

  
  


So he ran to Soobin’s dorm, where all the others agreed to meet, without a second thought.

  
  


Expecting his friends crowded around the room, Yeonjun frowned when he saw nothing but dimmed lights and candles spread around the room. 

  
  


Nightlights brightened the room as soon as he walked through the door.

  
  


_And saw him..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t make Yeonjun suffer longer I guess 🥺 
> 
> I actually never knew what 13 was gonna be I was plannin an angst; my first plan was 13 by LANY the song then it became 13 Signs that Yeonjun couldn't move on... but then it turned out to be 13 Signs that Soobin liked Yeonjun too xD
> 
> I didn’t know how this got so much recognition when I give slow updates to this really cliche fic, still...I’m so thankful to all subscribers, commenters, and readers <3 only 2 chapters left and I’m making sure this would end before 2021 comes~ 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience~
> 
> Chapter 14: 14 Years…. later? no jk 😂


	14. Fourteen Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin is a man with a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did my best...

Honestly, Soobin wasn’t even planning on telling Hueningkai but there he was, on his phone. Soobin called him as soon as he finished the ‘talk’ with Yeonjun. Probably out of nervousness - out of relief? - Or maybe just to get it out of his system.

Then… he sorta regrets it after telling his dongsaeng the whole story...

“So...” Hueningkai started, “You’re telling me, you both went quiet and still… then you kissed him like the dumbass that you are, _finally talked_ , found out that _he_ _thought_ we’re dating… and never _confessed_ that you like him?”

“Well… yeah… that pretty much sums it up…”

He could feel the impending screech from the other side of the line. Kai was his dearest dongsaeng, sure, but getting reprimanded by someone younger was never his plan. So he wasn’t that surprised when he found himself in a so-called ‘emergency meeting’ hours after his phone call with Kai.

  
  


“So let me get this straight,” Beomgyu began on a rare afternoon that Soobin and the whole gang - except for Yeonjun - were not busy. “Yeonjun hyung avoided Soobin hyung, not hanging out with all of us in the process, because Soobin hyung _thought_ Yeonjun hyung was mad at him while Yeonjun hyung _thought_ Soobin hyung _was the one_ mad at _him_ AND he also _thinks_ Hyuka and Soobin hyung were _dating_... Now both you and Yeonjun hyung have _finally_ talked and _finally_ _understand_ the real situation, telling that you missed one another, have been kissing for _multiple_ times, - one occasion which specifically wasn’t mentioned to me and Taehyun - and you’re still _not_ dating?! When you finally realized you like each other?!?”

  
  


“That’s how _I_ feel, Yeonjun hyung has never given any indication that he had feelings for me in more than a _platonic_ sense. I mean, we’ve just been friends all along, maybe I’ve just been imagining things.” Soobin swallowed roughly, clenching his jaw as he glared at Kai who was most likely guilty for letting the party kiss slip, “Those kisses, well, one of them was for the booth, one is due to being drunk and the other was forced by me. Those kisses meant nothing. It doesn’t mean Yeonjun hyung likes me back...” 

  
  


He’d thought things would change after talking with Yeonjun, but his hyung had decided to think things through. He didn’t want things to be awkward and hesitant between them again. He couldn’t even bear the things that just happened - not seeing Yeonjun, not hearing from Yeonjun and seeing how Yeonjun ran away from him - and at that point, Soobin was too scared of feeling rejected _again_ to outright confess his feelings to Yeonjun.

  
  


“Oh, my sweet, dumb, Soobin,” Beomgyu sighed.

  
  


“Hey, I am older than you,” Soobin replied flatly.

  
  


“That’s not important. Take it from someone who has known you since you were toddler sized and someone who knew Yeonjun hyung since dance club –” Beomgyu waved his off. “ _That hyung_ is and has been and will forever be head over heels _for you_ . It’s disgusting how he’s been pining for you. And you being dumb and oblivious to all of it. Practically _BLIND_. All caps and empasis. I can barely stand to look at both of you.”

  
  


“Then close your eyes,” Soobin snapped, rolling his eyes, trying to not give into the hope that had sprung up at Beomgyu’s words. “You don’t know anything, alright? You’ve been teasing me about my crush on Kai and now on Hyung! I _tried,_ Gyu. I talked to him, even kissed him! But he pushed me away and looked so _distressed_ about it. And what if you’re wrong?! What if hyung says he treats me like a special dongsaeng just like how I thought I liked Kai?! What if he stays away from me afterwards?!”

Beomgyu wanted to shake Soobin’s head but was speechless in the face of Soobin’s sudden desparate range, struck dumb for Soobin’s outburst which they’ve only witnessed for perhaps the first time in their life. 

“I was going to apologize and take things slowly, you know? I have it all planned. And then stuff happened and hyung started avoiding me! I just couldn’t see him everywhere and I scanned probably the whole campus for him,” Soobin growled, hating the thought. “You didn’t see him, Beomgyu. Yeonjun hyung was _always_ hiding – as soon as my shadow appeared, he started running. And I would admit that I'm a coward. I’m scared. The past few weeks had been _hell_ . I was _longing_ for him, just to be with him… and if that happens again...”

  
  


“But what about you?” Beomgyu asked gently. “What you had with Yeonjun hyung at the party –”

  
  


“That wasn’t a mistake,” Soobin interrupted. “Kissing him at the party when alcohol had been involved was impulsive and rash, but everything I had with him after that... I wouldn’t even call having kissed him that night a mistake. I don’t regret it… even if he probably did…”

  
  


Taehyun hesitated to break the silence. 

  
  


“We weren't going to say it was or that you did,” he said, gently as he’d always been. “You and Yeonjun hyung were really good together. If you hadn’t been, you would’ve heard it from us. But you’re _not_ a couple yet, that’s the _problem_. That’s the _thing_ we wanted to point out. We want you to _try_. It’s long overdue, the term is about to end soon and you _shouldn’t_ give up.” 

  
  


“Hyung, you’re the most stubborn person I know; since when do you give up so easily?” Hueningkai added, “You fought with your parents to get to med school. You rarely listen to my advice and you don’t even believe yourself when it’s _practically obvious_ that you like Yeonjun hyung. If you like Yeonjun hyung, fight to be with him. You’ll never know unless you try?”

  
  


“How?” Soobin looked lost – like he wanted to believe them, but was too scared to try. “How can I show my feelings? How can I subtly tell hyung I like him?”

  
  


“Well, there’s the tried and true, be his beck and call.” Taehyun suggested. When Soobin hesitated, he continued. “Come on. What better way to show Yeonjun hyung you care other than always being there for him?”

“You can’t just say that and expect everything to go smoothly,” Soobin protested.

“Trust us.” Beomgyu rubbed his hands together like an evil mastermind. “Now, if I’m not mistaken, we’ve got a lot of upcoming dates to plan.”

“Do _not_ call it that.” Soobin whined, lying down on his couch in embarrassment.

“Call what?”

“Don’t call it dates.”

All three groaned in frustration. 

“You’re a dumbass” Beomgyu glared.

“Since when did I lose all of your respect?”

“Since you’ve been a dumbass.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, before adding, “Oh and this didn’t just happen once. It’s been…” trying to count on his fingers, “See? I can’t even count. In short, I have no respect left for you whatsoever.”

  
  


“When will you stop?” Soobin sighed, tired of Beomgyu’s blabbering.

“Calling you a dumbass? When you stop being a dumbass.”

“Can someone just shut Beomgyu up? I can’t even think!”

All his younger friends laughed at his misery. And of course Taehyun wouldn’t miss such an opportunity, “That’s because you’re a dumbass, hyung.”

  
  


* * *

**_To: Yeonjun hyung_ **

_Good morning, hyung :)) plan on going to the library today??_

  
  


Soobin sighed before hitting send. His friends were right, he should be putting more effort into this. Deep down, there’s a part of him that’s brave enough to acknowledge that doing something with Yeonjun had always felt good. Being with his hyung, even just by something as small as joining him in the library, made his heart race with something Soobin didn’t want to place. He recalled feeling the same when all he had done was visit Yeonjun during dance practice and handing him a drink, sometimes hauling chips and ramen in the convenience store.

_Wait._

Didn’t he and Yeonjun planned on eating together? Soobin desperately tried to remember if he asked Yeonjun and hoped his hyung remembered. That one time where he called Yeonjun after their dance performance. 

**_To: Yeonjun hyung_ **

_Still up for some meat?_

  
  


Soobin decided to try and play it off cool.

**_To: Yeonjun hyung_ **

_I hope you haven’t forgotten that I still owe you some dinner._

_Are you busy?_

There was radio silence on Yeonjun’s end for a good ten minutes, and Soobin was starting to get nervous that maybe that had been the wrong text to send when his phone rang _. “Hello?”_ he picked up immediately.

“ _Okay, so here’s the thing... I’m still probably having the most embarrassing moment of my life since our talk and I just couldn't face you right now..._ ” Yeonjun sounded nervous. He rarely sounded nervous. Yeonjun was suave and always able to have that aura of confidence in his voice. But right now, he sounded vulnerable and Soobin just wanted to hug him. “ _But it appears that you are offering me things that I may be or not be very weak for... Which is exactly two very important things. One, my love for food had always been obvious. And two… I’ve always been weak for..._ ”

  
  


Soobin gulped, waiting for what Yeonjun was gonna say, “For what?”

  
  


_Silence_

  
  


_“I’ve always been weak for free food.”_

  
  


They both let out a laugh. Only Yeonjun could make him nervous and laugh stupidly this way. Soobin wasn’t expecting that the answer _was him, no_. That’s just ridiculous. 

  
  


“Hyung! That’s the same thing!”

  
  


“ _No there’s literally a huge difference with food and FREE food! Free food makes you happier since you don’t have to pay for it!_ ”

Soobin smiled as Yeonjun continued to tell him the difference between food and free food. 

_“So when do you want to go?”_

  
  


* * *

They decided to meet again two days later. There wasn't much change. He still felt a bit awkward but better something than nothing.

_It’s not a date._ Soobin tried to remind himself, walking into the streets of Seoul. It’s Beomgyu’s fault for saying that anyway. He didn’t want to hope for absolutely nothing.

He waited a couple blocks off their campus where there’s a wide alley with a night market, korean barbeque and some ramen bar. Soobin thought it’s a bit too crowded for a Tuesday evening, familiar faces were seen on the streets, mostly university students.

He was wearing his favorite white puffy jacket that Taehyun said looked great on him, his scarf, as well as the ugly blue beanie with a ridiculously huge pom-pom on it, a gift from Beomgyu. He’d wear something else but Soobin is dumb enough to not check if he has any other clean beanies to wear and took it. Better than freezing his ears cold - Soobin has always been weak whenever cold weather comes around and would rather wear an ugly beanie than get sick. 

He waited by a nearby lamp post so that Yeonjun could easily see him. _And no, he didn’t arrive 30 minutes earlier than expected just because he wanted to see Yeonjun badly._ He was thinking of the things that he should say, topics he should open just to make sure that there won’t be any awkward moments. _He just wanted Yeonjun back in his life_. 

As if on cue, someone suddenly tapped his shoulder. Soobin jumped and lifted his head to see the person who disturbed his inner thoughts. Yeonjun was already looking at him, tipping on his toes, with one hand trying to flick the pom-pom on Soobin’s beanie. Yeonjun smiled, soft in a way that makes Soobin’s stupid heart beat faster, and exchanged a few greetings.

They walked silently to the restaurant. Soobin’s eyes did not leave Yeonjun for a second, as if scared that his hyung would be gone once he looked away. Even if it’s crowded and the streets are narrow, even when there’s a lot of people bumping into him, Soobin’s attention has only been on Yeonjun. 

Luckily, even on a packed Tuesday, they managed to find a decent seat. Yeonjun made grabby hands for the meat. Soobin obliged and gave out one of the plates, also handing a pair of tongs before placing it in front of Yeonjun with a napkin and pair of chopsticks already neatly broken in two before they started cooking.

Soobin did his best to put up conversation after conversation; from his hyung’s dance club to how his studies were, to how things were when they were not together. Apparently, he missed a bunch of things in Yeonjun’s life and he listened to everything Yeonjun shared - even if knowing that he wasn’t there in those moments left a sour taste on Soobin’s mouth. 

After a couple of minutes, they were both finally munching on the savory goodness. Soobin took the liberty of giving Yeonjun everything.

Yeonjun muttered a quick thanks, picking up his chopsticks and clapping his hands together before he’s happily munching on some of the meat. Most people would probably wait a few more minutes for the meat to cool down, but Yeonjun preferred to just eat it on the spot, even if it means burning his tongue. 

Yeonjun wasn’t the most graceful eater (nor does Soobin gave a flying fuck about it), which meant that by the time Yeonjun’s halfway through eating his meat, his mouth would then be stained by the sauce or some kimchi paste. Soobin badly wanted to wipe it for him, but he also found it endearing. 

So when Yeonjun looked up to reach for a napkin, he found Soobin already staring at him, head propped up by one hand, elbow leaning against the table. Soobin wondered whether or not it’s obvious that he’s smiling, _whipped beyond measure_ , yet he couldn’t even feel embarrassed about it. Especially now when he saw the blush that covered Yeonjun’s pretty cheeks.

“Is there still something on my mouth?,” his hyung said, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin.

“Nothing, hyung” Soobin was full-out grinning now, uninhibited and soft. _Fuck Yeonjun was adorable._ “I was just thinking that you look cute when you eat. Dumb, but cute.”

Yeonjun blinked, as if letting the words register and he felt his face rapidly heat in embarrassment. The thing is, Soobin rarely says things like this, and he should already be regretting it. But no, having Yeonjun blush was such an adorable sight.

Yeonjun coughed, attempting to hide how flustered he was, and scowled at Soobin. “Why are you saying things like this?”

Soobin laughed in response. “I’m just being honest,” he said, a smile still lingering on his lips.

Yeonjun huffed and tried to get his face to cool down, by fanning himself.

“Whatever,” he said, “Why is it so hot here, anyway?”, trying to change the subject. Again, Yeonjun’s excuse was too cute that had Soobin giggling.

“Oh, How are you and Kai, anyway?” Yeonjun asked and Soobin suppressed the urge to scowl. Hueningkai had been a little piece of _shit_ to him these past few days. He’s so fucking annoying and kept on reminding him of being oblivious and how he thought he’s in love with him, most days. So he voiced this out and somehow Yeonjun found this entertaining, Soobin would be pissed if not for the smiles and laughter that Yeonjun let out that just kept on making his heart warm.

“Wow,” Yeonjun glanced at their table, meat now gone replaced by dirty utensils, gasping a bit, “I can’t believe we just ate all of that,” yet he looked at Soobin guiltlessly. 

“Uh,” Soobin said, scanning his wallet, making sure he brought enough money “It’s fine, I got this.”

“No! You can’t just pay for all of that!,” Yeonjun broke out into his signature pout. He stood up, reaching down and grabbing Soobin’s wrist, tugging him to his feet. “Come on, let’s just split the bill! I ate most of it anyways and it would still be considered a treat–”

Soobin barely heard anything that Yeonjun said, as he was swiftly ushered away, still blinking at their attached hands. Soobin stared at the side of Yeonjun’s face as he continued talking animatedly, and let himself get pulled along.

* * *

They talked a lot as they walked away from the night market - Soobin did make sure that every second was worth it. At some point they found themselves in a tiny park with a playground. 

“This is quite a view, huh?” Soobin said, his voice startling Yeonjun.

When he looked over his shoulder, Yeonjun was staring up in the sky, walking backwards, towards the swings.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun replied, turning back to look at where he was gonna sit, then back towards the little flickers of light in the darkness. “Yeah, it is.”

After a brief moment of hesitation, Soobin came to sit next to him on the swing set, pushing the seats back and forth slowly. Soobin tried to think why talking to Yeonjun had always seemed so easy yet it’s as if there’s some unseen wall that’s keeping them apart. There’s so much to talk about yet at the same time, there are things they seemingly just never talked about. They still haven’t talked about any of their kisses, the one in the booth, when they spent half the night sleeping together in Soobin’s floor at his dorm, or when the one at the party, or when Yeonjun’s face was buried in the crook of Soobin’s neck, on their way home.

They never bothered with it. _Their feelings and other things that might lead to that_. And somehow, Soobin was bothered with that. ‘ _The Fight_ ’ was the closest they’ve come to acknowledging this thing between them, but Soobin knew that a lot has changed since then, and he has no idea where they’re standing now. 

It doesn’t feel like he can just ask, either, because they’re in the middle of rekindling their friendship, and the way Soobin’s stomach felt like he just took a dive every time he thinks about Yeonjun was not the most important thing. It didn’t even come close.

_And yet_.

He wished he could just reach out and touch Yeonjun’s freezing hands where they’re resting on his knees, his fingers clasped together. He wished he could tell Yeonjun that he knows he’s just pretending to be okay, and that he doesn’t need to pretend around Soobin, that Soobin might not understand what Yeonjun has been through, but he would be willing to be there to make sure he’s okay. That Yeonjun’s fine. That he’s happy.

He didn’t do any of that; instead, he sat right there, to the swing right next to Yeonjun, trying his best to bring back what once was theirs.

Then it’s already midnight. Yeonjun had received a lot of messages from his roommate yelling at him to get home and so, Soobin insisted - fought- on walking him back. He noticed that Yeonjun was already shivering, the tip of his nose red from the cold. Even if he looked even cuter than before, Soobin just couldn’t let him get sick, and so for someone who’s sensitive enough — and for someone who’s all wrapped up cozy — Soobin gave his pair of gloves to his hyung. His hands rarely get cold and his coat could help him for that. 

Soobin felt too warm, slipping his gloves on Yeonjun’s hands, feeling his hyung’s skin against his. Especially with how close their faces were and how Yeonjun kept staring at his face.

_It’s too much._

When they reached Yeonjun’s building, Soobin felt a bit sad that the night was about to end. His scarf pulled up to cover his mouth, covering his frown. Once in front of the building, Soobin was waiting for Yeonjun’s goodbye.

“Thanks,” Yeonjun said instead, as they linger outside the entrance to the building.

Soobin glanced at him, head tilting to the side. “For what?”

“I dunno. Hanging out with me, I guess. It’s cool talking to you again… and taking some time to be with me…yeah. _Just_. Thanks.” 

Soobin doesn’t understand why he’s thanking him, especially if _he’s_ the one who’s supposed to be thankful for Yeonjun - thankful for giving Soobin another chance to make things right. He didn’t know what to make of that so he just said, “Yeah, no problem, hyung. Anytime.” Then hesitated to add, “You, uh, you have my number, so… you can ask me out anytime.”

_Ask me out anytime… fuck where is this confidence coming from?_

Luckily, Yeonjun just smiled and punched him lightly on the shoulder. He made a fake-hurt noise and staggered backward, pretending like he'd been mortally wounded, to tease him.

_Then there was a moment._

A moment where Soobin should say goodbye with Yeonjun replying and they should part ways.

Instead, Soobin just went still. They were just standing there, eyes meeting each other waiting for the other to leave. _But they just can’t_. He just stared back, eyes glazing over Yeonjun’s face and then slowly lingering on his hyung’s lips. There’s this thing that urges Soobin to just kiss him, wrap him in his arms and never let go. He knew he had to snap out of it.

Yeonjun was the one to break the moment and just said, “Have a good night, Binnie,” and then he left, just like that, not turning back. Soobin hated the scene.

_Be brave._ That’s what he kept telling himself. 

But no. Soobin wasn’t going to go there. He couldn’t just kiss Yeonjun goodbye or talk about his feelings even if he wanted to. Yeonjun wasn’t interested in him that way anyways, at least that’s what he told himself. If it was true, Soobin must’ve missed his chance long ago, and even if his feelings hadn’t changed, Yeonjun’s must’ve definitely had. They were _just friends_ and Soobin was going to have to be happy with just that.

_And as much as he wished it was possible, Yeonjun wasn’t dating Soobin._

* * *

For sometime, Soobin knew that Yeonjun came back changed, their relationship somehow changed, there are little things that he would notice; how Yeonjun hesitated in his movements, how he sat a bit further from him, how he chose not to sit beside him, the little things that left a pang of hurt in Soobin’s chest, and it’s not his place to demand anything of him — it has never been his place to demand anything of him, and yet Yeonjun still gave so much willingly. He noticed how busy Yeonjun was, he always is but this time it seems as if he was busier. His replies were late, he comes home late and rarely even eats his lunch. Yet even if Soobin had been complete shit to him, Yeonjun still indulged him.

So Soobin, if he’s being completely honest, thinks that maybe he was worrying a little more about Yeonjun, who’s been shouldering a lot of burden and problems alone. He’s not sure the others would really understand, despite being Yeonjun’s friends, even Jihoon hyung himself had a hard time opening Yeonjun’s shell, trying to ask him about his worries - at least that’s what the senior told him. A lot of people idolize Yeonjun as much as some of the other dancers and seniors in the university, and that sometimes clouds their judgment, adding this hidden pressure of being perfect.

Soobin didn’t know how he could tell, but even after all that happened, in the end he’s still Yeonjun. He might have come back changed, but deep down, he’s still the Choi Yeonjun that Soobin knows. Yeonjun who worked a bit too hard, who did everything he could just to please everyone, and Yeonjun who still had a lot of insecurities about himself. And Soobin, just like what Taehyun had suggested, would be on his beck and call if needed.

* * *

 ** _To: Yeonjun hyung_ **

_Cafeteria at 10?_

_I…have free time and am really hungry_

_I know you haven’t had brunch yet._

_Don’t lie_

**_Yeonjun hyung_ **

_dumbass_

_how did u know?_

**_To: Yeonjun hyung_ **

_;) See you!_

* * *

“Meeting Yeonjun hyung?” Taehyun asked, before Soobin even stood or gave out any indication that he’s leaving.

“Yup, brunch with hyung,” he said in lieu of an answer, checking to make sure he got all of his things as he packed his bag, “Want anything from the cafeteria?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks,” Taehyun said, giving out his all-too-knowing grin, “Have fun, hyung.”

“Mmh,” Soobin made a vague sound of affirmation, Taehyun could think whatever he wanted to. He grabbed his phone, texting off a quick “omw. I’ll wait for u” to Yeonjun as he leaves.

By the time he got to the cafeteria, Yeonjun was already there, scrolling through his phone and absentmindedly eating from a bowl of what must be another ramen in front of him. As soon as Soobin arrived, Yeonjun perked up and greeted him.

“Hey, hyung,” he plopped down on the seat across from Yeonjun, “Hurry up and finish your noodles, I want to get some McDonalds.”

Yeonjun gave him an annoyed expression. “Wow and I thought _I_ was eating unhealthy. Why didn’t you tell me? I should’ve waited there instead of eating cheap ass cafeteria ramen,” he said, slurping the rest of his noodles, “And since when do you even eat McDonalds?”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I thought you’d be in the studios and I wanted to walk with you outside of campus. Didn’t know you’d be too hungry not to bother waiting for me.” Soobin rolled his eyes teasingly, leaning back in his chair as Yeonjun ducked his head to resume eating. “Sometimes, I crave for some fast food, too, you know?” 

Soobin checked his phone, refreshing their group chats and texted Beomgyu to make plans for a movie marathon later, like their usual weekend plans. He quickly made a mental note to invite Yeonjun later. Afterwards, he chose to set his phone down and observe Yeonjun closely instead as he gobbled his ramen, which proved to be infinitely more amusing than his phone screen.

For example, at one point Yeonjun painstakingly used his chopsticks to pick up a single strand of noodle, a look of intense focus on his face and brow furrowed in concentration. When he succeeded, his lips curled into a soft happy smile, like it was some huge victory. It’s all annoyingly endearing and cute, he’d probably never get tired of watching him eat.

As if sensing his tactless staring, Yeonjun looked up at Soobin with his mouth still full of noodles. His cheeks are slightly bulged out, like a chipmunk, and he licked a stray drop of sauce - or is it broth? - from the corner of his lips after he swallowed.

“Binnie?” He said, lips just a bit shiny from the ramen broth.

“Huh?” Soobin asked innocently, as if Yeonjun didn’t just catch him staring.

“You’re staring, again,” Yeonjun pointed out, sounding warm and amused instead of creeped out like he probably should, considering how much time Soobin had just spent looking at his mouth.

“Just wondering how exactly you managed to just slurp all that noodles,” Soobin huffed and hoped that he wasn’t blushing, “Plus, I’m very hungry now, watching you eat.”

“Ah,” Yeonjun said, wincing, “I’m sorry, I’ll eat quickly and we can head to McDonalds now.”

“Go take your time, ignore my rambling stomach,” Soobin said with a snort and pestered Yeonjun to drink all the broth in one go, steadfastly ignoring all thoughts of whether or not he would taste like ramen if Soobin were to kiss him right now. 

* * *

Most days, Soobin found himself alone with Yeonjun. In all honesty, Soobin preferred it that way - especially now that his other younger friends are too keen into pressuring Soobin to confess and fix his love life. He always enjoyed being around his hyung, but times like this, times when Yeonjun voluntarily sticks to him, any moment of physical touches, were the moments that Soobin loved the most.

Taehyun was right about his ‘always be there for hyung’ plan and slowly but surely, Yeonjun has once again been comfortable around Soobin’s presence. No more awkward distances, the feeling of tension, or the rare flinches whenever their skin touched. Yeonjun started leaning on his shoulders again, clinging onto his arm when he felt like Soobin was walking too fast, jokingly asking for piggyback rides when he got tired, and Soobin was all too happy to indulge him.

Soobin would admit that he too, was getting bolder with his advances. Sometimes he’d just grab Yeonjun’s hand when he felt like it, place his arms around him subtly during movie nights, or even offer to massage his back after his dance practice. He would openly flirt with his hyung too and enjoyed how flustered Yeonjun would look afterwards.

But Soobin also had his limits, there are times that he too would get absolutely flustered that he’d hear his own heart beating through his ears. Just like how Yeonjun scooted closer to his thigh, fast asleep.

They were just resting by Soobin’s couch. Not really in the mood to go out nor they’re ready to face the cold winds. And somehow, in the middle of their jamming session, Yeonjun fell asleep. 

On Soobin’s thigh.

Facing his abdomen.

Yeonjun’s face almost _too close_ to his private area.

And Soobin could feel himself blushing.

No, he _definitely_ knows he’s blushing.

Yeonjun scooted up even further so his head was right on Soobin’s thigh. 

_God, help him._

He’s not really sure how or when it happened. All he knew was one moment he was lying there near Soobin’s thigh, listening to his playlist, and the next moment Yeonjun was cuddling his stomach. 

“Oh my god,” someone cooed. 

Of course.

_Of. Fucking. Course._

Now was just _the right time_ for this couple to come and visit him.

“Oh my god, Tyun, get your phone. This is so cute.” Beomgyu whispered-squealed. The excitement on Beomgyu’s face wasn’t even really subtle, finding another opportunity to tease Soobin to no end.

“Shut up, Gyu,” Soobin hissed, “Shut up, don’t you dare—”

“They’re cuddling!”

“We are not cuddling! Shut up!”

And of course, his boyfriend would indulge into the teasing as well. Soobin decided that he’s gonna throw all of his dongsaengs in exchange of Yeonjun.

“For the love of god, shut up,” Soobin warned. “Don’t fucking wake him up, you little shits.”

Beomgyu snorted. “How vile, Soobin hyung. Never heard you cuss so much. Oh and by the way, his face is like, in your dick.”

“It is not!” Soobin whisper-yelled. He knew that! But having someone point it out is another type of embarrassment. He’s _sure_ . _So fucking sure_ that Beomgyu wouldn’t let Soobin live this down. “He’s the one who—he turned sideways, I don’t know, he just sort of—like, nuzzled—”

“He nuzzled his face into your dick?”

“It’s my stomach, and shut up.”

Soobin didn’t know how long he'd been arguing with the couple. But thankfully, after a couple minutes of teasing and making sure Soobin was as red as Rudolf’s nose, they both decided to just leave. 

Once the room was silent, He once again stared at Yeonjun’s peaceful face. How angelic he looked as he slept. Then he noticed a crease on his hyung’s forehead.

‘ _You should pet his hair_ ,’ Beomgyu told him before leaving, “ _He loves it when we pet his hair_.”

Carefully he touched Yeonjun’s forehead, like it would magically remove the frown on Yeonjun’s eyebrows. His fingertips, slowly, hesitantly, slid into Yeonjun’s hair and began to run his fingers through his hair.

He made sure it’s gentle, not wanting to wake him up. Wanting to make sure Yeonjun slept well. Not knowing exactly what ‘pet’ means, Soobin decided to scratch above Yeonjun’s ear a little — like he’s petting a cat or a dog, which, sure — it made Yeonjun sigh and nudge up into his hand, arm tightened around Soobin’s waist. Yeonjun nuzzled closer to his stomach which made Soobin’s heart beat louder than before - which he didn't know was possible. He looked at Yeonjun’s sleeping face - all squished but still pretty - and imagined what it would feel like having to wake up to this scene every morning. 

_He’s so whipped why didn’t he realize this sooner?_

He once again began to run his fingers through Yeonjun’s hair, slow and tentative and still kind of careful, enjoying Yeonjun’s warmth and presence. Soobin hoped that once he confessed, Yeonjun would still be this comfortable around him.

By the time Yeonjun woke up, Soobin was already out of the couch ordering pizza for their dinner.

“Oh, hyung, you’re awake, you fell asleep for quite a few hours, and I just let you ‘cause you look tired.” Yeonjun looked startled to see Soobin already staring at him, placing down a glass of water on the table before making his way towards the sink. “You should drink some water,” he said, thrusting the glass on his hyung’s hands.

“Right,” Yeonjun blinked, “Thanks.”

Yeonjun drank the whole glass of water in one long gulp.

Soobin sat down on the other side of the couch, leaning back on one hand, “Did you at least get a good sleep?”

“Hm,” Yeonjun groans thoughtfully until he had a sudden realization.

"Oh my fucking God,” he sat up abruptly; Soobin also perplexed with the sudden exclamation as he stared at Yeonjun looking mortified. 

“Did I really...” he started, and swallows heavily. “Cuddled up to you like a–”

“Like a small kitten?” Finally realizing what Yeonjun was panicking about, “Yeah you did, It was really cute.”

“Cute?” Yeonjun repeated, incredulous.

“Yeah,” Soobin replied easily, “I didn’t know you liked being petted. You even nuzzled up to me like a kitten, it was adorable.”

Yeonjun choked, heat crawling up his neck as more of what just happened came to him. He didn’t get why Yeonjun was so flustered, Soobin was expecting that _he_ would be the one who’s blushing right now. He watched as blood crept up and a cute blush adorned his hyung’s face. Soobin couldn’t help but voice this out..

“You really are so cute.” He said, completely disregarding Yeonjun’s embarrassment.

“Shut up,” Yeonjun replied on autopilot, his face still red. 

Soobin decided that needs to stop this before Yeonjun got the chance to tease back; just because Soobin has been a shameless flirt doesn’t mean that Yeonjun likes it, or anything like that. So he let Yeonjun stretch languidly and left their conversation hanging.

“Can I use your bathroom?” Yeonjun asked.

“Sure, you know where it is” but Soobin still gestured the way on the other side of his bedroom, eyes weren’t quite focused as he stared at Yeonjun when he’s done stretching.

“Right,” Yeonjun said, tugging down on his shirt where it’s slightly ridden up. “Thanks for letting me sleep here,” he said as he turned, Soobin’s eyes still trailing after him.

_Soobin was so fucked._

* * *

To say his and Yeonjun’s relationship went back to how it was wasn’t necessarily right. Sure, they see each other daily again, texted daily again, and they’re comfortable in each other’s presence. But there are days where Soobin’s hope of Yeonjun liking him back ignited. Especially when Soobin blurts out what he really felt or when his brain-to-mouth filter just decided to stop working.

Like that one time, he asked for Yeonjun’s spare keys to his dorm. His pathetic reasoning of ‘just in case you needed something in your dorm and couldn’t get it. You can text me and I’ll get it for you’ was such a bullshit excuse. He wasn’t expecting for Yeonjun to actually give him a spare. Even Jihoon sunbae teased him for it when they met by the hallways - something about Yeonjun asking permission of giving Soobin a spare key along with the lines of ‘as long as you don’t fuck on my bed then I’m cool’ added. Now the whole medical building knew that Yeonjun gave him their room keys.

However, this appeared to be handy, especially since that one time Yeonjun got sick. Being a stubborn human being, Soobin knew how to placate his hyung. Did his best to take care of him and made sure he wouldn’t abuse his body like he always did. 

And Yeonjun, like the best hyung that he is, just lets Soobin do whatever he wants.

One time during their usual movie night, Yeonjun had chosen an English movie, some cliche story with an unpopular girl who falls for a seemingly bad popular guy, just to find out the popular guy isn’t as bad as everyone thinks. Soobin didn’t expect Yeonjun to be a chick flick person but with the way he and Beomgyu insisted on this particular movie, just showed that he loved them.

Soobin has never been one for movies. He somehow manages to get distracted minutes into it every time, especially when someone who he truly loved and adored was sitting just a few feet away from him, most of his thighs on show given how short the shorts he’s currently wearing were.

He shouldn’t be overbeared with thoughts about how much he’d like to kiss Yeonjun when the first kiss scene happened, hold him in his lap just like the couple on screen, take him on dates that definitely wouldn’t be as fancy as the restaurant the popular guy had taken his lover, because Soobin is still broke college student after all, but he would always try his hardest to please Yeonjun. Hold his hand just like them, only he’s sure Yeonjun’s hands were softer than either of them put together.

With one overwhelmed glance at Yeonjun when a particularly cringy scene comes on, seeing him watch closely with wide eyes and his bottom lip sucked into his mouth endearingly, Soobin picked up his phone and impulsively texted Beomgyu, asking - _begging_ him - well he and Taehyun - to leave him and Yeonjun alone, which they gladly did.

It was a half an hour into the movie that Yeonjun finally noticed the absence of the other two. 

"Hey, Binnie?" 

He turned to look at him, "Yeah?"

“Nothing… I just thought Beomgyu and Taehyun were taking a bit too long… and it’s getting late… do you think they’ll still go back?”

"Y'know, you could just… stay here," Soobin blurted out of nowhere, and when Yeonjun doesn't respond immediately, he panicked, "I mean- If you want, since you're already here an-and it’s really late and I don’t think Taehyun and Beomgyu would come back. Even if they would, I still think you should stay here.”

He sounded so stupid! Soobin felt like dying in the moment. They were all cozy and comfy and he just had to ruin the moment like that. To think that Yeonjun—

“Okay,” Yeonjun said.

"You —" Soobin blinked. "—Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I mean it’s late and you offered… it isn’t the first time…”

It really wasn’t, in fact it was the third time. Once, when Jihoon kicked him out, the second when he was drunk.

"Okay," Soobin looked a bit startled, not anticipating this outcome. Yeonjun shimmied himself under the sheets, and scooted closer to his body. 

Soobin still felt dumbfounded by the course of events and tried his best to play it cool, "Cool. So just, uh… y'know, make yourself comfortable."

Yeonjun continued on watching but somehow, the situation still felt uncomfortable, Yeonjun looked so tense in his seat as if not knowing what to do. _Be brave_. Soobin told himself once again, and so he wrapped both of his arms completely around him, tucking Yeonjun’s head under his. Soobin unconsciously nuzzled his face onto Yeonjun’s hair.

But then Yeonjun lowered himself onto the blanket wrapped around them, slipped half of his face under it, and stayed still. Soobin then burst out laughing. Yeonjun literally stopped breathing and looked way too cute fidgeting in front of him.

"What?" Yeonjun demanded staring back at the younger. “Why are you laughing?!”

"Hyung, I said make yourself comfortable, not play dead," he chortled, prodding a playful finger into Yeonjun’s waist. "Seriously — could you be more stiff right now?"

"I'm just— trying to be comfortable," Yeonjun defended, twisting to avoid Soobin’s jabs and, not-so-coincidentally, hid his flushed face. "What'd you expect me to do?"

"I dunno," Soobin shrugged. "Maybe — I mean, you could just…"

And then he’s reaching towards him again which was strangely comfortable and familiar. He gripped Yeonjun’s waist, hands warm against his sides, while he hauled his hyung onto his lap - somehow back hugging him. A small whine somehow escaped Yeonjun’s mouth when he actually realized that he’s straddling Soobin, legs on either side of his thigh and ass sat on top of his cro— no, he’s not going there right now – he’s trying to make Yeonjun comfortable, _not bothered_. They were silent for a moment, while Yeonjun’s hands came up to rest on Soobin’s hands — no, Soobin was absolutely feeling fine. It’s not like he wanted to kiss Yeonjun’s fluffy cheek right now.

Instead, he rested his chin on Yeonjun's shoulder, their faces touching, "This is kinda nice… right?"

Yeonjun hummed in reply, leaning against Soobin as they continued on with their night.

He supposed it’s okay to say it now. _Soobin really likes Yeonjun_. He likes him so much it hurts. Soobin knew he would mess up one of these days. One day, it would be obvious to even Yeojun that the way he felt for him ran much deeper than simple friendship. And when that day came, it would ruin everything: the friendship they shared, and whatever strangely domestic situation they had now. And he wanted, so much, to live out this fantasy for as long as he could, but that was unfair to Yeonjun, and he knew it. Soobin was taking advantage of him, because Yeonjun surely wouldn’t want to spend his days casually cuddling a boy who was in love with him.

* * *

In the next couple of days, a few things happen all at once:

They were at the café, he, Beomgyu and Kai with Taehyun joining them after a couple of minutes. It was the usual banter of ‘ _why don’t you just confess to him, hyung_ ’. That just had Soobin moping, “I tried so hard to make him see me that way. I flirted with him, I cuddled with him, I made him feel beautiful every chance I got. I thought we were getting somewhere.”

“Holy shit, hyung, just confess to him already that’s the only way!,” Beomgyu groaned, far too loudly considering how they’re in a public space.

“Shut up,” Soobin hissed immediately and looked around the café to make sure that nobody was within hearing distance. When he’s confident that his secret was safe, he slouched back in his chair and took a long sip from his mocha. “It’s not that fucking easy.”

“It’s not that easy if you don’t know whether or not the other person likes you back,” Hueningkai piped up, “But Yeonjun hyung _clearly_ does, so what the hell are you so worried about?”

“How do you know that for sure, though,” Soobin muttered petulantly, and ignored Hyuka’s epic eye roll.

“Oh please,” Beomgyu tutted, “That hyung literally only has two expressions when he looks at you. The first says ‘oh my god Binnie you’re so right in everything! You’re so precious let me hug you,’ literally an ‘uwu’ face while the second is more like ‘damn, I want to bite his lips and exchange saliva with him’”

Soobin ducked his head in order to hide his embarrassment. He normally wasn’t this easily flustered and would usually clap back especially to Beomgyu, but Yeonjun seemed to be the exception to a lot of his inner turmoils. “Shut the fuck up.” He just muttered again, moodily.

Hueningkai, the little twerp, just continued as if Soobin hadn't spoken at all. “That is uncannily and disturbingly accurate,” he agreed.

“Hyung,” Hueningkai said, after they’re all done snickering like assholes. His voice was always caring and earnest in the way that always made Soobin want to punch and hug him at the same time. He didn’t shake it off, though, when his dongsaeng placed his hand on his shoulder. “I never thought I would see you like this, and honestly at first it was hilarious, but this has gone on for too long. You’re my best friend, hyung, I just wanna see you be happy. I would never intentionally lead you astray, and I’m telling you right now that you should go for it. And– not that he will, but if Yeonjun hyung rejects you, I’ll–” He trailed off abruptly. He clearly wanted to say something along the lines of ‘I’ll kill him’ or ‘I’ll beat him up,’ but Kai was far too nice.

“Ban him from touching your plushies?” Beomgyu suggested after a moment.

“Yes!” Hueningkai brightened, before his face turned serious again as he met Soobin’s eyes. “Anyway, this is for your own good, and Yeonjun hyung’s good, and all of our good. Just remember, you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take!”

Soobin was amazed.

That was a nice speech, he’ll admit it, but, “God, that was such a fucking corny ending,” he snorted, even as a warmth grows in his stomach and spreads all the way up to his heart. He belatedly realizes that it must be affection.

Soobin sighed. "I want this to happen in private..." He finished off his mocha with one last gulp, eyes glistening with a newfound purpose. “So how does confessing in my dorm sound?”

“Yes, hyung!,” Hyuka whooped. “That’s the spirit!”

“Okay, let’s plan this thing. This would be called ‘Soobin confessing to Yeonjun hyung’ and ‘Yeonbin Dating Plans part two’.” Beomgyu said, grabbing a notepad out of his bag, and started babbling on what ways they should arrange and set his room for a romantic ambiance. Both Beomgyu and Hyuka decided on suprising Yeonjun hyung that would could lead him running to Soobin's place.

The bell on the café’s door chimes loudly, signalling Taehyun’s arrival and he too was joining the other two in planning Soobin’s future demise. 

_God, he’s really fucking doing this._

* * *

“Guys, if you’re not out here in ten minutes, we’re going to be late on our planned schedule!” Beomgyu’s muffled words made their way through Soobin’s bedroom door. 

“Just a second!” Hueningkai shouted in reply. “Hyung, are you ready?”

“Yeah, yeah I will be in just a – there we go. I’m ready.” Soobin stepped out of the bathroom.

Hueningkai just stared, visibly gulping, “Wow,” he murmured. “You look great, hyung.”

Soobin glanced down, smoothing his polo in embarrassment and checking that his outfit hadn’t wrinkled. “Do I really?,” he managed, trying not to sound like an idiot. “C’mon, you know you can tell me if I looked stupid.”

Hyuka grinned. “Oh, you want me to tease you instead?”

Soobin nodded. “I’m just nervous,” he admitted. “I’ve dreamed about asking you out, you know. But now that I’m actually confessing - and it’s not to you, - and it’s something _actually really serious_ , - just makes me really _really_ nervous I guess.”

“In my dreams you always turned me down because you could do so much better.”

Soobin let out a fake scoff, “Well it’s your subconscious. In reality it’s you who turned me down.”

“Hey.” Hueningkai pulled him back to take a seat on Soobin’s bed. Hyuka’s gaze dropped down to his lap before he tore them away and back up to Soobin’s eyes. “Sorry, hyung...” he muttered.

“About what?,” Soobin asked. Hyuka bit his lip before continuing. Soobin brought his arms up to cradle him, keeping his dongsaeng safe like he always did. He knew something bothered Kai and he’d always be willing to listen. 

“About rejecting you like that... and I think I should have said something years ago,” Hyuka lamented. “I told you I loved you when we were young, but I was scared of what that meant. I was just a kid. I didn’t want to grow up. But then my noona said that decisions didn’t have to be made that young, and emotions at that age don’t always last. I was afraid that if I told you, I might stop loving you. Stupid right?” he scoffed. “But I didn’t want my feelings to go away so I thought I’d wait for when we were older, and I could confess that I’d been in love with you forever and then I would be ready. But then...”

Soobin smiled, it was bittersweet but he understood. Kai has always been observant and had always been worried about how he's affecting others.

He squeezed Hyuka’s shoulder, urging him to continue, “I thought you were straight at first,” he laughed but continued, “I was so confused, of what I felt for you, even though my noona and Beomgyu hyung tried to help me. And I always knew you loved me. I’m sorry, hyung– I love you... but not that way, I’m still so sorry for rejecting you that way too, but I just want you to realize it too… I actually just realized the difference when I saw what a romantic relationship really was like. I saw how Beomgyu hyung fell for Taehyun and I saw how he loved him back. It took me a while to realize that their love and our love was different. I always knew you loved me and treated me specially, but I always knew that my love for you and my sister is somewhat the same. I was actually so glad when I got to witness you and Yeonjun hyung in that kissing booth. And I also realized that something was different, and it was like watching how someone special to me became happier...I’m really glad that you’re finally confessing your feelings for him, hyung.”

“I’ve loved you since the first time you told me I could be a doctor, maybe even when I first met you,” Soobin admitted.

Hueningkai tilted his head quizzically, “That was too long ago. It's been fourteen years...”

Soobin just nodded. “I know. We didn’t know each other back then, but you looked so amazed of a band aid. I knew you were special, even back then. You were like my comfort, someone who I needed to protect at all cost. I still remember our promise, you know. I promised you at such a young age that I wouldn't leave you alone. Ever. Fourteen years... and you were the most special person in my life.”

There was an odd look in Hyuka’s eyes, but then a wide grin spread across Hyuka’s face. “And now, there's someone who could possibly be even more special than me. Woah... fourteen years, and I find out you’re a sap,” he giggled.

Soobin groaned loudly, pushing him. “You just had to ruin the moment,” he grumbled.

“I’m still your best friend, remember? We might be getting all sentimental, but it’s my job to ruin the moment. It's so funny, I can never get sentimental with you... you have this sort of... ugly face...” Kai joked before adding, “Kidding aside, did that at least ease your nerves?” 

“Of course it did, but we were getting all emotional and close to hugging but you just had to ruin it,” Soobin grumbled. But then remembered what he was about to do, “You're right though, Yeonjun hyung is special. Having Yeonjun hyung in my life was just so unexpected. He was someone that just came into my life and he made it so significant that I didn’t know how important he was until he was gone. You saw how miserable I was and how everything literally wasn’t the same when he isn’t around.” 

Soobin sighed, letting his thoughts all pour out.

“And I like him _so much_ , words can’t even express.”

Hueningkai smiled- genuinely smiled, “I’m not the person you need to tell that to.” He stood up, as his smile grew wider, almost teasing. “But seriously- be thankful that I’m here to sort the two of you out. I expect to be the best man at your wedding for this.”

Soobin laughed, “No promises, Ning. We have to see how well this goes over first.”

“Hyung, it’ll be fine.” He rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling, then leaned forward to whisper to him. “But if you somehow fuck this up and don’t confess, I’ll fucking kill you.”

He swallowed tightly. “Noted.”

“Good.” He started to turn, leaving him with a wave and a likely too loud: “Best of luck, hyung.”

He watched him go, and once he was out of sight, Soobin opened his laptop and pulled up a new tab on google. The search bar lay empty for a few moments as he tapped his fingers against the keyboard.

_He’s finally gonna do this. He’s really confessing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up in a few hours hopefully~


	15. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN TBH. Long Notes Ahead!
> 
> First of all, I want to apologize for the longer than usual wait for these final chapters. As I said in my twt, the past few weeks in December weren’t good days for me and for the final weeks things had been busy. I've had it 70% done for weeks now, but I just kept changing it and changing it because honestly, I was very nervous about finishing this fic?? It was like I was getting stage fright or something. I open my gdocs and just can’t believe that people are actually waiting for it. I've gotten so many sweet and loving messages about this story, and the last thing I wanted to deliver was an unsatisfying ending. So I was feeling like nothing would be good enough :(( but I'm just so thankful to all my readers and I don't want anyone to be disappointed! But obviously I have to get over my fears because THIS IS IT!! I finally got it to a point where I was somewhat okay with how everything wrapped up, and I hope you feel the same. :)
> 
> Second of all, on a related note, I want to THANK EVERYONE <3 whether you've commented, bookmarked, reached out to me on twitter, or have just been silently reading along, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I love sharing my stories with others, and the fact that I've, maybe, touched, or entertained anyone during the process of this is just..... like.... wow.
> 
> So here we are final chap...

* * *

  
—YJ—

It was a beautiful day, the sun was out, the air was cool, and Yeonjun didn’t have much going on. But something definitely felt off. Yeonjun woke up with _nothing_ from Soobin. 

No texts.

No calls.

No hi or hello.

_Nothing._

He grumbled something under his breath about not seeing Soobin or not hearing from Soobin and basically how it was a ‘no Soobin’ day. It felt kinda _weird_.

It was when Yeonjun was walking back to his dorm that Hueningkai called him, panic evident in his voice, wondering if he'd seen Soobin.

_Something’s wrong_.

He ran to Soobin’s dorm, where all the others agreed to meet, without a second thought.

Soobin’s dorm building was blocks away from his, yet he managed to run all the way there in just a few minutes. He probably looked crazy running like a madman across the campus.

  
  


And then he was there.

He quickly entered the building, panting. Yeonjun entered without thinking, expecting his friends crowded around the room. He didn’t pause, didn’t give himself even a single second of as he stood there, opening the door knob and entering Soobin’s dorm room. Yeonjun frowned when he saw nothing but dimmed lights and candles spread around the room when he entered. 

  
  
  


Nightlights brightened the room as soon as Yeonjun walked through the door.

_Thinking he’d see him_ … 

* * *

_—SB—_

It was a great day, yet Soobin felt like _dying_. 

  
  


It was his _nerves_. 

Hyuka had already talked to him but for some reason he’s just really _really_ nervous. 

He was supposed to confess today. There he was, sitting on his bed, waiting for Yeonjun.

  
They had it all planned; his room was ready, Beomgyu and Taehyun were outside preparing the whole set up and Kai was now dialing Yeonjun hyung’s number. 

It was all in his favor, he had no classes and had all the time to prepare. All that’s left to do was just say his lines. What he _felt_. Elaborate confessions weren’t really his thing or confessions, per se. He quietly went over exactly what he’d say to his hyung when he came out about his feelings. 

The thought of doing this has been keeping him up for weeks, and it has got to stop. He’ll tell Yeonjun _today_ , and then- well, things hopefully would work out alright. It was the perfect day to do this. And it will all work out just fine. Because it’s Yeonjun.

  
Which is why his nerves are stupid because it’s _just_ Yeonjun.

But that’s also exactly why he’s nervous. Because it is, in fact, _Yeonjun_.

Choi Yeonjun, gorgeous, popular senior, loved by many, great at everything. First placer at this year’s dance competition. Hardworking, compassionate, loving, reliable and caring hyung.

_Just be honest._ He told himself, shaking his hands, trying to smooth out his shirt for the nth time that day, rubbing his thighs, having it all warmed up even if it wasn’t particularly cold.

_Just be open and honest._

_You can do it._

_You can do it._

_You’ve dealt with a lot of shit this year._

_This is just the end of your stupidity._

_You can do it._

And speaking of Yeonjun— shouldn’t he be on his way? 

Soobin frowned and checked on the younger who was busy fiddling with his phone. Soobin was about to ask if they should leave but could already hear Beomgyu shouting from outside his bedroom. 

“What the heck are you still doing?!” Beomgyu suddenly swung the door open and unfortunately, knocked poor Hueningkai out of Soobin’s sight. “Yeonjun hyung should be on his way home by now! You should call him now so we can leave!”

Soobin could hear Hyuka’s muttered cursing as he whined about his back while Beomgyu fussed about him blocking the door. It was a mess, Beomgyu kept reprimanding them about dilly-dallying and Kai kept on whining about being pushed.

“Are you guys ready to— Hyung?”, Taehyun joined them in his room as well, glancing at Soobin’s face, “Why aren’t you _breathing_? You look like you’re in the verge of passing out.”

Soobin’s about to make up some vague answer when Hueningkai yelled. “I called Yeonjun hyung already! Minutes ago! He’s probably on his way! Probably running. We have to leave!”

“What the hell, Hueningkai! Why didn’t you warn us! I told you I’ll give you my cue! How are we supposed to leave now?!”

“You _literally_ told us it’s time and I thought you guys were ready!,” Hueningkai huffed, trying to pull himself up but failed. “You kept on yelling outside, I was just waiting for you guys so we can leave! I can’t leave Soobin hyung here. Look! He looked like he’s about to pass out. I’m just making sure he’s alive before we all leave!”

“Kai.” Beomgyu growled.

Taehyun doesn’t even blink. “Okay, yeah, whatever. We just need to light everything and leave right now.”

  
  


_“What’s going on?”_ A familiar voice asked from outside the door, followed by a hesitant knock. “ _Are you guys okay?_ ”

  
  


_Well, there goes Soobin’s plan._

* * *

—YJ—

Yeonjun had no clue what was going on until he heard muffled shouting coming from Soobin’s bedroom. He just waited, whispering reassurances to himself that everything’s _fine_. They’re probably just planning a sleepover with Soobin.

  
  


_But what if Soobin’s sick?!_

  
  
  


He knocked, hesitantly, the room was then filled with silence. He slowly opened the door just to see this mess;

“What the heck?,” he mumbled, glancing at the room; Hueningkai was sitting on the floor, Beomgyu looked like he was about to murder him, Taehyun was just standing there, and Soobin was no where to be found, “Where’s Soobinie?” 

  
  


“Here,” Soobin said, voice cracking, making his presence known as he appeared from behind the door. The taller then stood in front of him. He looked fine. _Not sick_ , except for the fact that he was so red.

Yeonjun still didn’t quite manage to suppress his blush at the sight of him, though.

_He’s whipped and an idiot._

But Soobin was looking at him shyly, blush tinting his own cheeks, a soft pink as he stood there, waiting for Yeonjun to say something. He’s dressed in his white polo, some slacks - which seemed very formal and another proof that Soobin was not sick - his head tilted to the side as he watched Yeonjun, sleeves tugged over his hands and his socked feet tracing a pattern on the floor.

_He actually really looked good._

Yeonjun’s mouth has fallen open slightly.

“Right, yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “So… Umm…? What is going on? What’s with all this?”

“Just a sec,” Soobin muttered, “Let me just get them out.”

Immediately Beomgyu turned to Yeonjun. “Good luck, hyung,” he whispered, tugging Yeonjun close. “I’m sure you guys can figure this out.” 

Taehyun nodded in agreement as Soobin ushered them out. His three younger friends all duck down, and went to the living room, leaving the two alone.

_Yeonjun's confused._

“Don’t get into trouble, you guys.” Soobin called out through the closing door. “I don’t want to see any mess in there, alright?”

“Sounded like a real parent… nice” Yeonjun muttered, catching Soobin’s eye as he smiled widely.

“It really isn’t. It’s the opposite of nice.” Soobin chuckled at this, “Do you know what it’s like to constantly guide adult toddlers who are also scheming and clever college students?”

But the silence fell flat as Soobin led him and they both sat down by the edge of Soobin’s bed.

“So?” Yeonjun moved forward, hands shoved in between his thighs to hide his fidgeting as Soobin cleared his throat. "Is there something going on?"

* * *

_—SB—_

_This was not how things were supposed to go._

Sure, Soobin didn’t have any glamorous plans for his night with Yeonjun, but things definitely weren’t supposed to spiral this much _out of control_. They should be in his living room right now, chatting about their plans, munching on snacks as their knees practically touched on the couch where they’d be sitting; his intentions really were to keep things simple yet genuine tonight. Then Soobin would try to confess his feelings. Tell Yeonjun how much he meant to him.

But of course _these three_ had to mess with the plan. 

Of course, Yeonjun had to come _way too early_. 

And _of fucking course_ Yeonjun had to hear Beomgyu and Hueningkai fighting. 

This just isn’t fair. 

It’s so frustrating, so tiresome, that he almost felt the need to start hitting something. He can’t keep doing this. 

And so, he just decided to do it.

Swallowing nervously, Soobin drew his hands back onto his lap and curled them up into fists. His inner panic only worsened as potential worst case scenarios started cycling through his mind. Things might end before they can even begin, or maybe Yeonjun will be so disappointed in him that he would reject him and their friendship won’t even last long together. That once Yeonjun’s graduation hits - which is just a semester away- they’ll drift apart and never regain that closeness they once shared.

Okay, okay. Maybe he’s getting a little ahead of himself here. He hasn’t _even_ confessed yet, and Soobin was already dreaming up some horrible reality where he ends up enduring the rest of his life as some bitter, lonely adult.

He got so caught up in these worrisome thoughts and doubts that he didn’t even hear his name being said again and again, his cheeks were red, embarrassed for zoning out.

“Yeah, sorry so...” Soobin’s shoulders slump as he sighed, “I have to… tell you something. Something I was going to tell you weeks before, but you—you broke off communication with me.”

Yeonjun winced. “Binnie, I’m really sorry about—”

“No, hyung, I’m not blaming you. I…It’s my fault and You told me it’s fine so we have to get through that...” He raised his gaze to Yeonjun. 

_Okay, he’s really doing this._

“Do you remember the night when I texted you to come to the studio? When I was with Hyuka and you saw us…uh...”

* * *

—YJ—

Yeonjun had no idea where this conversation’s gonna lead but he nodded. The hot nasty feeling was back in his stomach. “Uh, yeah. I remember.”

“Then you remember…” He noticed Soobin’s hand was clenched, “well you... do you remember uh...? When you saw us, me and Hueningkai, kissing and you thought we were dating?”

Closing his eyes, Yeonjun thought, _shit_. “Yeah,” he grunted out. He remembered every detail. How cold it was that night, unusual for him, and Soobin was there with Hyuka, sitting by the leather couch as they kissed passionately. “And I was… shocked...”

“Hmm....”

“And I left without anyone noticing.”

“No one knew that you came...”

That made Yeonjun chuckle sadly, “I never knew what to do.” Yeonjun snorted. “Listen, Soobin…”

“Please let me finish.” Yeonjun could see Soobin’s legs moving, something he did whenever he was nervous. “That night, I told you I was gonna tell you something. Do- Do you want to know what it was?”

It’s like Yeonjun’s waking nightmare. He thought that he should _forget_ that night—that he was too sad and heartbroken to even recall it. Yeonjun, however, has run through that scene almost every night, sleepless and staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. 

To Soobin’s question, he’s silent.

_Hueningkai already rejected him that night, right? Why would Soobin bring them both back to that painful event?_

“I was supposed to apologize for being one-sided and was _supposed_ to tell you that I was confused about my feelings for Kai and that he rejected me,” Soobin prompted. “I was gonna tell you that I have feelings for someone else,”

The feeling of Yeonjun’s heart sinking into his feet — the sudden ringing that was in his ears. 

_Of course Soobin likes someone else. Why did he keep getting his hopes up?_

Soobin had grabbed both Yeonjun’s limp arms, turned him a bit to face him. Soobin said, breathlessly, “Yeonjun- Hyung, I think I’m in love. And I think that the person didn’t even know, but I’m now going to tell them.”

_Is that why there are preparations out there?_

“Oh, that’s cool,” was all that Yeonjun said, heavily swallowing, “Is that why everyone’s here? Are we gonna surprise—”

“Hyung, I never told you who it was and I wasn’t able to tell you that day...”

But Yeonjun _doesn’t want_ to hear and he was running away from the situation—as usual. Like how he ran after kissing Soobin at the booth; how he ran the night after the party; how he ran from Soobin for almost a _goddamn month_.

Yeonjun felt the words on his lips, wanting to say something close to a ‘ _Please, don’t tell me_ ’. Felt himself tilting toward Soobin’ gravity, leaning into the unknown. Yeonjun wanted to tell him he likes him. He shouldn’t be telling all this to him because Yeonjun's _weak_. He was again reminded about Soobin and Hyuka, how he lost his chance, turned and decided to never see Soobin again. To move on...

He avoided the situation: as usual.

_Should he avoid it again?_

“Yeonjun hyung?”

Yeonjun stared through those pretty eyes. They’re earnestly staring at Yeonjun, and Soobin looked so damn beautiful.

“Fuck,” Yeonjun gritted out, running an agitated hand through his hair. He stood up, paced away from the bed, turned back, holding his hands out imploringly. “Soobin, I can’t do this.”

Soobin frowned. “Do what?”

“This!” Yeonjun exclaimed, throwing out an arm, gesturing between them. “Be your friend, just smile and pretend that—” He cut himself off with a frustrated grunt. “What’s even the point? This was a mistake.”

Soobin scrambled to his feet, hands on his hips. “A mistake?”

“Well, yeah! First us... kissing… in that booth, then at the party and you… kissing me when we met again because you said you missed me…. and now I have to fucking _listen_ to you gush, again, about how much you love — _whoever — the fuck_ you are confessing to, Soobin! I just can’t do it.”

_He couldn’t bear getting his heart broken again._

* * *

—SB—

Soobin frowned, trying to piece together what he could from all this. “Does… Does this mean that you— ” Soobin’s mouth was agape; Yeonjun turned on his heel and stomped towards the door.

“Hyung!” Soobin was chasing after him. “Yeonjun hyung, you’re not making any sense!”

Yeonjun continued walking, until a hand grabbed his shoulder, and he was whirled around to face Soobin. “Hyung, what’s going on?”

“Soobin, I mean it—”

“Just let me tell you who—”

“No!” Yeonjun yelled.

“Why not?” Soobin shooted back at equal volume.

“Because I’m in love with you, okay, you idiot? I am! I’ve spent so much time worrying about this happening… about creeping you out or driving you away once you noticed that I… B-But then you just waltz right back then kissing me after not talking to me for almost a goddamn month... and you say that you like someone else!? Of course I’m going to freak out and feel impossibly nervous! And of course I’m going to lose it when you do all these little things to give me hope, like calling me or texting me or… or even kissing me…! I mean, what am I supposed to do? I never even considered that you’d start liking me back after all this time! And you’re telling me like _someone_ again… I don’t think I could handle it...”

_Oh_.

A silence fell between them as Soobin processed all that’s been said, his face growing hotter and hotter as realization slowly began to dawn on him. He tried to think back to every moment he’s shared with Yeonjun over these past few days, attempting to pick out all the times where the glaring obvious was right in front of him and yet overlooked by his own worries and concerns about confessing. 

It hasn’t fully sunk in. And now that it has, Soobin feels like he’s about to die. He squirmed a little in his feet, trying to fight the color that he knows has risen in his cheeks.

_Yeonjun likes him._

_Yeonjun really, truly likes him._

_Yeonjun’s in love with him._

_Shit._

* * *

—YJ—

It’s silent, and Soobin was doing nothing but staring at him, chest heaving with heavy breaths. Yeonjun pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut. He’s tired, “Listen, Soobin, I—”

“It’s you.”

_What._

Yeonjun opened an eye. “What?”

There’s a smile slowly forming on Soobin’ face. “It’s you, dumbass. The person I’m in love with.”

“Bullshit.” Yeonjun dropped his hand, and blinked at him. “And did you just call me dumbass?”

Rolling his eyes, Soobin huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Yeonjun—”

“No, Soobin, this is _bullshit_. You told me you liked Kai since day one! You can’t just tell me you love me like that. And what could you possibly even see in me? I’m not— I’m not even remotely close to being like— _Him_? There’s a huge difference. Is this a joke?”

Soobin narrowed his eyes. His hands came up to Yeonjun’s arms, and he pulled him close. Ignoring Yeonjun’s sputtered complaints, Soobin barked out, “Stop talking like you’re an idiot — you’re not. If I could just count the many ways of how I am _absolutely_ in love with you, I would! You're a kind, intelligent, enigmatic, hardworking, wonderful person which happens to be you, so I prepared all this shit and tried my best to confess! Isn’t it _obvious_ that it’s you?! We called _you_ to come here. I kissed _you_ after missing you for so long. I even kissed you at that party when I was perfectly sober even if you're not! I liked kissing you, hugging you, staying close to you, just being with you. Hyung look—”

Soobin didn’t get any further. 

That was enough for Yeonjun.

Yeonjun squirmed away from Soobin’s hold, taking Soobin’s head in his hands, pulling him forward to meet his lips. Soobin made a small noise of surprise, and returned it with equal enthusiasm, his hands coming up to run through Yeonjun’s hair.

They stood for endless moments in Soobin’s bedroom, their mouths softly moving against each other—Yeonjun’s stomach was turning, but now in leaps and jumps of joy.

Soobin loves _him_.

“Wait,” Yeonjun said as they break away. Soobin’s arms were around his waist, and his fingers gently grazed Soobin’s cheek. “You were preparing a grand confession… do you mean _all_ _these_ …for me?”

“For God’s sake, yes, but it somehow was ruined,” Soobin laughed in exasperation, even as Yeonjun’s smiling against his lips. 

“It’s perfect anyways,” Yeonjun said, bringing Soobin’s face to his again, capturing him in another soft, endless kiss.

* * *

—SB—

Somehow, they ended up laying down, facing each other on his bed, after not-so-many kisses. Soobin could only lay there, in a dazed stupor and continued clasping his hyung’s hands between his own sweaty palms, close enough to hear their breaths. After a few moments, however, he finally snapped out of it enough to take notice of the awkward silence that’s fallen between them. Yeonjun didn’t look very sure of what to do, either. Scrambling to find a way to continue things, he ended up asking the first thing that comes to mind.

“Hey, so...”

“Yes…?”

“Do you think..." Soobin clenched his fists around Yeonjun’s waist, determined not to back down now that he’s come this far. "I mean, you probably can’t tomorrow since you have class, but, uh. I was wondering. If you’re free the day after or something, maybe.”

“Probably?” 

“I meant like… Do you maybe want to go somewhere and do stuff. Together?”

A pause. Yeonjun stared at him a moment before lighting up, the excitement in his eyes betraying the calm look he’s likely struggling to keep on his face. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

_Shit._ Soobin’s ears started to burn, but he remained firm in his resolve. “Yeah, sure. That’s.... Yeah.”

“I… Yes? Oh god, yes?” 

His act was slipping up, a smile tugging at his lips despite his efforts to not let it show. 

“Does this mean we’re dating?”

“Um, yes? I think that’s usually what happens when people do this kind of thing, so…”

“Oh.” _What a pointless question_. Soobin felt his face begin to heat up a bit. He ended up glancing off to the side, unwilling to let his embarrassment be seen. “God, Why am I so lame?.”

“Nooo… it’s actually really cute..” Yeonjun bit back a smile, and then took a long, deep breath before making his reply, face flushed. “It’s one of the things I love about you, Binnie.”

The beginnings of a goofy smile started to tug at the corners of Soobin’s lips. Just how was he supposed to keep from nearly passing out when the reality he’s facing is one that’s just too good to be true? Yeonjun loves him.

_Calm down._

Yeonjun’s eyes are studying every subtle movement of his face, and Soobin was promptly transported back to the kissing booth, a few months past. He’s reminded of how he met Yeonjun, how addicted he was with the kiss that he felt hallucinating, seeing Yeonjun everywhere. How friendly the senior was despite Soobin being awkward, how vulnerable he could get. He also remembered how hardworking he was that he forgets himself sometimes. How hot Yeonjun looked at the dance competition. How selfless he was for not letting anyone know about his injury or not getting mad at Soobin. He felt saddened by how much pain he might’ve caused Yeonjun for so long. But then, here he was, Yeonjun’s looking at him like he looks at the stars.

“I don’t know what I did to have you like me back, hyung.” And then he’s smiling, a little lopsided, but Soobin felt its warmth all the way down to his toes. 

“What do you mean?” Yeonjun’s fingers gently touched Soobin’s cheek.

“Well, we never talked. Not really. We kissed multiple times. I must’ve hurt you multiple times and we’ve been dancing around each other for I don’t know how long and it’s just-”

“Shh...” Yeonjun placed a finger on his lips “What’s done was done, there’s nothing we could do. What’s important is we’re here now and you’re getting better at that,” he pointed out. “The whole heartfelt confession thing.” 

“Hyuka helped,” Soobin admitted.

“Oh, god. Did he nag at you?”

“Surprisingly, no. Beomgyu did.”

They laughed, gently, and it sounds like a beautifully practiced duet. If Soobin could record that sound, he thinks, he’d play it on repeat for the rest of his days.

* * *

—YJ—

“Hmm… now that we’re having his talk and all... I have something else to say,” Yeonjun said, he didn’t know how to bring this up and it sounded way more embarrassing now that he’s finally admitting it, “Umm...That day… in the fair? Um.. why is this so embarrassing.”

  
  
  


“What is it hyung?” Soobin hummed, amused as Yeonjun tried to cover his face.

  
  
  


“I might not be completely honest with you…” Yeonjun huffed away his embarrassment, still covering his face, “IactuallynevervolunteeredfortheboothandIjustreallywanttokissyouthatday.”

  
  


“What?”

“That day...” Yeonjun reddened a little bit more. He could definitely feel the heat rushing from his neck onto his face. His face has probably reddened to the point where it’s almost concerning. It’s weird to admit it now, but he has to. “I… ugh… I was never a substitute… I just went there because I wanted to kiss you...”

Yeonjun did his best to continue, but still covered his face, “I met you at the freshmen orientation and well… I liked you ever since… but then I never saw you again until the booth… you might think I’m weird.”

It was silent for a while and Yeonjun was scared until he heard a muffled laugh. Soobin quietly reached over the hand that was covering his face and intertwined it over his. 

“It’s not weird,” he said firmly, “And it’s not pathetic, either. It’s where it all started anyway. If you haven’t done that, then I might still be foolishly thinking that I like Huening that way… Besides, you just said it yourself a couple of minutes ago, what’s done was done, there’s nothing we could do. What’s important is we’re here now.”

Yeonjun turned back to face him, chewing his lip anxiously. “You’re not just saying that, are you? ‘Cause if you are, I swear to god.”

“I mean it. I… I’m really happy that you like me, even if you did such a stalker move on me that day on the booth.” Soobin just laughed his response, and Yeonjun, despite knowing that the taller was just teasing, still felt embarrassed.

“Look, I’m so sor—”

“Can we both just stop apologizing,” Soobin breathed, sliding his hand up Yeonjun’s waist to his back, pulling him closer, “and keep making out?”

Yeonjun laughed, seeing how Soobin’s face changed. 

Yeonjun shuddered as Soobin’s lips met his again, hands running through his hair and across his back. All the luck in the world just came back to give him this, the greatest gift- Soobin, soft under his mouth and under his touch, leaning into him and ingraining the very air around them with light and love and the promise of a possible relationship.

Yeonjun eventually pulled back with a sigh that sounded so sinful, he thought he could keep kissing Soobin all day if he told him so. 

“This feels like the stupidest drama I’ve ever seen,” Yeonjun grumbled.

“It is. Let’s never tell the others.”

“You mean to say,” Yeonjun gasped, clutching his chest in agony, “you don’t want me telling our friends that you poured your heart out to me?”

“Isn’t it the same for you?,” Soobin said, teasingly elbowing him in the ribs.

Yeonjun caught his arm, tugging him close again. His stomach fluttered as he pulled Soobin in, pressing their foreheads together.

Soobin closed his eyes and hummed in contentment. Yeonjun wondered what sort of country he saved in his past life to deserve this.

“Look, at you,” he said, brushing his hands through Soobin’s hair. “You’re so bold now, kissing me like that.”

“I’ve always been bold. I’m always the one who kisses you first” Soobin blushed, lacing his fingers between Yeonjun’s.

“Okay, Mr. Kisser.” Yeonjun bumped their shoulders together, smiling innocently as Soobin turned to him. “Shall we check on the kids? They’ve been quiet for a while. Besides, I heard something from outside.”

* * *

-SB-

They started heading over towards the door, the scowl on Soobin’s face darkening with each step he took. Attempted whispers could still be heard coming from the other side. Honestly, he expected this much from Hueningkai and Beomgyu, but also Taehyun? After their big plan about not wanting to bother him and Yeonjun today? 

“Yah, you three,” he said, grabbing onto the handle and giving it a yank. “What the hell do you think you’re doing out there, huh?”

It’s no surprise when not just Hueningkai and Beomgyu but also Taehyun ended up toppling over with them into the bedroom once the door swung open, crushed beneath their combined weight. They looked nothing short of horrified, they looked even proud of what they did.

“This… isn’t what it looks like!” Hueningkai protested.

A faint, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” could be heard from Yeonjun from behind him. Beomgyu and Kai could only grin sheepishly at being caught.

“Well at least, _now_ , you have a boyfriend. That talk was way too long!” Taehyun chided, “Can you two idiots just hurry up and do whatever else you guys need to do already so we can go eat?”

More laughter exchanged from all of them, soft and breathless, because Soobin’s lungs had finally gone numb. He knew that the oxygen was coming and going from his body, but the only thing he could feel at that moment was Yeonjun's touch as he inched a hand outward, fingers hooking into the belt loops of Soobin’s pants and resting his chin onto Soobin’s shoulder, back hugging him.

They pull apart, as if a spell has been broken, and their friends have gathered in a conspiratorial clump, flashing knowing grins, and smug expressions.

Beomgyu cupped his hands around his mouth, and called out, “We have dinner reservations in an hour and I’m starving!” 

Yeonjun turned back around, not looking even the least bit guilty, whispering “You heard him, Binnie. Guess we better stop smooching.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want to kiss me right now,” Soobin smirked.

“Oh, my god, shut up.”

* * *

—YJ—

He wasn't expecting Soobin to be _this clingy_.

Not that Yeonjun minded but they're on their way to class and Soobin just kept on flustering him.

"You're planning some weird things again, Binnie..."

"It's not weird if we're dating!" 

“We’re also on the way to class,” Yeonjun said, clicking his tongue. “Someone could easily see us.”

A smirk curls on the other’s lips, and with that Yeonjun knew that he’s already doomed. He gripped his bag tightly, trying to keep himself focused on the path ahead of them rather than Soobin’s figure pressing closer and leaning down just enough to breathe, “But there’s no one else here right now, hyung” in his ear.

Yeonjun swatted him away immediately, sputtering and looking around frantically for others. There’s no sign of any, but still . It’s best to play it safe, otherwise Yeonjun would thoroughly be embarrassed if anyone he knew sees and started teasing him later on.

“Soobin, we’re in the middle of the street… Can’t it wait until— holy shi—”

He yelped in surprise as Soobin suddenly grabbed his arms and tugged him towards the thick of trees lining their path. It’s difficult for two tall boys such as themselves to really hide behind them, but Soobin somehow made it work, their figures mostly concealed as they settle behind one of the larger trunks. Yeonjun released a sigh, shaking himself free, defeated.

“Now no one can see us.”

“You’re such an ass.”

Soobin’s cheeks redden slightly. “I’ve been thinking about doing this all morning… Didn’t have the chance with Jihoon nosing around, and—”

Ah. Yeonjun softened his gaze, reminding himself that even with things falling into a more comfortable pace for them these past couple weeks, affectionate moments like this are still… tricky, he supposed, for any of them to initiate. Though he does do plenty to give them opportunities to be alone, there’s always hesitation on both of them. A nervousness, or some kind of doubt, like he feared his advances will be violently shot down. Yeonjun understands, and always reassures him that if he ever does want him to stop or slow down, he’ll say so. And in turn, Soobin always nods and quietly thanks him before continuing, lips searching and fingers running through his hair.

He always thought Soobin would be more hesitant and shy with affection. Not because he’s given off that kind of vibe at any point, but because he just has that warm, calming look, and a nice attitude to back it up with. Yeonjun never would have guessed he’d turn out so bold, so clingy during their time alone. It’s actually kind of nice. He’s not used to being treated like something so inherently precious.

“...Are you,” he began, a smile tugging on the corners of his lips, “Trying to sneak a kiss?”

Soobin swallowed, then clears his throat. He’s nervous, though it’d be a lie of Yeonjun said he didn’t feel just the same. Being around him like this always gets his heart racing and his palms sweating.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. I don’t think I’d be able to wait until the end of the day.”

“You’re really impatient, you know that?”

“Waited more than half the damn semester to get to this point,” he replied, rubbing the pad of his thumb just beneath Yeonjun’s waist. “I’m doing my best, alright.”

“I know you are. And I really don’t mind, with us being here alone and all, so…” He trailed off, looking down as he fights the blush creeping up onto his cheeks. “What will you do now?”

Soobin responded by kissing him gently, keeping one hand tucked on Yeonjun’s waist while bringing the other to cup his hyung’s face, bringing him closer.

The touch of his fingers, his moist lips brushing against his own, the faintest mingling of the coffee he drank and mint on his breath — Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile into the kiss and gripped on Soobin’s shoulder, wordlessly asking for more of him, for more of everything. And that’s just what he got. He barely even registered the sound of the taller dropping his bag, now occupied with much more of an important task.

Several long moments pass before they finally break away. Soobin bit his swollen lip and pulled back, while Yeonjun, out of habit, ran a hand through Soobin’s hair, not minding his glistening lips, then Yeonjun’s off to the side.

“You’re becoming a lot more confident,” he mumbled.

Soobin’s gaze was steady. “Don’t act that you don’t like it.”

“Do you think we’re getting better at it now, then? This — Us, I mean.”

Soobin smiled a little at him, and it made Yeonjun think of how he felt at that moment: warm, content, and full of possibilities. He couldn’t help but smile right back, squeezing their hands together before they continued on down the road to their classes.

“We’ve always been pretty good whenever we’re together. I think we’ll be fine, hyung.”

* * *

“God, you two are making me nauseous,” Hueningkai whined loudly, “I only encouraged the development of this relationship because I thought Soobin hyung would rather die than engage in PDA!”

“You’re just jealous,” Yeonjun said, placing his head back onto Soobin’s shoulder, whose chest rumbled pleasantly against Yeonjun’s back as he chuckled.

They were hanging out once again in Soobin's dorm, all sitting by his carpeted flooring, munching on some pizzas and Hueningkai couldn't help but grumble how he's fifth wheeling.

“Come on, Hyuka, we’re finally witnessing their love blossom in front of our very eyes, I’d rather have this than the agony of them dancing around each other,” Beomgyu chided, before he paused thoughtfully. He hummed, “Although now that you guys are together, Soobin probably broke the heart of just about every single person on campus who’s been crushing on Yeonjun hyung.”

“You probably forgot that Soobin hyung’s also famous in their building.”

“I am?”

“Please, even if it’s obvious enough, your oblivious ass wouldn’t even notice”

As if sensing Yeonjun’s train of thought, Soobin’s arms tightened around Yeonjun’s waist. “Well, too bad,” he said, “Yeonjun hyung’s mine now.”

Yeonjun snorted, turning his head to face him, “You’re mine too, Binnie. Don’t forget.”

Soobin hid a grin against his neck, placing a small peck.

“Hey,” Yeonjun said after a moment, his voice lilting in a way that Soobin had learned to recognize as a precursor to something truly and horribly cheesy coming out of his mouth. True to form, Yeonjun proceeded to murmur with a dopey smile so sweet that it made Soobin’s heart ache just by looking at it, “When I kissed you in the booth, I had this sudden realization to hunt you and never let you go.”

At least this time when Soobin groaned in embarrassment, tucking his face to his hyung’s neck, he thought that Yeonjun wasn’t the only one who thought that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this story has come to an end. I’ve been saying loads of times that this came out of nowhere and that I just started posting it just because I thought… why not? It’s a challenge I gave myself especially since I’m not really doing anything this quarantine period. Tbh I never expected this story to get the response that it got. It was my first time writing a full plot chaptered fic, a slowburn at that, and I had no idea if I would be any good at it. This was actually huge learning experience as a writer and I'm so glad you guys were here with me all through it. I have stressed about it a bunch of times, been really bothered about it and had loads of regrets coz I thought I could make it even better than what it is rn.
> 
> I had a lot of disappointments with this fic :
> 
> I think I focused a lot on their relationship development and forgot about their character developments. I wanted to show more of who Yeonjun is and who Soobin is past their insecurities and obliviousness but I wasn’t able to add that out. I focused on how their relationship grew to something even more which I guess is not that bad but still :( I still think I could’ve done better. Nevertheless, I’m glad with how this came to be and happy that my characters got the ending that we’ve all been waiting for xD
> 
>   
> And I honestly had been stressing about the title too since idk how to relate it to the story. Tbh I drafted this fic as counting from 1-15 and see what story I could build with using numbers as chapters and thought that the title should have the word count on it coz like you’re counting. Which WAS a bad idea. Idk what I was thinking back then! It was kinda funny now that I look back to it.
> 
> I can't even begin to describe how much all of your support has meant to me. It has been so overwhelmingly positive and i definitely wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for every comments you’ve shared and every reassurance you gave. Reading all of your comments makes my day and I swear I get shocked everytime I get such paragraph responses T-T it meant a lot to me.
> 
>   
> Now before this gets any longer, I just wanna say that I truly enjoyed writing this overall. It was a challenge and a headache, yes but I wouldn’t have it done any other way. I’m glad u guys had shared this journey with me~ 
> 
> For future works; I’ve already hinted a bunch of times that I’m currently working on another ongoing~ I actually have a lot of ideas and im excited to delve into them. I'm really working on other genres and aus as well as practicing on my angst, too. (W/c is still a work in progress) And I’ll take this fic as a lesson to my other future works and hope I’ll get better in writing!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this cliche af fic and enjoying the agony with me

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my mistakes for this is un-beta-ed.. I hope you enjoyed it! :)) Kudos and Comments are greatly appreciated. It would actually help me write better! But pls be nice 🥺 I’m new when it comes to writing 😅
> 
> More about this fic: [ twt thread ](https://twitter.com/krymshelangel/status/1346397572483584000?s=21)  
> Rant about Yeonbin with me:  
> [ twt ](https://twitter.com/shysoovinnie)  
> [ twt for fic updates](https://twitter.com/krymshelangel)  
> [ CuriousCat ](https://curiouscat.qa/ShySooVinnie)  
> Tumblr: krymshelangel


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